Recovery Articles

4 Types of Subtle Manipulation

Monday, September 1st, 2014

feeling manipulatedManipulation can be very subtle. We often talk about how manipulative addicts are. And in particular we talk about how sex addicts manipulate others in order to avoid discovery, throw their partner off the scent and “gaslight” their partners. In gaslighting, a term taken from the 1944 movie Gaslight, a person controls another person by finding ways to make them think that they are imagining things or that they are actually delusional.


Making Friends with Your Inner Sex Addict

Monday, August 4th, 2014

Diversity in businessWe commonly think of our sex addict self as bad. And indeed the addict part of us does things that harm others and ourselves and that usually go against our deeply held values. We would like to distance ourselves from this part of us, to stamp it out.

In poetic language we think of the addict as a “dark passenger”. Clinically, we think of the addict behavior as a learned byproduct of early attachment injuries.

But in practice I believe that it is impossible to simply lock that evil twin in a closet or cut it out of us.


Using Polygraph Tests to Keep Sex Addicts Honest

Monday, July 21st, 2014

Costs Benefits Choices On Signpost Showing Analysis And Value Of An InvestmentAsking a sex addict to take a polygraph seemed ludicrous to me at first. First off, it seems like something you do with a criminal, not with a patient who has come in for help with a sexually compulsive behavior.


9 Good Reasons to Stay with a Sex Addict

Monday, July 7th, 2014

happy coupleI do not take sides on the issue of whether it is better to stay in a marriage or committed relationship with a sex addict or whether it is better to get away and start over.  I think there are many valid arguments on both sides depending on the situation.


The Inner World of a Sex Addict

Monday, June 30th, 2014

looking insideA reader asked how it feels for a sex addict to lead a double life. This is an interesting question and to some extent the answer is “It depends on the addict.”

New studies in progress using the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), The Millon Clinical Inventory and the Sexual Dependency Inventory suggest that different general types of sexually addictive behavior tend to clump together with different personality types or traits. These types vary from less to more severe.


Why is Institutional Betrayal so Traumatic?

Monday, June 2nd, 2014

Overworked - businesswoman with strong migraineSince the posting on psychcentral a year ago of the article called “Organizational Infidelity Amplifies Sexual Trauma“there has been a great deal of attention paid to the poor handling of sexual trauma by institutions such as universities, the military and the church.


5 Surprising Ways to Make More Time in Your Day

Monday, May 12th, 2014

lovely girl with a mug of coffeeGetting pulled in all different directions, putting out fires, dealing with one problem after another—pretty soon the day is gone.  Many of us can’t find time to work on our own growth and recovery because obligations, decisions, and all kinds of distractions crowd into our awareness and fill up our time before we know it.


A Troubled Past: When to Remember, When to Forget

Monday, May 5th, 2014

sweeping leavesWe often hear two conflicting messages about the painful events of the past.  Treatment for addiction and psychological problems involves remembering working through hurtful experiences.  At the same time it seems as if growth and change involve letting go of the past; forgiving, forgetting and moving on.


Sex Addicts Should Get Out of the Dog House

Monday, April 14th, 2014

Fell into profound sleepRebuilding a relationship after the upheaval of sex addiction is a slow process.  It demands a great deal from both the sex addict and the spouse or partner.


How to Divorce Your Toxic Relatives

Monday, April 7th, 2014

family dysfunctionMany people have relatives who are hazardous to their mental health.   In all family systems there are roles and expectations for each member.  And there are established rules, both spoken and unspoken.





Check Out Linda Hatch's books,
Relationships in Recovery & Living with a Sex Addict.


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Recent Comments
  • Frictionluvr: I consider myself straight but in reality im bisexual. My interest in other men is purely physical witb...
  • Tania Rochelle: “Someone who resorts to manipulation is doing so as a way to stay safe. Often the manipulator...
  • Noni: I would like to add something to Teri’s comment above. Besides being a partner of a sex addict, I am also...
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  • AMP: These responses are inspiring and Dr. Minwalla and the trauma model are our only hope for our daughters and...
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