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Divorce and Giving It Away

The Psychology of Women welcomes Lauren Bittner to the Giveaway Girl project. Lauren is an award-winning freelance writer who focuses on women's issues. She is a self-titled Giveaway Girl. Today, Lauren offers insight into the difficulties of divorce as seen through her interviews with women and the professionals guiding them.
Like many of you, I know what it’s like to be a Giveaway Girl. I am...
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Men Have Trouble Expressing Their Emotions

Men have difficulty expressing their emotions.

Steady Eddie tells his wife everything is fine and never complains. He never gets upset about anything. He doesn’t really get that excited about anything either. When his wife asks him if he is worried about his job when the company gets taken over and everybody’s job is getting slashed, he shakes his head no and responds with an “It is what it is.” Weirdly, he...
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Why Don’t You Want Me?

Why don’t you want me?

Is there something inherently wrong with this car because I didn't want it?

I went car shopping recently. I needed an automobile that fit certain requirements: Space to carry ___ number of people, good gas mileage, particular price, small enough to maneuver from alley into garage and vice versa. I found a few cars that matched. I looked at them. I drove them. Some I liked. Some...
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New Year Perspectives: No, You Will Never Have That Kind of Positive Self-Esteem

The author, Cherilynn Veland.

The New Year brings opportunities for new insight, growth, and positive change. I want to share one of my most impactful life lessons.

Years ago, I spoke with a highly regarded motivational counselor and coach about how I could improve my self-esteem. I went on and on to her about how I had been through years of therapy, faced all my fears, achieved my professional goals, but I still did not have the confidence and...
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Expectations and Disappointment During the Holidays

You probably know the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

Does this sound familiar?

Your aunt, your mom or your mother-in-law loses it because you didn’t bring your dish. Disgusted and angry, she rants about a lack of appreciation throughout her lifetime. You and every other family member gets singled out for every bad thing you’ve ever done … “the year you did this!” … “the time you didn’t do that!”

Your friend is a a...
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Are You Feeling Fearful? 5 Reasons Why

Edward Munch allegedly created this famous painting during a panic attack.

Fear feels terrible. I would choose anger or happiness over fear any day.

Do you ever feel fearful? I bet you do. Sometimes people express feelings of fear with statements like: "I feel anxious," "I feel uncomfortable," or "I'm worried."

I feel fear off and on. Sometimes fear dominates my thoughts and feelings. I have gotten better...
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Are You a Rescuer?

One of the common Giveaway Girl traits is rescuing. Author Melody Beattie lists a number of ways in which we try to rescue those around us:

Doing something we really don't want to do
Saying yes when we mean no
Doing something for others even though those individuals are capable and should do it on their own
Meeting people'sneeds without being asked...
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Holiday Hell: 7 Ways to Set Boundaries

Gardens and good haircuts: They must be maintained. Same goes for your boundaries.

The holidays are here. If you haven't had to stand up for your boundaries in a while, prepare yourself for the holidays. There's no time like the present for a refresher course in boundary management.

Respond, don't react. Communicating and decision-making in an emotional state is not recommended unless absolutely necessary. Walk away from a challenging situation if you feel your emotions...
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Cancer, Chemo and Other Ordeals: Nita’s Story

Do you need some inspiration today? After getting to know Nita, I knew I wanted to share her story with readers at PsychCentral. Through cancer, chemo and other ordeals, Nita has kept moving forward, and her ordeals have been very hard.

I have been profoundly touched by Nita. I hope you find her story helpful too. Read Nita's story at Stop Giving It Away.

Learn more about Stop Giving It Away.

Cherilynn Veland, MSW, LCSW, is a counselor and coach based in Chicago. She has been helping individuals,...
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