You can make the art of listening work for you in your recovery. Practicing real listening gives us a chance to practice basic recovery skills.
Addicts and people with intimacy issues are not particularly good at listening to other people. Really listening to someone demands a level of awareness and a kind of attending that every addict needs to acquire.
Why listening is like love
When you really listen to someone it means that the person you are listening to is more important at that moment than any other need, opinion, motivation or preoccupation you might have. That person is, for that time, the center of your attention and of your universe.
This is true whether you are in a relationship with the person or whether you never saw them before in your life.
When you make someone the center of your attention in this way the other person is likely to sense that you are giving totally of yourself. In a way you have let go of your own sense of separateness and immersed yourself in them.
The recovery skills involved in listening
Listening as spiritual practice
The result of practicing the art of listening helps the listener. When we listen we are able to be mindful, to be accepting, to let go of outcomes, to be authentic and to be empathic. Paying attention to someone or something in this way connects us to our fellow beings.
What do you do after you have listened? Listening may be all that you do if no response is required. But if you have really listened then what you say or don’t say will be likely to make the other person feel more connected and present as well. Find Dr. Hatch on Facebook at Sex Addictions Counseling or Twitter @SAResource
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Best of Our Blogs: April 16, 2013 | World of Psychology (April 16, 2013)
Last reviewed: 15 Apr 2013