Awareness is key when it comes to living – and loving – authentically. A key aspect of awareness is getting to know, and understand your self and life around you, and one thing that involves is being aware of what triggers you.
To live in balance and harmony in your relationships, you need to know how to calm your mind and body, to feel safe enough to set judicious limits in your interactions with others, for example, to say or hear the words ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without getting triggered.
The first step in setting limits is identifying the specific situations that challenge or trigger you when it comes to either standing up for yourself with courage and, or doing so in a way that treats the other (thus also your self) with dignity.
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Good article and so helpful in identifying triggers…..now to work on them!
Thanks for stopping by to share feedback, Janet!
Tony
6:41 pm on
January 16th, 2012Hello!
I do not feel guilty at any of the issues you stated above and I do not know any other (or can imagine one).
You said:
” I feel guilty when …
“I see look of disappointment on a loved one’s face”
“I’m asked to do something and do not want to”
“I say no”
“I notice someone I care about looks angry”
“I get angry and say hurtful things”
“Others do more than I do”
“A loved one looks hurt or unhappy”
”
I am ready to cooperate or correct the situation here, but in no way I feel guilt.
Is this a bad thing?
Can you enter into more details here, please?
Why should guilt be here in first place? I might have been (doing) wrong here, but if I realize that, I am ready to rectify my wrong.
Well, sometimes I do not admit that I was doing wrond, even I am told so (in my opinion I was right).
Is guilt necesary?
Thanks for the interesting questions, Tony. On the one hand, if none of the responses ‘fit’ under ‘feeling guilty’ it may be that guilt is not a triggering emotion for you. You didn’t say whether you checked situations that triggered you in the other categories. On the other hand, if you admit to having difficulties saying when you’re wrong (it’s human to make mistakes, remember…) and others have complained about this, you may want to check into your ‘empathy’ skills. This is the ability to understand and have compassion for what others are feeling. Look online for quick assessments or quizzes. Empathy is a vital emotion, and a strength, without which our relationships feel distant, and essential to build ‘emotional intimacy’ with self and others.
In response to your last question, in my opinion, guilt is not necessary – unless one defines guilt as being ‘conscientious’ (and some psychologists do), which of course is essential, an ‘empathic’ response of caring and being thoughtful of others feelings.
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