What is it that draws you to other people?

Is it how they look, their intellect, their talents?

Some people have a “type” that they are drawn to and who they seek out to build a relationship with.

Starting to consider what you really look for in a partner is crucial to have a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

When we know our personal values, what is right for us, and the ingredients of a healthy relationship, we are able to navigate through a world where lust and immediate gratification are pushed as priorities.

People are also meeting and connecting with each other in different ways, such as online dating sites or social networks, and this can add a new dimension to connecting with others in a meaningful and genuine way.

There are so many different people in the world it can seem like they’re too many fish in the sea for us to choose from.

Where can you start?

A great way to begin looking for love is to consider the three most important things to you when looking for relationships.

  • Physical characteristics
  • Personality traits
  • Intellect
  • Background
  • Talents and skills
  • Interests

Which of these is most important and what specific traits would be appealing within these domains?

Recognizing our own strengths and positive qualities can be helpful when making new connections as well.

Which of these qualities do you feel are your greatest assets that you can offer others? What are people drawn to in you?

Now that you have considered what you are drawn to in others, and what others are drawn to in you, it’s important to consider some essential qualities of a lasting and healthy relationship.

5 qualities of a healthy relationship

Trust – The confidence that we can rely or depend on another person. Knowing they are going to do what they say and that we can rely on them.

Honesty – Being truthful and genuine, and being willing to admit mistakes and uphold integrity.

Accountability – Taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, desires, and behavior. Both parties must deal with their own baggage and issues and not bring these extensively into the relationship.

Safety - Freedom from emotional, physical, or mental harm. We don’t have to be worried from one day to the next how they will act.

Respect – Understanding, valuing, and supporting other people for who they are. Not trying to change someone else or make them do something they don’t want to do.

No relationship is perfect, in fact, even the most compatible and functional people will experience conflict and disagreement in over time.

People simply have different beliefs, values, and expectations that they bring into a relationship, so it’s important to respect diversity and embrace the uniqueness of your significant other.

Learn to appreciate them for who they are and come to value the differences between you.

Photo credit: cessemi

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 0 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.

Trackbacks

Shake Off the Grind (February 11, 2012)

From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (February 11, 2012)

Mental Health Social (February 11, 2012)

From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (February 11, 2012)

M. Price-Mitchell (February 11, 2012)

M. Price-Mitchell (February 11, 2012)

April Lani (February 12, 2012)

Melanie Greenberg (February 12, 2012)

stan stewart (February 12, 2012)

From Psych Central's World of Psychology:
Best of Our Blogs: February 14, 2012 | World of Psychology (February 14, 2012)






    Last reviewed: 11 Feb 2012

APA Reference
Wilner, J. (2012). What Do You Look For in a Partner? How to Find Love This Valentine’s Day. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 2, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/positive-psychology/2012/02/what-do-you-look-for-in-a-partner-how-to-find-love-this-valentines-day/

 

 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • cheap nike air max: Don’t add anything new, work, classes, volunteer activities, etc unless you first remove...
  • Mike: Hopeless, this was posted two years ago. Did things get better? I hope they did.
  • cheap nike air max 95 kids: Cult or Culture Shock You don’t reside in kansas remain in your CO Condition....
  • cheap nike air max trainers: How Gratitude Will Decrease The Pain Of Grief "How can I be thankful for anything...
  • Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP: Hi Joe: Great Blog that invites reflection on those emotions that expand our sense of...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!