Archives for Your Brain

Conscious Lifestyle

7 Questions to Deepen Your Conversations and Relationship, 2 of 2


Continuing from Part 1, here are four more key questions that invite couples to deepen their relationship and conversations. The questions were adapted from an article by inspirational poet, David Whyte, titled 10 Questions That Have No Right to Go Away.

The four questions are as follows:
4. Do I know how to be present in the moment, yet also remain connected to what I've learned from past experiences ... as...
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Conscious Lifestyle

7 Questions to Deepen Your Conversations and Relationship, 1 of 2

An inspiring poet and lecturer in areas, among others, of psychology and business leadership, David Whyte notes in his article, 10 Questions, that certain questions, the ones that have to do with the person we are becoming, should be held dear to our heart, as much or more than good answers.

Why? Because questions guide the internal conversations we have with ourselves, and others, and thus not only shape our identity, but also our behavior patterns...
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Addictive Relating

3 Secrets to Outsmarting a Narcissist (By Not Trying to)


Is it possible to outsmart a narcissist? Perhaps, but only if you're willing to downgrade your standards to act like one.

Admittedly, this post began with a trick question! The point was to say, first, why would you want to? And also, that taking that approach can be trap! This post explains why.

The narcissist has a wounded ego, and the suffering they cause is a projection of the inner suffering and wounds they avoid. Their greatest fear is to...
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Addictive Relating

7 Ways to Repel (Rather Than Attract) a Narcissist

It's not uncommon, once a person experiences a relationship with a narcissist, to vehemently want to avoid or prevent a repeat.

So what best guarantees a relationship will not turn into a dance of codependency and narcissism?

In part, success has to do with identifying certain red flags that help you understand what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is, a few secret insights into a narcissist's worldview, and what codependency traits unwittingly supply energy to narcissism.

What best repels narcissism, however, has to do with certain practices that persons who are committed...
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Addictive Relating

Codependency and Narcissism: 10 Similar-Yet-Distinct Patterns

On the surface the dance of narcissism and codependency seems to be between two complete opposites; and, in many ways, they are. To see what's really happening in a couple relationship with these dynamics, however, it helps to look at 10 similar yet distinct patterns in their dance steps.

An awareness of these patterns gives us a glimpse of what is really going on to keep both addicted, and stuck repeating the same old dance...
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Addictive Relating

What Draws Partners to a Dance of Codependency and Narcissism?


The dance of codependency and narcissism begins when two opposite, distinctly off-balance behavior patterns, attract one another.

At first, it seems a perfect union.

When they pair up, initially, there is an illusion of a dance team that would put Fred and Ginger on the sidelines. Each feels they’ve found a suitable dance partner that most promises to help them realize the fulfillment they each seek from the relationship, that is: to feel worthy and alive.

While these innermost yearnings are realistic and healthy, their expectations...
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Addictive Relating

What It Means When a Narcissist Says “I Love You”

Dear Codependent Partner,

What I'm about to say is not something I'd ever say or admit (to you), because to do so would end the winner-takes-all-game that is my main source of pleasure in life -- one that effectively keeps you carrying my load in our relationship.

And that's the whole point.

When I say “I love you” I mean that I love how hard you work to make me feel like your everything, that I am the focus of your life,...
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Addictive Relating

The Neuroscience of Why a Child is a Model Citizen, 2 of 2

Luis Sarabia via Compfight

In Part 1 we looked at better understanding the behavior of a child who is a model citizen everywhere but home by examining what inner strivings, or emotion-drives, the child is attempting to meet in each situation. In this post, the two areas below pertain to questions of how thoughts drive behaviors.
2. What beliefs (or thoughts) does the child's behavior say the child has learned to hold regarding how to best fulfill their core...
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