Neuroscience and Relationships

Conscious Lifestyle Articles

Four Steps to Rewire Your Brain With Your Mind and Conscious Action

Friday, May 11th, 2012

True, the mystery and complexity of the mind and brain may remain an ever present reality. Thanks in large part to advanced methods of studying the brain, however, recent findings in neuroscience have come a long way to unravel numerous puzzles.

Safe to say, many operations of the brain and body are governed by scientific laws as real as the Law of Gravity. Unquestionably, there is less mystery.

One of the laws discovered by recent findings is the ability of the brain to restructure and heal itself throughout life. This discovery alone tossed out centuries of scientific creeds, which previously held that we cannot do much about the damage caused by trauma and certain set patterns such as those labeled mental or behavioral “disorders.”

Known as neuroplasticity, findings show you have an innate ability to restructure the gray matter of your brain, literally speaking, with your mind and conscious action. When you change what you think, say or do in response to an event or situation, you change inner emotional states. As emotions are molecules that transmit the “what” to fire and wire” messages, whenever your felt experience of an event changes, accordingly, this physically restructures the gray matter of your brain.

More and more, psychological treatment is less guesswork and mystery, and more application of proven science.

Four Approaches to Forgiveness, Ranging From ‘Cheap’ to ‘Genuine’

Saturday, April 14th, 2012

If you’re in a relationship with a loved one that repeatedly acts in hurtful ways, you’re likely dealing with recurring rushes of anger or disappointment, regardless of whether you are consciously aware of or express these or similar emotions. It can feel as if this person keeps stealing the sense of emotional safety that you, your body and mind, are hardwired to seek.

It is only human, after all, to feel betrayed by the actions of a partner who is emotionally or physically abusive, addicted to a substance, compulsively spends money, or repeats acts of infidelity despite promises, as occurs with sex or love addiction.

While the emotional intensity is understandable, it is still a heavy weight to carry, much less balance. It’s not easy to deal with these emotions, and at the same time the repeated strikes, which challenge your efforts to restore the inner sense of emotional safety that, at any given time, you innately strive to realize in relation to life around you.

A look at the usual simplistic approach…

In response to hurtful actions of a loved one, forgiveness is largely regarded as the highest, most noble action, and a prerequisite for healing to take place. Depending on the circumstances, it often is. In fact, a stubborn refusal to forgive can both prolong and intensify suffering for the person that was wronged.

Ten Steps of Acceptance – When Forgiveness Is Not An Option

Friday, April 6th, 2012

In response to being wronged or mistreated by a loved one, whether emotional or physical abuse, or betrayal and infidelity, forgiveness is often considered the most critical ingredient for healing to eventually take place.

Indeed, depending on the context, forgiveness is a powerfully healing agent. In fact, a refusal to forgive or let go often prolongs suffering for the person that was wronged.

But what happens when the hurtful actions are repetitive and ongoing? Or, when the person who has acted wrongly is not willing (or able) to make meaningful amends? Or when the wronged person is not ready to forgive?

In these circumstances, argues Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, author of How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To, genuine forgiveness can only take place when the onus of responsibility rests on the person who acted wrongly to earn forgiveness, and that, in certain situations, the best option for the person who was mistreated or betrayed is to have the freedom to not forgive, and to instead turn to the healing power of acceptance, one of four approaches to forgiveness.

Depression? Anxiety? Seven Strategies to Naturally Boost Healing Processes in the Brain & Body, 3 of 3

Saturday, March 31st, 2012

Honestly speaking, why turn to a pill without first giving mindful consideration to a plethora of research in support of powerful options that put you, and the power of your choices, in the driver’s seat? You always have a choice to give yourself permission to self-direct your own healing naturally (together with your doctor, as necessary).

After all, who better to understand you and your brain and body’s natural healing intelligence, to grow your awareness of inner signals and sensations, to get to know the healing attributes of different foods and exercise, and the powerful impact of this knowledge on your life?

Who is in better position to connect to your own inner resources of intuitive and common sense wisdom, your deepest needs for emotional, mental (and physical) health and wellbeing, or your fondest dreams and aspirations?

In the first post, Part 1, we looked at published findings that sound alarm on antidepressants, and possible forces behind the exponential rise of mental (and physical) illness in the last few decades, and then in Part 2, we considered five factors that can elevate toxic levels of stress in the body, and set the stage for serious emotional disturbances, such as depression or anxiety.

In this post we look at seven strategies that work together to successfully address the factors that elevate toxic levels of stress. The last couple of decades have seen a growing consensus and numerous findings and publications recognizing the benefits of taking a natural approach to emotional (and physical) wellness.

Emotional Healing – Why ‘How’ You Deal With Stress Matters, 2 of 2

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

Emotional healing is no easy road. In varying degrees, anxiety and depression are ingrained patterns of behavior, reactive attempts to deal with stress that become increasingly ineffective, and eventually, life-impairing.

These patterned responses are particularly resistant to change as they are associated with emotional-command circuitry in the brain that automatically activates the body’s survival system in response to stress or certain triggers.

Human being are fully equipped inside however, with everything needed to unlearn these responses, and self-direct change and own healing.

