Archives for Self-Help Resources

Anxiety

Back to School Blues: How Family Matters

A three year longitudinal study confirmed what family therapists have observed clinically for decades--namely that patterns of family interaction have profound effects on children--both for better and for worse. Here's the bottom line: if you want your kids to succeed in school, build a stronger, more loving family.

Melissa Sturge-Apple, a researcher from the University of Rochester, studied 234 families with 6 year-old children, and followed the adjustment of the kids in their first three...
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Boundaries

Selfies, Sharing & Internet Safety: What’s A Parent to Do?

“Please, just tell me what to do about my daughter’s constant use of her cell phone!”

“My son throws a fit every time I tell him to get off the computer. Please help.”

“How many hours a day should I let my kid be on line? Is it safe?”

Everyone working with kids and teens these days is constantly being asked the same questions and lots more. Questions about cyber-bullying and sexting and Internet safety. About...
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Families

Surviving the Summer Blues

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. -- Edgar W. Howe

Perhaps you have been enjoying your summer, getting extra time to have fun with your kids without the pressure of homework and extracurricular activities. Perhaps not.

Let’s face it, summer is a mixed bag. For working parents who don't get time off in the summer, it...
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Boundaries

Are Your Kids Ruling the Roost? Parenting A Strong-Willed Child

Do you have to raise your voice, lecture or repeat yourself to get your kids to behave?
Do your kids ignore normal, everyday requests when they just don’t feel like listening?
Have you tried to avoid spanking and yelling but nothing else seems to work?
Are you exhausted and upset because your kids seem disrespectful, entitled or ungrateful for all the things you do for them?
 Are you feeling frustrated and defeated despite your best...
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Communication

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate!

I am constantly shocked and reminded just how easy it is to hurt or be hurt by our loved ones due to problems of communication. Communication is supposed to consist of both talking and listening in somewhat equal measure. But regrettably, sometimes there is one but not the other. Sound familiar?

In some families, everyone seems to be talking but no one is listening. In others, members of a couple or family feel alone, left in...
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Brain Research

Laughter Really Is the Best Medicine

"The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." -Voltaire

Although we have known instinctively for millennia that laughter, like crying, can be a powerful antidote to pain and suffering, the scientific world is finally catching up. According to the American Association for Therapeutic Humor, laughter may have a direct effect on the body's ability to fight infections, boosting the number of "killer" white blood cells produced to attack...
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Communication

Do You Want to Avoid the Next Fight?

Most people are now aware that high levels of conflict--loud, angry or bitter fighting--can be tremendously destructive not only to marriages and intimate relationships but can cause lasting harm to the children caught in the crossfire.

As painful as divorce can be for kids, what we know now is that excessive fighting is what troubles kids--whether the family remains intact or not. On the flip side, disagreements and differences go hand in hand with any relationship...
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Anxiety

10 Tips to Help Kids Cope with War & Traumatic Events

"I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, 'Mother, what was war?'" ~Eve Merriam

These are uncertain, turbulent times, colored as they are by fears about war and terrorism. As a result, children as well as adults are experiencing higher levels of stress.

When a flu bug is going around, conscientious parents make sure their child is getting plenty of sleep, vitamins, and a healthy diet to build their immune system....
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Change

Confronting Your Ghosts of the Past: How to Assess Your Relationship

"In every conceivable manner, the family is the link to our past, the bridge to our future." -Alex Haley
If you were one of the lucky people, raised in a happy loving family, you've most likely emerged with many of the skills and strengths necessary to form lasting healthy you are probably NOT reading this blog right now.
Unfortunately, far too many people were raised by parents filled...
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Change

Guidelines for Choosing the Right Therapist–Does the Shoe Fit?

I will never forget a lecture that I heard in 1973 (which says a lot since there is so much that I don't remember). The speaker was the late David Rosenhan, Professor Emeritus, in his popular undergraduate class in Abnormal Psychology at Stanford. Each year, at the end of the term, he gave a lecture about choosing the right therapist. His advice was wise and as relevant today as it was forty years...
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