Recovery Articles

No Higher Power? No Problem

Monday, October 6th, 2014

Silhouette of a beatiful female meditating on a rock by the seaPerhaps you feel stalled out by the spiritual aspect of 12-step programs, all that religious sounding stuff. But before you go out and find a new variation on the 12 steps, one that has been purged of all references to a higher power consider this proposition. Spirituality is something we are born with. We don’t so much acquire it as we discover it as it pops up in the course of our day and as it weaves in and out of our lives at different times.

I was complaining to a friend that my husband wasn’t very spiritual. My friend said that I just needed to look for where his spirituality was. I started thinking about the whole process by which I and my clients and people in recovery look for and find their “spiritual awakening.” Here are some of my own ideas about what it all means.


Sex Addiction Recovery Takes a Long Time– or Not

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

struggling with recoveryPeople seeking help for sex addiction are anxious to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are often stunned when I tell them that, even for those who are diligent and motivated, the whole process takes about 3 to 5 years.

Some practitioners might say that, like alcoholism, sex addiction is a chronic condition requiring continuous treatment for life to prevent relapse. I don’t think this is always the case. As I have argued elsewhere  I believe that sex addiction recovery is possible and lasting. At some point people can say “I am a recovered sex addict”.

And yet the actual process of getting to that point of solid and reliable recovery seems to take a determined effort over a period of years. There is one possible form of sex addiction which may be different, and I will discuss that further on.

The Six Stages of Sex Addiction Recovery


4 Types of Subtle Manipulation

Monday, September 1st, 2014

feeling manipulatedManipulation can be very subtle. We often talk about how manipulative addicts are. And in particular we talk about how sex addicts manipulate others in order to avoid discovery, throw their partner off the scent and “gaslight” their partners. In gaslighting, a term taken from the 1944 movie Gaslight, a person controls another person by finding ways to make them think that they are imagining things or that they are actually delusional.


Making Friends with Your Inner Sex Addict

Monday, August 4th, 2014

Diversity in businessWe commonly think of our sex addict self as bad. And indeed the addict part of us does things that harm others and ourselves and that usually go against our deeply held values. We would like to distance ourselves from this part of us, to stamp it out.

In poetic language we think of the addict as a “dark passenger”. Clinically, we think of the addict behavior as a learned byproduct of early attachment injuries.

But in practice I believe that it is impossible to simply lock that evil twin in a closet or cut it out of us.


Using Polygraph Tests to Keep Sex Addicts Honest

Monday, July 21st, 2014

Costs Benefits Choices On Signpost Showing Analysis And Value Of An InvestmentAsking a sex addict to take a polygraph seemed ludicrous to me at first. First off, it seems like something you do with a criminal, not with a patient who has come in for help with a sexually compulsive behavior.


9 Good Reasons to Stay with a Sex Addict

Monday, July 7th, 2014

happy coupleI do not take sides on the issue of whether it is better to stay in a marriage or committed relationship with a sex addict or whether it is better to get away and start over.  I think there are many valid arguments on both sides depending on the situation.


The Inner World of a Sex Addict

Monday, June 30th, 2014

looking insideA reader asked how it feels for a sex addict to lead a double life. This is an interesting question and to some extent the answer is “It depends on the addict.”

New studies in progress using the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), The Millon Clinical Inventory and the Sexual Dependency Inventory suggest that different general types of sexually addictive behavior tend to clump together with different personality types or traits. These types vary from less to more severe.


Why is Institutional Betrayal so Traumatic?

Monday, June 2nd, 2014

Overworked - businesswoman with strong migraineSince the posting on psychcentral a year ago of the article called “Organizational Infidelity Amplifies Sexual Trauma“there has been a great deal of attention paid to the poor handling of sexual trauma by institutions such as universities, the military and the church.


5 Surprising Ways to Make More Time in Your Day

Monday, May 12th, 2014

lovely girl with a mug of coffeeGetting pulled in all different directions, putting out fires, dealing with one problem after another—pretty soon the day is gone.  Many of us can’t find time to work on our own growth and recovery because obligations, decisions, and all kinds of distractions crowd into our awareness and fill up our time before we know it.


A Troubled Past: When to Remember, When to Forget

Monday, May 5th, 2014

sweeping leavesWe often hear two conflicting messages about the painful events of the past.  Treatment for addiction and psychological problems involves remembering working through hurtful experiences.  At the same time it seems as if growth and change involve letting go of the past; forgiving, forgetting and moving on.





Check Out Linda Hatch's books,
Relationships in Recovery & Living with a Sex Addict.


Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • John: That is truly horrible and I would certainly consider that a form of abuse. I read this artice as I am a...
  • susangh: Thanks for sharing how different you feel on and off porn. Perhapsit will help me feel more forgiving of my...
  • susangh: In addition to having an 12 year online porn habit at work, my husband also hid from me his hours of...
  • susangh: I find myself in a community college A & P class, a course in addiction and about $500 in books from...
  • TPG: Sounds like bisexuality. It’s fine. A certified and non-judgmental sex therapist with a degree in clinical...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!