General

3 Mother’s Day Takeaways for Giveaway Moms

It’s so easy to be a Giveaway Mom in today’s world.
What is a Giveaway Mom?
A Giveaway Mom gives away too much of herself, repeatedly moving her own needs aside to put others first. I get it. It is hard not to do this. I mean, I wrote  a book on it and I still find it super challenging!
The reasons for this “giving it away” are complex. On the one hand, society sends conflicting messages about what it means to be a good mother. On the other hand, we all are influenced by earlier life experience and sometimes trauma. Then there’s our culture and religion too.
I am passionate about letting moms know that they don’t have to sacrifice so much to be a good mom. In my book, Stop Giving It Away, I help moms understand why and how we give it away and more importantly, how to reverse this energy appropriately in our lives.
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General

Relationship Sabotage: 5 Super Unhelpful Relationship Beliefs!



We women do a lot right in the world. However, sometimes we can buy into relationship beliefs that are self-sabotaging. Here are 5 big ones:

1. Words are as important as actions.

As women, we love to hear nice things. We love to talk. We value what is being said.

If you spot a behavior in your mate that annoys or disturbs you, pay attention to it rather than making excuses for it. People tell you...
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General

White Lies Women Tell In Bed

I recently did a post on White Lies Women Tell. It got a good response. Then, I realized there are a plethora of white lies women tell on all kinds of subjects, including sex.

In an article I read in Psychology Today, a researcher named Bella DePaulo, , a psychologist at the University of Virginia, stated that "Although the sexes lie with equal frequency, women are especially likely to stretch the truth...
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General

Are You Struggling With Resentment?



This lil' guy looks (I got this pic at Heritage Coffee. The girl barista had some cool tats!)

"I am struggling to understand what is a normal and reparable level of resentment and dislike of one’s spouse versus what is not."  This is a quote from one of the commenters on my blog. 

The answer? That depends. 

Resentment in relationships results from one or more factors having varying levels of complexity. Some situations warrant outside...
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General

6 Ways To Increase Intimacy & Connection In Your Relationships

I took this pic in Naples, Florida at the arboretum.

Would you like to feel more connected with your partner? If you aren't with a partner right now, you can use these ideas in any relationship (well, most of them). Your kids crave connection, your siblings might too (even if they don't know how to connect with you).

1. Tell them what they are good at or what you appreciate...
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General

White Lies Women Tell

Do you ever lie to be nice and get along? You don't tell it like it is because you don't want to hurt feelings, disappoint or cause conflict.

Giveaway Girls sometimes use little white lies to either cope with or cover for bad relationships, boundary crossings and other dissatisfactions. Are you guilty of any of these white lies?

Oh, no! It's fine.

Giveaway Girls don't want to deal with conflict, so they say something is okay when it is not. For example, your friend asks you to keep her kids at your house after school for several...
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Relationships

Enhance Your Relationship Intimacy Today By Doing This

What is intimacy? It is a feeling of being deeply connected, understood, approved of, and bonded with someone. Do you want that in your life? Most people do. This makes sense because it feels good.

I stumbled upon an article in the New York Times that referenced a study showing exactly how to do that. Interestingly, the study paired people up, then the study participants were  told to ask each other a list...
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General

How to Spot the Giveaway Girl in You

Through my work as a social worker and in recent years as a psychotherapist and counselor, I’ve learned that many of the anxieties and complexities within people’s lives relate to their making decisions based on a codependent way of thinking I call detrimental caretaking (DC for short).
Detrimental caretaking leads people to feel anxious, depressed and unhappy—both about themselves and about their relationships—and to experience job difficulties and an endless list...
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Power Pointers

Are You A Modern Day Cinderella?




Many women model their lives after one of the most famous (and most exhausted) female characters of all, Cinderella — not the glass slipper and ball gown Cinderella but the work-her-fingers-to-the-bone-exhausted Cinderella, who desperately needs a vacation and some beauty rest.

You think you are not working as hard as Cinderella?

When was the last time you took the day off because you felt a cold coming on? (I am not talking...
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Managing Stress

Do You Know An Eeyore? Why It Can Be Hard To Leave The Self Pity Behind

I ran into a girlfriend who was complaining about her Eeyore co-worker.

What's an Eeyore? You may remember from childhood that cute, bedraggled old donkey from Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore was always moaning and complaining. He was determined to not let even a tiny sliver of sunshine into his life. Here's a YouTube with some of Eeyore's best quotes. Do you know someone like this? Here are a few Eeyore quotes:

"If it is a good morning, which I doubt…"

"End of the road, nothing to...
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