Treatment Articles

The 10 Biggest Myths about Sex Addiction Treatment

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

Unhappy couple on psychotherapy sessionThese 10 things are not so much myths as they are distortions born of fear and misinformation. When people do not understand sex addiction treatment they may see it as suspect or threatening in some way. This is most often based on very little direct knowledge or a misunderstanding of what they have heard.

The prejudice against sex addiction treatment is much like any other prejudice. It is constantly reinforced by other people who have the same prejudice and it breeds all kinds of misinformation about the feared group. These false beliefs serve to create further distance from that group of people and solidify the prejudice.

It is a scientific fact that when we hold an extreme view, one that is all the way at one end of the attitude scale, we are very bad at making discriminations about the attitudes of people who are at the other end of the scale. We lump the “others” together in an unexamined way. And the more polarized our attitude, the more forcefully we tend to believe it.


Sex Addiction Recovery Takes a Long Time– or Not

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

struggling with recoveryPeople seeking help for sex addiction are anxious to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are often stunned when I tell them that, even for those who are diligent and motivated, the whole process takes about 3 to 5 years.

Some practitioners might say that, like alcoholism, sex addiction is a chronic condition requiring continuous treatment for life to prevent relapse. I don’t think this is always the case. As I have argued elsewhere  I believe that sex addiction recovery is possible and lasting. At some point people can say “I am a recovered sex addict”.

And yet the actual process of getting to that point of solid and reliable recovery seems to take a determined effort over a period of years. There is one possible form of sex addiction which may be different, and I will discuss that further on.

The Six Stages of Sex Addiction Recovery


Making Friends with Your Inner Sex Addict

Monday, August 4th, 2014

Diversity in businessWe commonly think of our sex addict self as bad. And indeed the addict part of us does things that harm others and ourselves and that usually go against our deeply held values. We would like to distance ourselves from this part of us, to stamp it out.

In poetic language we think of the addict as a “dark passenger”. Clinically, we think of the addict behavior as a learned byproduct of early attachment injuries.

But in practice I believe that it is impossible to simply lock that evil twin in a closet or cut it out of us.


Using Polygraph Tests to Keep Sex Addicts Honest

Monday, July 21st, 2014

Costs Benefits Choices On Signpost Showing Analysis And Value Of An InvestmentAsking a sex addict to take a polygraph seemed ludicrous to me at first. First off, it seems like something you do with a criminal, not with a patient who has come in for help with a sexually compulsive behavior.


9 Good Reasons to Stay with a Sex Addict

Monday, July 7th, 2014

happy coupleI do not take sides on the issue of whether it is better to stay in a marriage or committed relationship with a sex addict or whether it is better to get away and start over.  I think there are many valid arguments on both sides depending on the situation.


The Inner World of a Sex Addict

Monday, June 30th, 2014

looking insideA reader asked how it feels for a sex addict to lead a double life. This is an interesting question and to some extent the answer is “It depends on the addict.”

New studies in progress using the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), The Millon Clinical Inventory and the Sexual Dependency Inventory suggest that different general types of sexually addictive behavior tend to clump together with different personality types or traits. These types vary from less to more severe.


Why is Institutional Betrayal so Traumatic?

Monday, June 2nd, 2014

Overworked - businesswoman with strong migraineSince the posting on psychcentral a year ago of the article called “Organizational Infidelity Amplifies Sexual Trauma“there has been a great deal of attention paid to the poor handling of sexual trauma by institutions such as universities, the military and the church.


A Troubled Past: When to Remember, When to Forget

Monday, May 5th, 2014

sweeping leavesWe often hear two conflicting messages about the painful events of the past.  Treatment for addiction and psychological problems involves remembering working through hurtful experiences.  At the same time it seems as if growth and change involve letting go of the past; forgiving, forgetting and moving on.


Sex Addicts Should Get Out of the Dog House

Monday, April 14th, 2014

Fell into profound sleepRebuilding a relationship after the upheaval of sex addiction is a slow process.  It demands a great deal from both the sex addict and the spouse or partner.


How to Divorce Your Toxic Relatives

Monday, April 7th, 2014

family dysfunctionMany people have relatives who are hazardous to their mental health.   In all family systems there are roles and expectations for each member.  And there are established rules, both spoken and unspoken.





Check Out Linda Hatch's books,
Relationships in Recovery & Living with a Sex Addict.


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Recent Comments
  • Diane Strickland: Kmf, what an insightful observation! That is why they do no seek help unless they are caught by the...
  • TPG: That self-definition thing for sex addiction is highly troubling. You said, “Like all addiction, sex...
  • KMF: “The addict who comes to treatment because of someone else’s value system will be unlikely to stick...
  • John: That is truly horrible and I would certainly consider that a form of abuse. I read this artice as I am a...
  • susangh: Thanks for sharing how different you feel on and off porn. Perhapsit will help me feel more forgiving of my...
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