Archives for Subconscious Mind

Addictive Relating

Three Basics of Working (Mindfully) with a Narcissist in Therapy: A Balancing Act, 1 of 5

In response to a recent post, How to Identify a Narcissist in Therapy, several readers requested a follow up post that outlines a few essentials of working with a client who presents with narcissistic "tendencies" or npd (narcissistic personality disorder) in couples or family therapy, so as to disarm or minimize the potentially destabilizing effects of these problematic behaviors both in the sessions themselves -- and on therapeutic processes and outcomes in general. Other readers also wanted to know...
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Addictive Relating

How to Identify a Narcissist In Family or Couples Counseling

How does a therapist identify a narcissist in therapy? In general, a therapist "knows" because of how much time and energy it takes to manage simple therapy processes. They come dictating the terms; letting you know they need to be in control, and want things done "their" way. 

And, if you're in family or couples counseling, how does a family member recognize them? How about you? Do you display narcissistic tendencies in a therapy session?

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Addictive Relating

Three Reasons to Cultivate a Consciousness of Optimal Thinking-Feeling

Thoughts are more than airy pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words we think or speak are energy. They produce emotions and feeling sensations. Feelings are energy. Together, they energize action, or immobilize. They have the power to activate neurochemical changes inside, and thus can have a profound effect on our ability to achieve the goals that we’ve set.

We always have a choice to shift to an optimal thinking-feeling state at any moment. Why...
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Addictive Relating

Sex and Love Addiction: Five Ways the Dominance Factor Erodes or Blocks Couple Intimacy

Though dominance as a value may make sense on the battlefield, in love relationships, tactics of war are the problem. Dominance and tactics to enforce hierarchical relations are guaranteed to produce needless suffering in the form of win-lose competitions, pursue-withdraw dynamics, illusions of power, and toxic relating patterns.

Whereas dominance is a socially approved behavior for males (considered "norm" in many cases), the opposite is true for women. Regardless who starts the...
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Conscious Lifestyle

Genuine Love: Four Elements of Love (Practices for Awakening the Heart), 2 of 2

Whether you and your partner are just getting started in building your love relationship, or struggling to get back the love and connection that once came naturally, the wise and mindful reflections of Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh offer couples amazing insights, a breath of fresh air, inviting you and your partner to take the reins of your love and adapt practices focused on awakening both of your hearts.

In this post, we will look at the four key elements of genuine...
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Conscious Lifestyle

Your Connection to an Authentic Life: Four Principles Michelangelo Lived By, 1 of 2

David by Buonarroti, Michelangelo Galleria dell' Accademia, Florence, Italy

In the book The Michelangelo Method, authors Ken Schuman and Ron Paxton present Michelangelo as a model for living life authentically. His beliefs and approach to life are worth looking into, perhaps even adopting. Michelangelo carved the statue of David from a giant block of...
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Addictive Relating

3 Strategies for Controlling (or Being Controlled By) Your Body’s Reactive Patterns

Reactivity and defensiveness is deceptively destructive. It throws off the energy (emotions and heart) of the body -- and when your heart is off balance, so are you, logically speaking. You may think you're being "logical," however, in survival mode, fear rules the body, and the higher-thinking capacity of your brain switches to offline mode, a shift that literally turns on the "protective" (defenses) mode, and turns off "real" learning mode, thus, no longer open to influence...
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Conscious Lifestyle

12 Steps to Increase Your Happiness (Optimize Your Thinking-Feeling Habits!), 3 of 4

Are you waiting for happiness to arrive as a result of reaching a certain outcome?

If so, you may be missing a key point. A state of mind set on happiness is a vital fuel that creates more happiness -- making the achievement of goals easier, more effortless, and and the best guarantees you'll enjoy your success once realized.

Happiness is the way so to speak, not a goal.

To develop an optimal life-changing thinking-feeling mindset, let happiness to lead the way. This doesn't men...
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Conscious Lifestyle

Flow & the Science of Happiness, 2 of 3


Speaking of happiness, developing the ability to shift to positive states of mind and body is also how champions or virtuosos intuitively achieve excellence in their field, a state of happiness so profound words do not suffice.

In Part 1, we considered what timeless wisdom and the science of happiness say about the power of our thoughts, more specifically, the cause-effect relationship between our thoughts and the feelings they spark, and how these shapes our lives and behaviors,...
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Conscious Lifestyle

Timeless Wisdom & the Science of Happiness: To Change Your Life, Change Your Mind (Not Others…)

"The mind is everything; what you think, you become." ~ BUDDHA
Thoughts are not simply airy pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words and ideas we think, and the accompanying feelings they spark, shape our lives and behaviors, driving us toward success and happiness ... or failure and distress.

Thoughts are energy. They produce emotions and physiological feelings, and these are powerful forces...
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