In Part 1, we looked at reasons why it’s essential to tune into your inner-world experience more than you do outer-world signals, in particular, to become aware of any prevailing mindsets, personal or cultural, that are limiting.

How Eating & Drinking Nutritionally Smart Positively Affects Emotional Health (And Relationships)

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

The bottom line is that foods have an immense impact on your emotions, moods and physical health, all of which directly impact your ability to deal with not only challenges, and day to day stressors, but also issues in your relationships.

Findings show that nutrition deficiencies cause biochemical conditions in the brain and body that raise stress to toxic levels, fostering depression and anxiety and other emotional (and physical) disturbances. More specifically, the culprit is chronic inflammation of the brain and body.

Chronic Inflammation, a public health issue?

Inflammation itself is the body’s natural immune response to harmful stimuli, an automatic initial defense of the body, without which wounds would never heal.

  • When acute, inflammation is a healthy process that is designed to restore balance by containing harmful irritants that would otherwise spread and harm the body; at the same time, it moves restorative agents, such as white blood cells, to the region to allow healing of injury, infection, stress, etc., to take place.
  • In contrast, chronic inflammation is a prolonged condition that attacks healthy cells and tissues instead of protecting them; it can lead to a host of diseases, among others, diabetes, asthma, heart disease, arthritis, autoimmune and neurological problems.

12 Tips to Enjoy Making Exercise Part of Your Lifestyle!

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

If you’re not already exercising, and wish to make exercise part of your lifestyle, you may be wondering how you will ever find the energy, the will or even the time to exercise.

If so, you first need reasons to love exercise for its many benefits so you can begin to energize your heart and mind to fully embrace, and welcome a balanced exercise program into your life, for its many benefits to your physical and emotional wellbeing.

Naturally, the next step is to talk to your doctor about taking a fitness test, to determine if there are any exercises that are unsafe or off limits for you. [Hopefully a doctor that values a preventive, holistic approach to primary care...]

And now, to really get started, here are 12 tips or guidelines to follow, and more and more, to enjoy making exercise an integral part of your lifestyle:

A ‘Balanced’ Exercise Program – What It Is And Why You Need It

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

You’ve heard it before, and increasingly, doctors and therapists are recommending it: Exercise is one of the healthiest steps you can take to improve your life, health and emotional well-being. It not only helps you maintain a healthy body and weight, it also has proven benefits in increasing your happiness and even improving your relationships.

If you’re already exercising, you may want to improve your consistency, and spend less time making excuses or dreading what’s involved. Wouldn’t it be great to enjoy and appreciate its value to you, your health and your happiness?

You can. Check into how you may energize your love and appreciation for exercise. And, if you are just getting started, here are 12 tips to help you make exercise part of your lifestyle.

Regardless your fitness level, however, it’s important to work toward putting together an exercise regimen that is balanced. What’s that entail? A balanced exercise program is one that includes the three essential components of physical health: endurance, strength, and balance and flexibility.

How ‘Conscious Acceptance’ Empowers Your Beliefs, Choices and Actions, 2 of 2

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Believe it or not, you are in a perfect place in your life, exactly where you need to be.

If that doesn’t feel true, you may not be exercising your capacity for conscious acceptance as a springboard for making optimal choices, or may not understand how it can serve you as a bridge or anchor, to realizing the larger vision of where you aspire to be your life (whether you know what that is or not).

In Part 1, we looked at conscious acceptance, and how it can empower you to respond to disappointments and challenges in consciously positive ways. Considering the life-shaping power of responses, that’s big.

In this post, we look at three factors that shape how you respond – your beliefs, choices and actions – and how acceptance can play a vital role in cultivating these key abilities, so that they more fully support you to take the shortest, most expedient path to living a life of balance, healing and transformation, or what psychologist Abraham Maslow would call self-actualization.

How does conscious acceptance maximize your beliefs, choices and actions?

  • Like an anchor, acceptance grounds your sense of self in mind- and body-calming core beliefs.

Your responses are life-shaping energy, and this is largely because what you believe determines your overall approach to life and how you respond in certain situations.

Ego Versus Ego-Strength: The Characteristics of a Healthy Ego and Why It’s Essential to Your Happiness

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

The idea of ego-strength has a long history in the field of psychology that can be traced back to the development of Sigmund Freud’s three-tiered view of personality in terms of id, ego, and super-ego.

Thanks to numerous contributions since, this and other Freudian concepts were significantly revamped by many of his followers, such as Alfred Adler, Carl Jung and Erich Fromm, known as NeoFreudians, all of whom positioned their own theories as complements to Freud’s. More specifically, each shifted away from Freud’s deterministic, and pessimistic, view of human nature and, in its place, added what was sorely missing: An empowering view of human personality and behavior as, by nature, primarily social in focus and self-determined by intrinsic motivation.

In particular, NeoFreudians rejected Freud’s emphasis on sexual urges as primary motivators of ego drives and behavior. A follower of NeoFreudians, Abraham Maslow, who later made significant contributions of his own to psychological (and organizational) theory of human motivation with his now famous Hierarchy of Needs, put it this way in his book, Toward a Psychology of Being: “It is as if Freud supplied us the sick half of psychology and we must now fill it out with the healthy half.” 

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