Security Online: Do You Have to Be a Married Parent to Qualify?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

As we all do more and more of our banking and shopping and business online, a particular kind of question is becoming ubiquitous – the security question. These are questions presumably written so as to be relevant to the vast majority of the people who will be answering them. That makes them particularly interesting windows into the assumptions that are made about adult life.

Continue reading… »



Is This a First for Humans? People Eat Alone More Often Than with Others

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

What could be more sociable than the act of sharing a meal or a drink?

For years, I’ve been researching and writing about one particular variety of eating alone – dining alone in restaurants. I have found that people are often very self-conscious about dining solo. They think other people are thinking mean and dismissive things about them when they do. Those fears, it turns out, are overblown. Other people are just as likely to be catty about the couple they see at the next table.

Continue reading… »



Part 2 of ‘Othering’ People Who Are Single: Guest Post by Gabriela Denise Frank

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

gabriela_frank_headshot[From Bella: This is Part 2 from guest blogger Gabriela Denise Frank. Part 1 is here: Are You 'Other' If You Are Not a Mother? Part 1.]

Are You ‘Other’ If You Are Not a Mother? Part 2.

Guest Post by Gabriela Denise Frank

First, we must stop relegating single and childless women into a separate caste. (I hate to even write the word ‘childless’ as if this somehow means that’s we’re lacking, but what other word is there, child-free?) Point being, when half of females of child-bearing age today are actually childless, as the article states, we are no longer other. Yet, there is more.

Continue reading… »



Are You ‘Other’ If You Are Not a Mother? Part 1. Guest Post by Gabriela Denise Frank

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

gabriela_frank_headshot[Bella's intro: In this first of a 2-part post, guest blogger Gabriela Denise Frank offers an enlightening, stereotype-smashing view of what it means to live alone. In this first part, she takes on the "othering" of people who do not fit into traditional categories, such as married mom. In the second, she offers suggestions for transcending the boxes popular culture tries to trap us in. Lots of travel and bold living is involved. I first came across Gabriela's insightful writing at her blog. Thanks, Gabriela, for sharing your smart perspective with us.]

Continue reading… »



How to Succeed in Our Networked World: 10 Tips from the Ones Who Wrote the Book

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

shutterstock_155730194In my last post, I described the three revolutions that have made our 21st century interpersonal worlds so powerful, so fraught, and so distinctive. As explained by Networked authors Lee Rainie and Barry Wellman, the three are the Social Network Revolution, the Internet Revolution, and the Mobile Revolution. Here I will share the authors’ tips for not just surviving in our new world, but thriving.

Continue reading… »



The 3 Revolutions Rocking Our Social Worlds

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

shutterstock_144909694When I was growing up, there was a big telephone stuck to the kitchen wall. I used it occasionally, as did everyone else in the family, but mostly, our contacts with other people took place in person. When I had a question about something relevant to my schoolwork, I looked at my textbooks or the encyclopedias at home; if neither of those had the answer, then I made a trip to the library.

Three revolutions have upended all that and totally transformed our lives. Lee Rainie and Barry Wellman, two of the most accomplished and trustworthy scholars on these matters, explain what’s happened in Networked: The New Social Operating System. The “triple revolution” they describe has these three components:

Continue reading… »



Is Your Life Worth Less If You Are Single or Have No Kids?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

shutterstock_155613593I like to stay in touch with the latest news from groups that work for social justice. Color of Change is one such group. They do good work and I usually look forward to receiving their emails. However, shortly after that horrible incident in which a Black man was choked by police officers until he died, the email I received had this subject line:

Black husband and father choked to death by NYPD officers

 

Continue reading… »



Seeing Without Being Seen: The Greatest Place in the World?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

shutterstock_111708683“Where would people go if given completely free choice?” That’s a question the eminent evolutionary biologist, E. O. Wilson, answered in his book, Biophilia: The Human Bond with Other Species. (I discussed biophilia in a previous Single at Heart post here.) Here’s his answer:

Continue reading… »



Are the Upper Classes the Most Biased Against Single People?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

shutterstock_120673879We don’t need to wonder whether single people are stereotyped. Years ago, my colleagues and I conducted a series of studies to see how people view single people. The results documented widespread singlism – people viewed singles more harshly than married people in many ways (for example, as less mature, more self-centered, more envious, and less well-adjusted). Both men and women perceived single people in more negative ways than they viewed married people. People who were in romantic relationships were critical of single people, but so were people who were not in such relationships.

Continue reading… »



What Really Happens at ‘The Great Love Debate’? Guest Post by Kim Calvert

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

calvert[Bella's intro: There are some events I would never want to attend, such as ones that pose the question, "Why is everyone still single," as if that's a bad thing. Fortunately, the wonderful Kim Calvert went to one iteration of "The Great Love Debate" so we don't have to. Even more fortunately, Kim brings her much more enlightened attitude to the task of reporting back to us. Thanks, Kim! Readers, you can find out more about Kim in the "About the Author" section at the end. And one more thing: If you want to know the real reasons for living single, check this out.]

Continue reading… »



 
 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • Simone: There’s the judgment and ostracism of the single/without children women out there in the world, and...
  • Simone: Great article. Much needed. Thanks, Gabriela and Bella.
  • pj4101: Americans constantly rate things as worth more. Everything from cell phones to what age someone is. Why...
  • Mo: Hmmm…why mention that he was black?
  • Dee Dee: Thanks for explaining the data gathering methodology in the meta-analysis of the 18 studies. As a biological...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!