sexuality Articles

New Study on Porn and Erectile Dysfunction is a Wax Banana

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

man in black shirt looking at laptop with wide eyes openI chose the metaphor of fake fruit to describe the recent article by Prause and Pfaus entitled Viewing Sexual Stimuli Associated with Greater Sexual Responsiveness, Not Erectile Dysfunction. I did this not because of any phallic symbolism with bananas but because the authors present fake conclusions. Published in the online journal Sexual Medicine (04/2015; DOI: 10.1002/sm2.58) this article appears to offer a synthesis of findings from Prause’s prior attempts at porn research.  On closer inspection the article turns out to be lacking in any real substance.


Sadistic Sex: Orientation, Addiction or Lifestyle?

Wednesday, March 18th, 2015

handcuffs and roseThe mother of a 15 year old boy recently reached out to one of my colleagues for advice regarding her son’s seemingly out-of-control preoccupation with kinky sex and highly sadistic pornography. (This boy was described as bright, poopular and high functioning). The response among my fellow clinicians was mixed.


If You Never Go Limp

Monday, February 23rd, 2015

Worried man in bedroomI am impressed with the fact that men, the same men who are reluctant to have any fears or vulnerabilities, are all but obsessed with one persistent insecurity: their sexual potency. Normal men seem to be just this side of having a body dysmorphic disorder about their penis size and experience performance anxiety that is crippling enough to make them take ED drugs when they don’t need them.

A recent NYTimes.com article (1/25/15) reported the data on men’s Google searches which found that men make more Google searches about their penises than about any other body part, more than about their lungs, liver, feet , ears, nose, throat and brain combined.


Narcissists Watch More Porn: Enter Eroticized Rage

Monday, January 12th, 2015

narcissists watch more pornAn intriguing new study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that the more narcissistic people were, the more internet pornography they watched. For both men and women ranging in age from 18 to 61 years, those who watched more porn scored higher on tests of general narcissism and sexual narcissism.


The 10 Biggest Myths about Sex Addiction Treatment

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

Unhappy couple on psychotherapy sessionThese 10 things are not so much myths as they are distortions born of fear and misinformation. When people do not understand sex addiction treatment they may see it as suspect or threatening in some way. This is most often based on very little direct knowledge or a misunderstanding of what they have heard.

The prejudice against sex addiction treatment is much like any other prejudice. It is constantly reinforced by other people who have the same prejudice and it breeds all kinds of misinformation about the feared group. These false beliefs serve to create further distance from that group of people and solidify the prejudice.

It is a scientific fact that when we hold an extreme view, one that is all the way at one end of the attitude scale, we are very bad at making discriminations about the attitudes of people who are at the other end of the scale. We lump the “others” together in an unexamined way. And the more polarized our attitude, the more forcefully we tend to believe it.


Sex Addiction Recovery Takes a Long Time– or Not

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

struggling with recoveryPeople seeking help for sex addiction are anxious to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are often stunned when I tell them that, even for those who are diligent and motivated, the whole process takes about 3 to 5 years.

Some practitioners might say that, like alcoholism, sex addiction is a chronic condition requiring continuous treatment for life to prevent relapse. I don’t think this is always the case. As I have argued elsewhere  I believe that sex addiction recovery is possible and lasting. At some point people can say “I am a recovered sex addict”.

And yet the actual process of getting to that point of solid and reliable recovery seems to take a determined effort over a period of years. There is one possible form of sex addiction which may be different, and I will discuss that further on.

The Six Stages of Sex Addiction Recovery


Voyeurism: What it is and What it isn’t

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

voyeurMost sex addicts, no matter what their behaviors consist in (prostitutes, anonymous sex, serial seductions, pornography etc.) will tend to sexualize other people they look at. You might say that sex addicts view the world through sex colored glasses. But this does not mean that they are voyeurs.

Voyeurism is a distinct category of behavior that characterizes certain sex addicts.  And although most people who identify as sex addicts have more than one type of behavior, research by Patrick Carnes and others found that there were 10 distinguishable types or clusters of addictive behavior of which voyeurism was one.


When is Flirting a Sign of Sexual Addiction?

Monday, May 26th, 2014

young man and wemen at the barFlirting is a normal part of life. Not only is it enjoyable, it is a healthy part of courtship. And yet flirting is problem for a large proportion of the sex addict patients I see, I’m guessing maybe a third or more of them.


Are Sex Addicts a Danger to Children? What to Look For

Monday, March 17th, 2014

Cheerful friendsIf you are a family member of a sex addict or of a recovering sex addict, or if you are dating a sex addict, you may have concerns about whether that person poses a danger to children.


Dissociation: A Crucial Problem for Sex Addiction Treatment

Thursday, March 6th, 2014

scream i do not hear youWe have always known that recovery from sex addiction involved regaining integrity. By this we usually mean that practicing sex addicts typically have a secret life. They are the all-around good guy as they move about the world and they become their darker, secret self when they are acting out sexually.

 





Check Out Linda Hatch's books,
Relationships in Recovery & Living with a Sex Addict.


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