Commitment

The Art of Subtle Seduction Part 2

Then we enjoy.


Linda: Even though Jordan and Mary had a history of both being manipulative and self-centered in the past, which got them stuck in a power struggle, they got to work and began to re-instill trust. They practiced disengaging from any sexual agenda. Jordan began giving her a very high level of focused, caring attention.

He began to understand how important it was to look deeply into Mary’s experience. He realized that he didn’t really know her...
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Commitment

Mastering the Art of Subtle Seduction

At first we may struggle.
Linda: There are common pitfalls that contribute to a diminishment of interest in sex in many long-term relationships. Such diminishment is neither natural nor inevitable. We are challenged to identify ways of responding to and neutralizing problematic situations that can, if unchecked, lead to sexual difficulties. One of the most prominent instances where longing for connection shows up in a vivid way is the sexual experience, because it's the place where we're...
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General

Myth: I’m Too Old to Find Love

Finding a sweet love.
Linda: I first heard this story from Sonia Choquete. It is a true story about a woman in her seventies who came to have a psychic consultation with Sonia in Chicago. The woman’s husband had recently died, and she was looking at her life ahead. During the consultation, the woman confided to Sonia that she wanted to move to Sedona, Arizona, and her daughters were not supportive of her plan. They...
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Commitment

Island Wisdom

Are you willing to dare to make some changes?


The Story of the Caribbean Fisherman
In the islands they tell the story of the American who was traveling through


the Caribbean on business. On one of his stops he walked along the beach one afternoon just in time to see one of the natives pull his small boat up along a little wooden pier, pull the catch of the day lazily into the bow, and then crawl into...
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Communication

Grit And How to Grow It

20 ways to grow grit.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”--Henry Ford Linda: I confess to having great admiration and sometimes envy towards people who have experienced great success in their chosen field, not matter what it is. I sometimes wonder if I could ever achieve that kind of greatness and wonder about what differentiates them from those who are accomplished, but to a more moderate degree.
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Communication

A Great Way to Expand Your Capacity for Joy

And diminish envy at the same time.


“Who is the happiest of man? He who values the merits of others and in their pleasure takes joy, even though it was his own.” Goethe

Linda: Great relationships are characterized by sympathetic joy. The definition of sympathetic joy, according to Wikipedia, is a translation of the Pali and Sanskrit word Muditā “the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being.” It is characterized by sharing positive feelings with another,...
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Commitment

The Grudge Holder and the Guilt Catcher

Linda: For several years, this couple had a moderate level of satisfaction in their marriage even though they lived a financially marginal lifestyle. Pat worked full time, and Bob was in business for himself. Bob was not adept at handling the financial end of his business, and yet he longed to get ahead enough to own a home of his own. Pat’s father died, leaving her an inheritance. She decided to invest the money into a real estate venture with a trusted woman friend. Bob had said that it was Pat’s money to do with what she wanted, but he was seething that she did not use that money as a down payment for a home for their family.
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Commitment

Getting Serious About Your Marriage Is No Joke

Linda: So this couple walks into a marriage counselor’s office and the wife is crying about feeling neglected. Really wailing, she tells the marriage counselor that they don’t sit down to meals much anymore. They don’t go anywhere and have any fun. She feels like a maid around the house. Sex? It’s been years! And not only is intimacy a thing of the past, they don’t even talk any more! Sobbing, she tells the therapist: “I can’t go on this way.”
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Commitment

The Myth of “I Should Have Done Better”

Try a bit of compassion instead “When we know better, we do better.” --Maya Angelou Linda: I’m from the school of thought that we are all doing the best we can with the level of consciousness that we have achieved at any give time. People do all manner of things that hurt others and that hurt themselves, but it’s because they haven’t yet learned to operate differently. They may not be healed from past emotional wounds. They may be repeating unskillful behaviors they learned from their families. They may not have cultivated strengths such as courage, patience, self-discipline, or patience, that allow them to be successful in their relationships and careers. And they haven’t yet learned to use the tools of communication and negotiation. But I’m convinced that we are all doing the best we can with what we know.
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General

The Myth of the Perfect Partner

Linda: There are common pitfalls that contribute to a diminishment of interest in sex in many long-term relationships. Such diminishment is neither natural nor inevitable. We are challenged to identify ways of responding to and neutralizing problematic situations that can, if unchecked, lead to sexual difficulties. One of the most prominent instances where longing for connection shows up in a vivid way is the sexual experience, because it's the place where we're most vulnerable. When we want to connect and we're missing each other, when we are heart to heart and body-to-body, literally naked, and to not be able to find our way with each other, it is terribly painful.
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