nunIt’s being said already and school has barely begun. Parents have met their kid’s teachers, whether in elementary school or high school, and formed their opinions. It is difficult to keep these opinions quiet, and so many parents complain about the teachers in front of their kids. Parents make statements like “I can’t stand her” or “he’s too hard on them.” There may be times to take a stand on the teaching style or personality of the teacher; however, here are some reasons that it may not be such a good idea.

-Does the child or teen think their teacher is mean and unfair? This is perfect training for life. We don’t choose our boss at our jobs or the rules that are made there that we need to follow. Complaining about it may be enticing and a way to pass the time during lunch, but is not useful. Complaining by itself doesn’t accomplish much, and can distract the student from being as invested as they could be in the classroom.

-When parents make judgments about the teachers that excuse the kid’s behavior, such as doing poorly on exams, not turning in assignments, or not behaving properly during class, it enables behaviors that will not help with learning or gaining maturity. Even when we think the rules are unfair, we still need to follow them. It takes maturity to take full responsibility for one’s own behavior without placing blame on another. No one likes to be around that person at work who has 50 excuses for why they couldn’t perform or complete their work. Let’s help our kids avoid becoming that person. When parents create an environment that’s sympathetic to the poor behavior of the child, it may be intended to be supportive, but may also cause the child to miss the opportunity for a good learning experience.

-If the teacher truly is unfair, pointing it out is not the problem. It may even be helpful to make the situation less confusing. But, unless you are pulling your child from the classroom, they will be spending the next 10 months there. In that case, helping the child to focus on what is fair, finding ways to appreciate the teacher they have, and ways to make the situation work, is a skill they will use over and over again throughout life.

No one wants to be unhappy with the teacher their child has. Parents want their children to have a positive experience in school, with their children being respected and appreciated. Parents don’t choose the teachers their children will have, but they can control how they help their children deal with their situation. By keeping complaints to a minimum and focusing on what can be done about the situation, parents can support their child in a way that can help them learn from their experience. Even better, kids will learn that they are capable of being successful within a variety of situations, even ones they don’t like.

Nun with a ruler image available from Shutterstock.



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    Last reviewed: 5 Sep 2013

APA Reference
Anonymous. (2013). I hate my kid’s teacher!. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 28, 2015, from



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