Mindfulness Articles

Does Your Brain Trick You Out of Happiness In Your Love Relationship?

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

Valentine's Day

Sergiu Bacioiu via Compfight

When you and your partner discuss a hot topic, do you handle it in a way that enriches your relationship — and ultimately your happiness — or does your experience put more emotional distance between you and polarize your positions? Many couples fall in the latter category.

Think about it. It’s tempting, isn’t it, to use our capacity for logic to build a case against the other? The feel-good neurochemicals in our brain pull us in this direction, particularly, if we’ve experienced this reaction in early experiences with parents (and who hasn’t?).


Affirmations to Calm Fear and Fulfill Yearnings for Love

Monday, May 26th, 2014

Stay on your path Tc Morgan via Compfight

The practice of affirmations can be a powerful means to heal, change and grow in positive directions. Correctly applied, reaching for customized affirmations is also one of the easiest, fastest, most effective ways to supercharge your life — in a given moment or situation — to activate the health-boosting hormones and processes that optimal emotional states produce in the brain and body.

When you think of it, in its simplest form, an affirmation is really anything you say or think to yourself silently or aloud. In effect, you likely practice “affirmations” around the clock – subconsciously, outside your awareness.

More specifically, however, the word “affirmations” speaks to the conscious use of words that affirm, lift up, inspire, refresh, in other words, a conscious practice of making positive statements to your self … for the purpose of optimizing performance, energizing the body’s healing processes or shifting away from toxic thought patterns that intensify fears, depression, anger, etc., to unhealthy levels.

Affirmations are a key aspect of letting go of and, or replacing old habits of negative self-talk, which most persons are conditioned to repeat, to some degree 24/7, whether they are aware of doing so or not. Because thoughts are powerful activators of automatic neural activity, which produces actual structural inside your body, when you make this a conscious process, you are literally exercising your very own built-in capacity (unique to human beings!), ultimately, to choose the beliefs that will direct the firing and wiring of cells in your brain and body.

The joining or “wiring” of brain cells, is often referred to as, “cells that fire together, wire together”; the words are used to describe what happens when we learn something new or reinforce or modify a current skill. This wiring produces different types of structural changes to the brain, literally, when groups of cells that get activated together, develop new associations, or get modified or reinforced (thicker connections) to the extent they are repeated.

This grouping of common brain cells is what learned behavior is all about; this ability of our brain allows us to walk, talk, run, write, sing, in fact any learned activity we do, and do so seemingly without thinking (in truth, it …


3 Steps to Resonate (and Manifest) Your Dreams and Aspirations

Saturday, April 19th, 2014

images-725Thoughts are energies that are positively or negatively charged. By shifting your thoughts to what you want (instead of lack), you shift your energy from negative to positive, and thus, to an energy vibration that resonates with what you want to attract in your life.

Positive thoughts and feeling states align you to your authentic self, your higher self, a constant source of authentic power within you.

The more blissful your feelings, the more you are aligned with who you really are.

There is a distinct difference between the infinite possibilities of the inner perfection of your emotional yearnings for what you want in your life and relationships — as opposed to the limited outer physical manifestations of your desires, which are alway, always imperfect in some way. What you focus on matters. It’s great to have clarity on what you want, however, an imbalanced weight on outcomes, can put you at risk of constantly checking, getting upset or discouraged, on one hand, and making “the perfect” the enemy of the good, on the other.


The Power of Subconscious Learning: Transform Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life

Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

images-823Findings show that thoughts are powerful activators of life transforming inner processes. They activate neurochemical signals that accordingly generate emotions and actions, learning and change, to include the formation of behavioral patterns or habits.

Subconscious learning in itself is a powerful and efficient built-in capacity. When what we learn is aligned by chance to our goals and highest interests for personal and relational health and well being, it can support us to grow in positive directions and to realize amazing and creative outcomes and passions. What if it doesn’t however? Limiting beliefs or toxic thinking patterns can harm our health, keep us stuck in life-draining addictive behavior patterns, and at best place limits on our happiness.


The Relationship Building Power of Empathy: Seven Actions of Empathic Listeners, 3 of 3

Monday, March 31st, 2014

images-346Empathy empowers grace and harmony in our lives and relationships.

