General

Grief Over the Loss of a Pet Is Finally Getting Acknowledged in the Workplace

Pets have a special place in the lives of so many people. They can be our loving, nonjudgmental, loyal friends, always there for us, always happy to see us. They can even be coolly aloof, and that can have its own charm. Many people feel quite attached to their pets. Even apart from any special bonds, pets can be important in the way they are part of the patterns of our everyday lives.

Continue Reading

How we live now

Committing to Single Life: Is There a Time When You Just Know?

All sorts of life transitions are marked by rituals that memorialize a particular day, or a particular event, as significant. Graduations. Birthday parties. Retirement celebrations. The wedding ritual, marking the day of the official transition into married life. More and more often, there are also divorce events, putting a stamp – sometimes a celebratory one – on the end of a marriage.

But what about people who are single and decide to continue on that course? People who perhaps are single at heart – who believe that they lead their best, most authentic, and most meaningful lives by living single. Others, too, whose commitment to single life may not be an unqualified embrace, but who have weighed the options in their life and decided, single it is.

Is there a time when they just know that they want to live single?

Continue Reading

General

Understanding Marital Status Discrimination: From a Congressional Candidate

When constituents write to their political leaders and candidates, what they get back in just about every instance is a form letter. That's not entirely a bad thing, I don't think; if they have a form letter in their back pocket, at least they've thought about the issue and developed a position on it.

Every once in a while, though, something amazing happens: a person in politics writes a personal, thoughtful, and informed response – and, cares about the cause you wrote about. That just happened on one of the issues most important to me – marital status discrimination. (The ways in which single people are treated less fairly just because they are single, marital status discrimination, is part of a broader concept I call singlism, the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against people who are single.)

Continue Reading

General

College Love Stories, Reimagined

I went to Vassar College because a friend of my father's, knowing that I had good grades, told him I should apply there. At the time, I had never heard of it. Neither had my dad.

I grew up in the tiny town of Dunmore, Pennsylvania, outside of Scranton. Once I realized that Vassar was an elite school, I was a bit embarrassed to have tried for admission. About a month after I applied, my high school guidance counselor asked if I had heard anything back yet. I said I hadn't, and didn't really expect any good news. To which she replied, "Oh, honey, you shouldn't feel that way. In 1933, a girl from this school applied to Smith, and she got in."

Continue Reading

General

21 Ways Single People Are Taxed More Than Married People on Tax Day and Every Other Day

Americans become especially attuned to fairness in taxation when April 15 rolls around, but for people who are single, every day is tax day. When single people pay more than married people do, either financially or emotionally, they are subsidizing married people.

Here are just some of the ways in which every day is tax day if you are single.

When you are single, every day is the day when you pay more...
Continue Reading

General

If You Are Single with No Kids, Who Is Your Family?

Today in the U.S., it is just about as ordinary to be single as to be married. There are 107 million unmarried Americans who are 18 or older; if you start counting at 16, singles have outnumbered married people for years. Alongside the steady and remarkable increase in the number of single people is another striking development – the rise of people who never do raise any kids.

If you are single and you have no kids, who is your family? Do you even have one?

Continue Reading

General

Marriage Is Over, and Not Just in Iceland

Iceland, it seems, is done with marriage. So says CNN in the article, "Is marriage outdated in Iceland?" My inbox is filling up with "did-you-see-this" emails and the article has already been posted several times in the Community of Single People. For good reason. Icelanders are not just forsaking marriage, they also seem to be remarkably free of stigma and shaming when it comes to people who are single, perhaps especially single parents.

Americans, in contrast, are getting married much more often than Scandinavians. (Sometimes the same people in the U.S. do it over and over again). In our land, matrimania and singlism are rampant.

But here's the thing. Even in the U.S., the end of marriage has come. Let me share my favorite rant on this topic:

Continue Reading