Archives for sexuality

General

New Study on Porn and Erectile Dysfunction is a Wax Banana

I chose the metaphor of fake fruit to describe the recent article by Prause and Pfaus entitled Viewing Sexual Stimuli Associated with Greater Sexual Responsiveness, Not Erectile Dysfunction. I did this not because of any phallic symbolism with bananas but because the authors present fake conclusions. Published in the online journal Sexual Medicine (04/2015; DOI: 10.1002/sm2.58) this article appears to offer a synthesis of findings from Prause's prior attempts at porn research.  On closer inspection the article turns out to be lacking in any real substance.

Continue Reading

General

If You Never Go Limp

I am impressed with the fact that men, the same men who are reluctant to have any fears or vulnerabilities, are all but obsessed with one persistent insecurity: their sexual potency. Normal men seem to be just this side of having a body dysmorphic disorder about their penis size and experience performance anxiety that is crippling enough to make them take ED drugs when they don't need them.

A recent NYTimes.com article (1/25/15) reported the data on men's Google searches which found that men make more Google searches about their penises than about any other body part, more than about their lungs, liver, feet , ears, nose, throat and brain combined.
Continue Reading

General

The 10 Biggest Myths about Sex Addiction Treatment

These 10 things are not so much myths as they are distortions born of fear and misinformation. When people do not understand sex addiction treatment they may see it as suspect or threatening in some way. This is most often based on very little direct knowledge or a misunderstanding of what they have heard.

The prejudice against sex addiction treatment is much like any other prejudice. It is constantly reinforced by other people who have the same prejudice and it breeds all kinds of misinformation about the feared group. These false beliefs serve to create further distance from that group of people and solidify the prejudice.

It is a scientific fact that when we hold an extreme view, one that is all the way at one end of the attitude scale, we are very bad at making discriminations about the attitudes of people who are at the other end of the scale. We lump the "others" together in an unexamined way. And the more polarized our attitude, the more forcefully we tend to believe it.

Continue Reading

General

Sex Addiction Recovery Takes a Long Time– or Not

People seeking help for sex addiction are anxious to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are often stunned when I tell them that, even for those who are diligent and motivated, the whole process takes about 3 to 5 years.

Some practitioners might say that, like alcoholism, sex addiction is a chronic condition requiring continuous treatment for life to prevent relapse. I don't think this is always the case. As I have argued elsewhere  I believe that sex addiction recovery is possible and lasting. At some point people can say "I am a recovered sex addict".

And yet the actual process of getting to that point of solid and reliable recovery seems to take a determined effort over a period of years. There is one possible form of sex addiction which may be different, and I will discuss that further on.

The Six Stages of Sex Addiction Recovery

Continue Reading

Diagnosis

Voyeurism: What it is and What it isn’t

Most sex addicts, no matter what their behaviors consist in (prostitutes, anonymous sex, serial seductions, pornography etc.) will tend to sexualize other people they look at. You might say that sex addicts view the world through sex colored glasses. But this does not mean that they are voyeurs.

Voyeurism is a distinct category of behavior that characterizes certain sex addicts.  And although most people who identify as sex addicts have more than one type of behavior, research by Patrick Carnes and others found that there were 10 distinguishable types or clusters of addictive behavior of which voyeurism was one.

Continue Reading