Without empathy, we’re not connected to the otherwise amazing inner resources available to help us restore or keep our connection to built-in capacities to think and feel, and, when necessary, to shift to optimal thoughts and feelings, imagine new possibilities, transform fears, make optimal choices, and ultimately grow wiser learning from our mistakes.

It is in empathic relationships that we learn to feel safe enough to compassionately connect with what is going on inside of us — rather than run away or react aggressively — when we feel triggered or stressed.

Part 1 outlined key intentions underlying empathy, and Part 2 listed three of seven actions that naturally flow from seeking to genuinely connect with another human being at deeper levels. Here are the remaining four:

4. Seek to understand (other) before being understood. 

This allows you to focus your attention on listening to understand the other’s heart with compassion (as you’d likely wish if you were them). In this place, you are present in mind and body, and are seeking what is in the highest interest of both, ultimately, to grow your compassion for your self and the other as human beings.


The Relationship Building Power of Empathy: Seven Conscious Actions of Empathic Listeners, 2 of 3

Friday, March 28th, 2014

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Empathy is a key emotion in building healthy, vibrant, mutually enriching relationships.

In Part 1, we described empathy as a form of love, a gift of our presence to actively listen, to emotionally connect, and to provide a holding place that shares the intensity of another’s experience. We also said that, consciously or subconsciously, empathy stems from certain intentions. It doesn’t stop there, however.

Actions are an essential part of expressing, giving and receiving love. Action seals the deal; and this is the topic of this post.

Without action, the best of intentions have no meaning, in other words, as if they never occurred or existed. Relationships are living entities, and they require certain actions to remain alive. 


Three Lessons Learned From Studies of Success

Sunday, March 9th, 2014

images-309A lot has been learned about the brain and behavior in the last three decades. At the same time, we’ve gained understanding of success by studying successful people in various endeavors.

Here are three important lessons we’ve gained from studying success.

  • One, success does not create happiness, instead, it is the other way around: happiness creates success. That’s right. Success is an inner job.

It does not come from what is outside of you in the environment—a car, a house, a degree, a promotion, financial wealth—as desirable and wonderful as these can be. Instead, lasting and powerful success stems from what is going on inside of you. It is dependent upon your willingness to consciously produce certain thoughts inside your head, more specifically, thoughts that energy a positive physiology, an energized positive emotional state that makes you virtually unstoppable in creating the success you want.


Three Obstacles to Intimate Communication Between You and Your Partner

Thursday, February 13th, 2014

Loving KissCreative Commons License Pedro Ribeiro Simões via Compfight

Communication is the life tool with which we may create and strengthen our relationships, and relationships are all about emotional safety and meaningful connections.

Communication is a tool like no other. Whether verbal or nonverbal, it is to your emotional and mental health, and relationships, what food and water are to your body. You may be wondering, if talking is such a “loving” activity why do you experience so much pain in your communications with one of the most important persons in your life, your partner?


The Power of Forgiveness: Restoring Own Connection to Love & Healing

Friday, January 31st, 2014

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Though not easy, letting go of past resentments, a process also known as forgiveness, really works! Letting go does not mean forgetting a wrongful action or excusing how hurtful it was, however;  it means letting go the human survival-instinct to hurt the back, to retaliate or to wish as much or more suffering on the other.

Ultimately, we forgive because of its impact accordingly on the state of our mind and body (autonomic nervous system). While revenge may be our mind-body’s instinct in survival mode (where fear is the governing emotion, and body shuts off any consultations with the heart or higher intellect), revenge is never aligned with our body’s highest directives (built-in wisdom) to do more than merely survive, rather to thrive, to fulfill core yearnings, or emotion-drives, to matter, to meaningfully connect.


Five Skills that Predict Success in Marriage Relationships

Sunday, January 26th, 2014

images-874Thanks to advances in research methodology and neuroscience, relationships are now a science. The science of love relationships has identified several specific behavior patterns of partners that succeed in creating healthy, mutually enriching couple relationships. Partners who think and act in certain ways nearly guarantee themselves love relationships in which they feel fulfilled, loved and appreciated.

First, the good news is both you and your partner are wired for love, your body’s health depends on it.

Second, you are wired to release a certain love hormone, Oxytocin, the chemical known as the “cuddle hormone,”  in response to certain behaviors.

Feeling loved and secure has everything to do with knowing how to create an Oxytocin response that makes you and your partner feel loved and secure.


 
 

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