What does it mean to live in authentic connection?

Authenticity is permission we give ourselves to be real, to be who we are, consciously aware of warts and graces. In Part 1, we discussed the secret to being authentic.

This permission frees us to give and live in relation to our self and others, especially key others, from a place of love, and not fear. Authenticity is knowing how to love our self, others and our life with our whole heart.

Authenticity, a conscious connection to our heart.

“Love is the basic need of human nature, for without it, life is disrupted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.” ~ KARL MENNINGER

When we love with our whole heart, we feel safe enough to face our fears.

How frequently do you say or not say something because you’re worried how others will respond? For many, this happens regularly, perhaps more than we’d like to think.

Often, it’s related to not wanting to come across like someone on the opposite end of the spectrum, who is perhaps oblivious to the feelings or perspectives of others.

Most of us say we want to live authentically, to live true to our values and highest aspirations, yet it is not easy.

Why so challenging?

Mostly because the “real” issues in our lives often lie hidden beneath the content of what we say and do about the problems we face.

Fathers, like mothers, are irreplaceable. They have a significant impact in the growth and emotional development of their children, daughters and sons alike.

Many fathers tend to underestimate the power of their love and support, encouragement and presence in the lives of their child or children. Often it is because they been conditioned to believe that a father’s value depends on being a superhero who fixes all problems, and sweeps away all heartache. For generations, however, these unfair expectations have kept fathers separated from – relationships – the heart of matters in the home.

In honor of Father’s Day, I’d like to share three poems today.

One of these honors the qualities of strength and security that are so essential to children, and another for the quality of fun and playfulness that is equally vital.

A third poem is honor of grandfathers, or, as one person put it, fathers who are just grand.

In the words of David M. Gottesman:

“Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers – and fathering is a very important stage in their development.”

Hope you enjoy them, here they are:

The human psyche, Dr. Carl Jung said, ever strives for wholeness and healing.

Jung taught that healing, wholeness and consciousness, whether for an individual or a group, are inborn subconscious strivings. In his words:

“There is in the psyche a process that seeks its own goal no matter what the external factors may be….the almost irresistible compulsion and urge to become what one is.”

The path to one’s healing is a journey to consciousness, and the doorway to this path is … the discovery of one’s psyche wounds.

Notably, the latest neuroscience supports some of Jung’s observations. The subconscious mind can operate outside of conscious awareness, for example, and we do have the ability to heal our brain with self-directed methods of neuroplasticity.

The most painful wound in the Western psyche?

The selling of ideals for romantic love is a multibillion-dollar industry. While these notions contain elements of authentic love, they largely consist of myths, social order politics, and certain either-or thinking patterns known to jam the brain and body’s communication network.

Why the paralyzing effect?

Simply put, this thinking has attributes of belief systems known to jam the reflective thinking processes of the human brain with … fear. Only fear can paralyze the otherwise remarkable abilities of the human brain to reflectively think, learn, understand, empathize, thus, help partners form vibrant, mutually enriching couple relationships.

True love is an act of will that often transcends ephemeral feelings of love…it is correct to say, ‘Love is as love does.’” ~  SCOTT PECK

Romanticized ideals for love, and romantic love that leads to long term healthy companionship love with all the trimmings, produce two dramatically different outcomes.

Many of the futile attempts of partners to get the love they want in their couple relationships today have to do with “romanticized love” ideals, infused into Western society during the Middle Ages. These ideals, in effect, impose unfair expectations on men and women alike, with regard to what it means to be a “successful” man or woman.

Whereas romantic attraction may form the basis of initiating an interpersonal bond from which authentic love is a possibility, in and of itself, romanticized love defines love in a way that puts each person’s fulfillment in the hands of the other, thus, sparking an obsessive, watchful focus on the other as a love object, a potential setup for addictive relating, love and sex addiction.

A few decades ago the idea of love as an addiction seemed absurd and controversial.