The Neuroscience of Divisive Labels: One Poet’s Protest — “I’m NOT Black, You are NOT White”

Really moved by this video clip (on Oprah's network OWN) of a poem, I Am NOT Black, You Are NOT White by Prince Ea (a spoken word artist who is drawing millions of visitors, with his rap on topics of  social relationships, politics, environment, and life in general).

While an invitation to "not see race" is typically a position associated with the group promoting status quo (hierarchical) relations, in this spoken masterpiece, Prince Ea brings us a fresh perspective on labels, reflecting on their intentional use to install limiting "we versus them" beliefs.

It has "worked perfectly," he notes,...
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Addictive Relating

The Neuroscience of Why a Child is a Model Citizen, 2 of 2

Luis Sarabia via Compfight

In Part 1 we looked at better understanding the behavior of a child who is a model citizen everywhere but home by examining what inner strivings, or emotion-drives, the child is attempting to meet in each situation. In this post, the two areas below pertain to questions of how thoughts drive behaviors.
2. What beliefs (or thoughts) does the child's behavior say the child has learned to hold regarding how to best fulfill their core...
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Addictive Relating

The Neuroscience of Why a Child Is a Model Citizen — Everywhere But Home, 1 of 2

Patrick via Compfight

It can be baffling. How can the same child who is a model citizen at school or when visiting friends, etc., be so explosive or difficult to handle at home?

One client described this as follows:
"My 9 year old daughter gets angry at the drop of a hat. She yells, screams, throws things, slams doors, and accuses me of being mean, selfish, or hating her, or all of the above. When I try to explain why...
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Addictive Relating

20 Situations in Which a Man Tends to “Gaslight” a Woman (To Get Her to Think She’s Crazy)

It's not usual for a woman to hear the words "you're crazy" from the man in her life.

Don't believe it for a moment, says Bashar Ali in a recent article, A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not “Crazy."

Of course most women know it's not “crazy" to want closeness or to express hurt feelings, at least deep down; it's refreshing however to read an article written by a member of the male sex talking about his own...
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Conscious Lifestyle

10 Affirmations and Inspirational Quotes for New Beginnings Each Day and Year!

Happy New Year to you and yours!

(Or, if you prefer, Happy First Day of the Rest of Your Life)!

In either case, why not make it an inspiring one?

Start this New Year, and each day in it, with affirming thoughts and words that have amazing powers to refresh and literally restore balance in the neurochemistry of your brain and body, mind and heart!

This shouldn't be surprising, considering that human beings are hardwired to have an intimate relationship with words. That's right. You and language...
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Addictive Relating

Tactics of Stonewalling and Gas Lighting, What Are They? How Do They Differ? 1 of 2

As defensive approaches to communication, stonewalling and gas lighting share a few common traits.

They both: (1) block healthy communication between two persons; (2) are indirect attempts to gain the love or cooperation or attention of the other; and (3) erode or prevent the couple from deepening their connection to one another.

They are distinctly different, however, although one may use stonewalling without gas lighting, gas lighting often includes stonewalling elements.

What distinguishes one from the other is their...
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Emotional Mastery

A New Year’s Gift: Four Realities In “Re-Storying” Your Life to Realize Your Goals and Dreams

The cusp a New Year is a great time to reflect, and yes to dream big, connecting to your heart’s deepest yearnings -- what you want to see, create and choose to bring ever closer into your life in the coming year.

Setting goals is great exercise, proven to make a difference, especially if you use research-based approaches, such as setting “smart" goals. There’s another exercise to consider, however: Re-storying "the story" of your life....
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Emotional Mastery

14 Tips to Survive — and Enjoy — the Holidays

The holidays can be stressful, but they don't have to be unnecessarily so! Remember, you always have a choice to create more peace of mind by accessing inner power to conscious pay attention to what you're focusing on with your thoughts.  This involves clarifying what you most value, and cultivating the practice of disallowing things of less value to compete. It can be fun!

Here are a few tips:
Make meaningful moments by letting go of...
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