Archives for Conscious Lifestyle

Conscious Lifestyle

7 Steps to Declare Freedom From Energy-Zapping Thoughts (EZTs)

Thoughts are powerful shapers of our lives, period. They shape our relationships too, even our character. If our thoughts are limiting, however, they are also energy zapping. Do you have the reins of your thoughts?

It's no longer theory, it's science.

Our habitual "self talk" seems to form a meaning-laden story that continually "tells us" who we are, how we should relate to our self, others, and life.

This running commentary, based on findings in the fields of cognitive and...
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Addictive Relating

Thanksgiving, Why Your Health and Happiness Depend On it

It’s that time of year again. The day of giving thanks is here, and with it, a reminder to reflect on the blessings in our lives.

How refreshing this holiday can be, pondering the beautiful truth it symbolizes!

Thanksgiving draws many like a magnet.

Let's “give thanks more often," you hear some say, while others chime in with, “why wait a year?"

Good question, why do most tend to wait for this time of year to...
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Addictive Relating

Beauty Lives .. It’s Our Nature to Choose Thoughts of Love and Healing

Today the hearts of many in our country, and around the world, are heavy in response to the unthinkable dose of reality that yesterday America voted for those who stand for ignorance, hatred, and bigotry.

(And lets' not kid ourselves; this movement was not for "change"; rather a right wing push to return to the "good ol' boy" ways of blatant sexism, racism and mad )

In response, feelings of grief and loss, anger and betrayal, among others, are only natural. These feelings after...
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Addictive Relating

7 Steps to Emotionally Heal After Leaving (or Living With) a Narcissist

Once you accept that you’re entangled in a love relationship with a narcissist, you have a key decision to make, either to: remain in the relationship for now, or leave. Or perhaps you've already left, yet keep getting entangled in the narcissist's hoovering tactics.

In either case, give yourself time to cultivate a new understanding of how different the narcissist's worldview is from yours, to identify and avoid the mind game traps they set, and in general, to practice new...
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Addictive Relating

Codependency, as an Out of Balance, Addictive Relating Pattern, 2 of 2

The overall tendencies for women and men in couple relationships toward some degree of codependency and narcissism respectively, may best be understood looking through the lens of socially approved gender roles. As mentioned in Part 1, narcissism is both a destabilizing mindset, and an addictive relating pattern. In the meantime, a codependent's overzealous attempts to please and appease the narcissist are also destabilizing and addictive.

Perhaps the key difference overall lies in what they each hope to accomplish...
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Conscious Lifestyle

7 Questions to Deepen Your Conversations and Relationship, 2 of 2


Continuing from Part 1, here are four more key questions that invite couples to deepen their relationship and conversations. The questions were adapted from an article by inspirational poet, David Whyte, titled 10 Questions That Have No Right to Go Away.

The four questions are as follows:
4. Do I know how to be present in the moment, yet also remain connected to what I've learned from past experiences ... as...
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Conscious Lifestyle

7 Questions to Deepen Your Conversations and Relationship, 1 of 2

An inspiring poet and lecturer in areas, among others, of psychology and business leadership, David Whyte notes in his article, 10 Questions, that certain questions, the ones that have to do with the person we are becoming, should be held dear to our heart, as much or more than good answers.

Why? Because questions guide the internal conversations we have with ourselves, and others, and thus not only shape our identity, but also our behavior patterns...
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Addictive Relating

3 Secrets to Outsmarting a Narcissist (By Not Trying to)


Is it possible to outsmart a narcissist? Perhaps, but only if you're willing to downgrade your standards to act like one.

Admittedly, this post began with a trick question! The point was to say, first, why would you want to? And also, that taking that approach can be trap! This post explains why.

The narcissist has a wounded ego, and the suffering they cause is a projection of the inner suffering and wounds they avoid. Their greatest fear is to...
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Addictive Relating

7 Ways to Repel (Rather Than Attract) a Narcissist

It's not uncommon, once a person experiences a relationship with a narcissist, to vehemently want to avoid or prevent a repeat.

So what best guarantees a relationship will not turn into a dance of codependency and narcissism?

In part, success has to do with identifying certain red flags that help you understand what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is, a few secret insights into a narcissist's worldview, and what codependency traits unwittingly supply energy to narcissism.

What best repels narcissism, however, has to do with certain practices that persons who are committed...
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Addictive Relating

Codependency and Narcissism: 10 Similar-Yet-Distinct Patterns

On the surface the dance of narcissism and codependency seems to be between two complete opposites; and, in many ways, they are. To see what's really happening in a couple relationship with these dynamics, however, it helps to look at 10 similar yet distinct patterns in their dance steps.

An awareness of these patterns gives us a glimpse of what is really going on to keep both addicted, and stuck repeating the same old dance...
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