Archives for Mindfulness

Addictive Relating

Codependency and Narcissism: 10 Similar-Yet-Distinct Patterns

On the surface the dance of narcissism and codependency seems to be between two complete opposites; and, in many ways, they are. To see what's really happening in a couple relationship with these dynamics, however, it helps to look at 10 similar yet distinct patterns in their dance steps.

An awareness of these patterns gives us a glimpse of what is really going on to keep both addicted, and stuck repeating the same old dance...
Continue Reading

Addictive Relating

The Neuroscience of Why a Child is a Model Citizen, 2 of 2

Luis Sarabia via Compfight

In Part 1 we looked at better understanding the behavior of a child who is a model citizen everywhere but home by examining what inner strivings, or emotion-drives, the child is attempting to meet in each situation. In this post, the two areas below pertain to questions of how thoughts drive behaviors.
2. What beliefs (or thoughts) does the child's behavior say the child has learned to hold regarding how to best fulfill their core...
Continue Reading

Conscious Lifestyle

10 Affirmations and Inspirational Quotes for New Beginnings Each Day and Year!



Happy New Year to you and yours!

(Or, if you prefer, Happy First Day of the Rest of Your Life)!

In either case, why not make it an inspiring one?

Start this New Year, and each day in it, with affirming thoughts and words that have amazing powers to refresh and literally restore balance in the neurochemistry of your brain and body, mind and heart!

This shouldn't be surprising, considering that human beings are hardwired to have an intimate relationship with words. That's right. You and language...
Continue Reading

Emotional Mastery

14 Tips to Survive — and Enjoy — the Holidays

The holidays can be stressful, but they don't have to be unnecessarily so! Remember, you always have a choice to create more peace of mind by accessing inner power to conscious pay attention to what you're focusing on with your thoughts.  This involves clarifying what you most value, and cultivating the practice of disallowing things of less value to compete. It can be fun!

Here are a few tips:
Make meaningful moments by letting go of...
Continue Reading

Addictive Relating

Self-Forgiveness: Checklists for Partners Seeking to Heal From Infidelity

When infidelity occurs, though the betrayed partner should not feel pressured to forgive, ultimately, forgiving is a key step to restoring their own sense of safety, peace of mind, hope and belief, ultimately, love and joy. Genuine forgiveness however is a series of steps, only possible when the partner that was unfaithful fully owns responsibility for their wrongful actions, and takes the lead to reconcile and steer the relationship to a safe harbor. (See post that outlines differences between "
Continue Reading

Addictive Relating

Restoring Safety: A Letter in Response to the Unfaithful Partner, 2 of 2

In Part 1 a letter template was included for one partner to write to the loved one they betrayed with infidelity. This post presents a letter for the betrayed partner to write in response.

While only one of many critical, the letter serves as an acknowledgement that the betrayed partner must also play an active role in opening their heart to essential processes for healing themselves, their relationship ... and yes, even the partner who betrayed them. The last part is...
Continue Reading

Addictive Relating

What Is and Isn’t Narcissism: 3 Key Identifiers, 2 of 5

Many articles of late describe a narcissist as someone "in love" with themselves, absorbed with activities that promote their success, dreams and goals, skilled at charming others, attention seeking, and so on. Though a narcissist may exhibit these traits, and be charming, charismatic, successful and goal-oriented ... let's get real.

These characteristics, in and of themselves, are also essential human traits and, in varying degrees, describe behaviors of healthy persons who are driven to succeed in their careers at work or home,...
Continue Reading

Addictive Relating

3 Basics of Working (Mindfully) with a Narcissist in Therapy: A Balancing Act, 1 of 5

In response to a recent post, How to Identify a Narcissist in Therapy, several readers requested a follow up post that outlines a few essentials of working with a client who presents with narcissistic "tendencies" or npd (narcissistic personality disorder) in couples or family therapy, so as to disarm or minimize the potentially destabilizing effects of these problematic behaviors both in the sessions themselves -- and on therapeutic processes and outcomes in general. Other readers also wanted to know...
Continue Reading