Addictive Relating

20 Situations in Which a Man Tends to “Gaslight” a Woman (To Get Her to Think She’s Crazy)


It's not usual for a woman to hear the words "you're crazy" from the man in her life.

Don't believe it for a moment, says Bashar Ali in a recent article, A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not “Crazy."

Of course most women know it's not “crazy" to want closeness or to express hurt feelings, at least deep down; it's refreshing however to read an article written by a member of the male sex talking about his own...
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Conscious Lifestyle

10 Affirmations and Inspirational Quotes for New Beginnings Each Day and Year!



Happy New Year to you and yours!

(Or, if you prefer, Happy First Day of the Rest of Your Life)!

In either case, why not make it an inspiring one?

Start this New Year, and each day in it, with affirming thoughts and words that have amazing powers to refresh and literally restore balance in the neurochemistry of your brain and body, mind and heart!

This shouldn't be surprising, considering that human beings are hardwired to have an intimate relationship with words. That's right. You and language...
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Addictive Relating

Tactics of Stonewalling and Gas Lighting, What Are They? How Do They Differ? 1 of 2

As defensive approaches to communication, stonewalling and gas lighting share a few common traits.

They both: (1) block healthy communication between two persons; (2) are indirect attempts to gain the love or cooperation or attention of the other; and (3) erode or prevent the couple from deepening their connection to one another.

They are distinctly different, however, although one may use stonewalling without gas lighting, gas lighting often includes stonewalling elements.

What distinguishes one from the other is their...
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Emotional Mastery

A New Year’s Gift: Four Realities In “Re-Storying” Your Life to Realize Your Goals and Dreams



The cusp a New Year is a great time to reflect, and yes to dream big, connecting to your heart’s deepest yearnings -- what you want to see, create and choose to bring ever closer into your life in the coming year.

Setting goals is great exercise, proven to make a difference, especially if you use research-based approaches, such as setting “smart" goals. There’s another exercise to consider, however: Re-storying "the story" of your life....
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Emotional Mastery

14 Tips to Survive — and Enjoy — the Holidays

The holidays can be stressful, but they don't have to be unnecessarily so! Remember, you always have a choice to create more peace of mind by accessing inner power to conscious pay attention to what you're focusing on with your thoughts.  This involves clarifying what you most value, and cultivating the practice of disallowing things of less value to compete. It can be fun!

Here are a few tips:
Make meaningful moments by letting go of...
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Conscious Lifestyle

7 Tips to Become a Highly Effective Listener

Do you want to enhance or repair a relationship with someone you love? Be known as a good leader at work? Listening is the key.

Here are 7 tips to cultivate your listening ability, and become highly effective in building rapport:
1. Breathe
Concentrate on your breath; this connects your mind and body and helps you listen mindfully with your senses, more fully engaged, therefore taking in more information, such as the other person's...
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Addictive Relating

Self-Forgiveness: Checklists for Partners Seeking to Heal From Infidelity

When infidelity occurs, though the betrayed partner should not feel pressured to forgive, ultimately, forgiving is a key step to restoring their own sense of safety, peace of mind, hope and belief, ultimately, love and joy. Genuine forgiveness however is a series of steps, only possible when the partner that was unfaithful fully owns responsibility for their wrongful actions, and takes the lead to reconcile and steer the relationship to a safe harbor. (See post that outlines differences between "
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Addictive Relating

Restoring Safety: A Letter in Response to the Unfaithful Partner, 2 of 2

In Part 1 a letter template was included for one partner to write to the loved one they betrayed with infidelity. This post presents a letter for the betrayed partner to write in response.

While only one of many critical, the letter serves as an acknowledgement that the betrayed partner must also play an active role in opening their heart to essential processes for healing themselves, their relationship ... and yes, even the partner who betrayed them. The last part is...
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Addictive Relating

Rebuilding Trust: A Letter to Help Heal Your Relationship After Infidelity, 1 of 2

Informed by clinical research, as well as examples from the author's practice and personal experience, in the book After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, , an expert on issues of trust, fidelity, and forgiveness, outlines specific steps partners can take to heal their relationship, and rather than give in to despair, grow and thrive as individuals and partners from the shattering crisis of infidelity.

One...
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Addictive Relating

What Is and Isn’t Narcissism: 3 Key Identifiers, 2 of 5

Many articles of late describe a narcissist as someone "in love" with themselves, absorbed with activities that promote their success, dreams and goals, skilled at charming others, attention seeking, and so on. Though a narcissist may exhibit these traits, and be charming, charismatic, successful and goal-oriented ... let's get real.

These characteristics, in and of themselves, are also essential human traits and, in varying degrees, describe behaviors of healthy persons who are driven to succeed in their careers at work or home,...
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