Relationships Articles

Sex Addiction Recovery Takes a Long Time– or Not

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

struggling with recoveryPeople seeking help for sex addiction are anxious to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are often stunned when I tell them that, even for those who are diligent and motivated, the whole process takes about 3 to 5 years.

Some practitioners might say that, like alcoholism, sex addiction is a chronic condition requiring continuous treatment for life to prevent relapse. I don’t think this is always the case. As I have argued elsewhere  I believe that sex addiction recovery is possible and lasting. At some point people can say “I am a recovered sex addict”.

And yet the actual process of getting to that point of solid and reliable recovery seems to take a determined effort over a period of years. There is one possible form of sex addiction which may be different, and I will discuss that further on.

The Six Stages of Sex Addiction Recovery


4 Types of Subtle Manipulation

Monday, September 1st, 2014

feeling manipulatedManipulation can be very subtle. We often talk about how manipulative addicts are. And in particular we talk about how sex addicts manipulate others in order to avoid discovery, throw their partner off the scent and “gaslight” their partners. In gaslighting, a term taken from the 1944 movie Gaslight, a person controls another person by finding ways to make them think that they are imagining things or that they are actually delusional.


Using Polygraph Tests to Keep Sex Addicts Honest

Monday, July 21st, 2014

Costs Benefits Choices On Signpost Showing Analysis And Value Of An InvestmentAsking a sex addict to take a polygraph seemed ludicrous to me at first. First off, it seems like something you do with a criminal, not with a patient who has come in for help with a sexually compulsive behavior.


Leaving a Sex Addict: 5 Frequently Asked Questions

Wednesday, July 16th, 2014

Businessman Chasing His WomanDivorce is always a big adjustment and often carries with it a period of grief and other strong emotions. But breaking up with a sex addict brings its own strange set of challenges.


9 Good Reasons to Stay with a Sex Addict

Monday, July 7th, 2014

happy coupleI do not take sides on the issue of whether it is better to stay in a marriage or committed relationship with a sex addict or whether it is better to get away and start over.  I think there are many valid arguments on both sides depending on the situation.


The Inner World of a Sex Addict

Monday, June 30th, 2014

looking insideA reader asked how it feels for a sex addict to lead a double life. This is an interesting question and to some extent the answer is “It depends on the addict.”

New studies in progress using the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), The Millon Clinical Inventory and the Sexual Dependency Inventory suggest that different general types of sexually addictive behavior tend to clump together with different personality types or traits. These types vary from less to more severe.


4 Tips to Avoid Picking an Addict

Monday, June 9th, 2014

Man shaking woman handI was starting a romantic relationship a while back with a guy I liked a lot. I was talking to a friend about it and the friend said “how does he get along with your dog?” This was a striking question at the time because the guy, as nice as he seemed, didn’t relate to the dog at all! As it turned out I should have trusted my friend– and the dog.


When is Flirting a Sign of Sexual Addiction?

Monday, May 26th, 2014

young man and wemen at the barFlirting is a normal part of life. Not only is it enjoyable, it is a healthy part of courtship. And yet flirting is problem for a large proportion of the sex addict patients I see, I’m guessing maybe a third or more of them.


5 Signs you are Involved with a Narcissist

Monday, April 21st, 2014

narcissismBasically you can’t get close to a narcissist.  A relationship with a narcissist will be a problem, and the more narcissistic they are the more it becomes impossible.

Sex addicts and addicts generally are often described as narcissistic, but many non-addicts are narcissists as well.  Trying to have a relationship with a true narcissist can be an extremely tortuous and confusing experience.


Sex Addicts Should Get Out of the Dog House

Monday, April 14th, 2014

Fell into profound sleepRebuilding a relationship after the upheaval of sex addiction is a slow process.  It demands a great deal from both the sex addict and the spouse or partner.





Check Out Linda Hatch's books,
Relationships in Recovery & Living with a Sex Addict.


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  • John Derry: Thank you for this comprehensive yet concise overview of an important topic often misunderstood and...
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