For many sex addicts and partners the initial disclosure and crisis is followed if not by a rupture then by an uneasy peace. And that peace is often characterized by alienation and doubt and punctuated with flare ups and mistrust.
Much of the work for recovering sex addicts and for people generally involves understanding the roles we played in our family and the damage that may have been done to our sense of self. This is not always easy.
Do you go through anguish and self doubt about buying something you really want? Is it gruelingly hard for you to tell someone something they might not like to hear? We have a lot to learn about self deprivation from sex addicts. They live in a contradictory world,
Agnotology, the study of the production of ignorance
The Hiltzik article reports on the work of Robert Proctor, a history of science professor at Stanford specializing in what is called “Agnotology”, the study of the cultural production of ignorance. This is the investigation of the deliberate sowing of public misinformation and doubt in a scientific area. I of course saw an immediate application to what I have been calling the “sex addiction deniers”.
First, an important point to remember is that only those therapists who are already licensed or otherwise credentialed in their particular counseling field (e.g. psychologists, clinical social workers, marriage counselors, pastoral counselors) are eligible to enroll in the CSAT training.
The focus of traditional sex addiction-compulsivity treatment models tends to be on diagnosing and stopping specific sexual behaviors, or sexual sobriety (Carnes, P., 2001). From a treatment perspective, it is correct to implement behavioral containment and stop problematic behaviors.
I’m away this week and I will post again on 2/24, so for now my cat is holding down the fort. Truth in advertizing: my cat is a lousy therapist.
Bill Cosby once said “all cats do is shed on the rug and make you sneeze” but I think they do a lot more. My cat is entertaining, ornamental, and a good hunter. And I guess that’s what cats are for. Then too, I have read that petting a cat can lower your blood pressure.
I believe that sexual betrayal of the partners of sex addicts has a two-fold impact. It is both a trauma and a serious loss. The trauma that accompanies the discovery of sex addiction shakes the spouse or partner to the core.
Many sex addicts enter recovery with little or no ability to identify what it is they are feeling. I had one client say that he never used to know what his feelings were, that he used to think hunger was a feeling!