Archives for Health

Addictive Relating

3 Strategies for Controlling (or Being Controlled By) Your Body’s Reactive Patterns

Reactivity and defensiveness is deceptively destructive. It throws off the energy (emotions and heart) of the body -- and when your heart is off balance, so are you, logically speaking. You may think you're being "logical," however, in survival mode, fear rules the body, and the higher-thinking capacity of your brain switches to offline mode, a shift that literally turns on the "protective" (defenses) mode, and turns off "real" learning mode, thus, no longer open to influence...
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Conscious Lifestyle

12 Steps to Increase Your Happiness (Optimize Your Thinking-Feeling Habits!), 3 of 4

Are you waiting for happiness to arrive as a result of reaching a certain outcome?

If so, you may be missing a key point. A state of mind set on happiness is a vital fuel that creates more happiness -- making the achievement of goals easier, more effortless, and and the best guarantees you'll enjoy your success once realized.

Happiness is the way so to speak, not a goal.

To develop an optimal life-changing thinking-feeling mindset, let happiness to lead the way. This doesn't men...
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Conscious Lifestyle

Timeless Wisdom & the Science of Happiness: To Change Your Life, Change Your Mind (Not Others…)

"The mind is everything; what you think, you become." ~ BUDDHA
Thoughts are not simply airy pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words and ideas we think, and the accompanying feelings they spark, shape our lives and behaviors, driving us toward success and happiness ... or failure and distress.

Thoughts are energy. They produce emotions and physiological feelings, and these are powerful forces...
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Addictive Relating

5 Steps to Break a Habit of Arguing With Your Child, 2 of 3

Part 1 outlined five reasons why "arguing" with your children as a parent is a lose-lose proposition. Nobody wins, and you instead risk losing serious ground in terms of the effects on the relationship between you and your child. In human terms, it's safe to say that, based on the latest findings on the brain, attachment and neuroscience, key relationships intimately impact every aspect of human health and ongoing development, to include other relationships (, spouse, self, children that are siblings, etc.) in...
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Emotional Mastery

5 Reasons Why You Want to Avoid Arguing With Your Child, 1 of 3

Parenting is likely the most difficult job in the world. It's easy to get into fights that turn into parent-child power struggles. Regardless of the magnitude of an issue, however, whether it's a relatively minor one of brushing teeth or bigger ones over homework and curfews, there are several reasons parents want to pause and consider before getting into arguments - in fact, it's best to avoid them altogether (like a plague).

Let me clarify. This does not mean to allow children to do what they want; parents are responsible to fulfill, and not abdicate, their role as leaders. There is a clear difference, however, between dealing with disagreements in your parent roles of teacher, mentor and guide, and habitual patterns of dismissing, talking over one another, and attack-counter attack interactions.

There are at least five reasons to (seriously) consider before arguing with your child (or spouse for that matter).
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Addictive Relating

Pornography: Ways It Blocks Healthy Sexual Relations, 2 of 3


A key block to healthy sexual relations, as discussed in Part 1, is that porn depicts sexual relations devoid of emotional intimacy as "the" norm.

Whereas intimacy is an emotional sense of safety and love, a felt state of mind and body that occurs when the love and safety chemical oxytocin is released into the blood stream, and that forms an essential foundation for healthy sexual relations, pornography makes...
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Addictive Relating

Sexual Reintegration Therapy: Healing Solutions for Sex and Porn Addiction

Couples dealing with the impact of a partner with sex and porn addiction, according to Drs. Bill and Ginger Bercaw, face considerably greater obstacles than those facing other addictions, such as substance abuse. Because of the trauma caused by repeated acts of betrayal, healing and rebuilding a relationship will require extensive efforts.

Authors of “The Couple’s Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal,” the Bercaws are psychologists who specialize in sex...
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Emotional Mastery

3 Agents that Can Derail Goals and Dreams (And Negatively Shape Your Life)

This is a great time of year to energize your dreams and goals, with momentum and high expectations for your success to unfold. In moments of stress, however, or when a set back occurs, you want to remain aware of certain negative agents that can automatically take over and influence your outcomes. By remaining consciously aware of agents that mostly operate subconsciously, hidden from view, the power is in your hands to rewire many of these pre-programmed emotion-command neural pathways.

The idea is to capitalize on positive-change mental imagery your mind...
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Addictive Relating

5 Prerequisites to Unlock Your Communications — Re-Image Your Partner As Capable of Loving You, 5 of 5

Certain shifts in perception are essential to unlock your imagination to work for you in creating a healthy, vibrant love relationship. To summarize the first four:

The first shift (see Part 2) sees a commitment to individual healing, each participating fully in your own and one another's healing processes, as an essential aspect of relationship building.

Your relationship will make you happy, to the extent you are each open to grow, to learn, to stretch your capacity to love, to understand, and that often means to protect and know how to do...
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Addictive Relating

A Gift Guaranteed to Improve Your Love Life — and Brain? Make Your Relationship a Criticism-Free Zone

Here's a gift to add to your list of what to get him/her on that special day, which is guaranteed to boost your brain's capacity to work for you, and at the same time improve your love relationship. There's one condition, however: Both of you must give this gift wholeheartedly to one another to experience its life energizing effects.

What is this gift? It's the gift of making your relationship a criticism-free zone. There's perhaps nothing as corrosive to your physical health as well as your love relationship than criticism, at least certain types.

To clarify, expressing what you like or don't like are not criticisms per se. It is healthy to make descriptive observations of a problem, explore what actions or habits work or do not work, make suggestions or requests for something you'd like to see happen or stop occurring, and the like, for example. All of these, potentially, are relationship building actions.

In contrast, criticisms are detrimental to your health and relationship specifically because they are attempts to resolve issues through the use of words that attack or judge or label a partner's character in derogatory ways. What we're talking about here are words or phrases, such as shame-, guilt- or fear-inducing statements, which are purposefully designed to get the other to change or stop a certain behavior -- in other words, to give you the love you need, etc. They are also widespread because they consist of parenting practices most of us experienced as children.

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