Archives for Health

Addictive Relating

What Is and Isn’t Narcissism: 3 Key Identifiers, 2 of 5

Many articles of late describe a narcissist as someone "in love" with themselves, absorbed with activities that promote their success, dreams and goals, skilled at charming others, attention seeking, and so on. Though a narcissist may exhibit these traits, and be charming, charismatic, successful and goal-oriented ... let's get real.

These characteristics, in and of themselves, are also essential human traits and, in varying degrees, describe behaviors of healthy persons who are driven to succeed in their careers at work or...
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Addictive Relating

How to Identify a Narcissist In Family or Couples Counseling

How does a therapist identify a narcissist in therapy? In general, a therapist "knows" because of how much time and energy it takes to manage simple therapy processes. They come dictating the terms; letting you know they need to be in control, and want things done "their" way. 

And, if you're in family or couples counseling, how does a family member recognize them? How about you? Do you display narcissistic tendencies in a therapy session?

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Addictive Relating

Sex and Love Addiction: Five Ways the Dominance Factor Erodes or Blocks Couple Intimacy

Though dominance as a value may make sense on the battlefield, in love relationships, tactics of war are the problem. Dominance and tactics to enforce hierarchical relations are guaranteed to produce needless suffering in the form of win-lose competitions, pursue-withdraw dynamics, illusions of power, and toxic relating patterns.

Whereas dominance is a socially approved behavior for males (considered "norm" in many cases), the opposite is true for women. Regardless who starts the...
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Conscious Lifestyle

Your Connection to an Authentic Life: Four Principles Michelangelo Lived By, 1 of 2

David by Buonarroti, Michelangelo Galleria dell' Accademia, Florence, Italy

In the book The Michelangelo Method, authors Ken Schuman and Ron Paxton present Michelangelo as a model for living life authentically. His beliefs and approach to life are worth looking into, perhaps even adopting. Michelangelo carved the statue of David from a giant block of...
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Addictive Relating

3 Strategies for Controlling (or Being Controlled By) Your Body’s Reactive Patterns

Reactivity and defensiveness is deceptively destructive. It throws off the energy (emotions and heart) of the body -- and when your heart is off balance, so are you, logically speaking. You may think you're being "logical," however, in survival mode, fear rules the body, and the higher-thinking capacity of your brain switches to offline mode, a shift that literally turns on the "protective" (defenses) mode, and turns off "real" learning mode, thus, no longer open to influence...
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Conscious Lifestyle

12 Steps to Increase Your Happiness (Optimize Your Thinking-Feeling Habits!), 3 of 4

Are you waiting for happiness to arrive as a result of reaching a certain outcome?

If so, you may be missing a key point. A state of mind set on happiness is a vital fuel that creates more happiness -- making the achievement of goals easier, more effortless, and and the best guarantees you'll enjoy your success once realized.

Happiness is the way so to speak, not a goal.

To develop an optimal life-changing thinking-feeling mindset, let happiness to lead the way. This doesn't men...
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Conscious Lifestyle

Timeless Wisdom & the Science of Happiness: To Change Your Life, Change Your Mind (Not Others…)

"The mind is everything; what you think, you become." ~ BUDDHA
Thoughts are not simply airy pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words and ideas we think, and the accompanying feelings they spark, shape our lives and behaviors, driving us toward success and happiness ... or failure and distress.

Thoughts are energy. They produce emotions and physiological feelings, and these are powerful forces...
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Addictive Relating

5 Steps to Break a Habit of Arguing With Your Child, 2 of 3

Part 1 outlined five reasons why "arguing" with your children as a parent is a lose-lose proposition. Nobody wins, and you instead risk losing serious ground in terms of the effects on the relationship between you and your child. In human terms, it's safe to say that, based on the latest findings on the brain, attachment and neuroscience, key relationships intimately impact every aspect of human health and ongoing development, to include other relationships (, spouse, self, children that are siblings, etc.) in...
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Emotional Mastery

5 Reasons Why You Want to Avoid Arguing With Your Child, 1 of 3

Parenting is likely the most difficult job in the world. It's easy to get into fights that turn into parent-child power struggles. Regardless of the magnitude of an issue, however, whether it's a relatively minor one of brushing teeth or bigger ones over homework and curfews, there are several reasons parents want to pause and consider before getting into arguments - in fact, it's best to avoid them altogether (like a plague).

Let me clarify. This does not mean to allow children to do what they want; parents are responsible to fulfill, and not abdicate, their role as leaders. There is a clear difference, however, between dealing with disagreements in your parent roles of teacher, mentor and guide, and habitual patterns of dismissing, talking over one another, and attack-counter attack interactions.

There are at least five reasons to (seriously) consider before arguing with your child (or spouse for that matter).
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Addictive Relating

Pornography: Ways It Blocks Healthy Sexual Relations, 2 of 3


A key block to healthy sexual relations, as discussed in Part 1, is that porn depicts sexual relations devoid of emotional intimacy as "the" norm.

Whereas intimacy is an emotional sense of safety and love, a felt state of mind and body that occurs when the love and safety chemical oxytocin is released into the blood stream, and that forms an essential foundation for healthy sexual relations, pornography makes...
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