Parenting is one of the hardest jobs around. Especially here, especially now, in our rapidly moving, constantly changing modern world. Most parents seek out this job willingly and joyfully with the best of intentions. Doesn’t everyone want to raise happy healthy children who grow up into competent independent adults? Of course. So what goes wrong?
It is easy to pick out the parents who are not doing their jobs. These are the parents who have too many problems of their own to contend with–like substance abuse, severe untreated mental illness, domestic violence or highly conflictual marriages, inadequate physical and emotional resources–so that they are clearly unable to provide the nurturing and supervision that all children need. Anyone can understand why children raised in unsafe and chaotic environments are at risk for developing emotional or behavioral problems.
But what about the kids who come from loving homes with well-meaning parents who shower their kids with attention, affection, guidance and opportunities of all kinds. Can you ever love a child too much? Probably not. Can you smother a child with too much love and attention? Yes indeed.
Parents today are far better informed about the importance of forming strong secure attachments with their infants. Babies need to know that their caregivers will meet not only their survival needs but their needs for touch, empathy, and connection. But with every passing year, children also need the freedom to explore independently in order to develop a sense of autonomy.
Finding the balance between the two is an exquisite dance of moving apart and then moving together again, like breathing in and breathing out, stepping forward and stepping back, leaning in and letting go. In my experience as a family therapist, I am seeing more and more parents struggling with the desire for too much closeness, and as a result producing kids–particularly teens and young adults–drowning …
I attended a powerpoint presentation recently, given by a nationally renowned psychiatrist, who provided an excellent overview of modern day psychiatry in America. It was quite disturbing to learn that the most widely prescribed psychiatric drug is Xanax. More bad news is the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reporting a sharp increase in fatal overdoses of prescription drugs. In fact, if you look at the top fifteen most prescribed psychotropic drugs, you will find Ativan (at #3), Valium (#8) and Klonopin on the list as well. If your regular doctor is prescribing them, they can’t be all that bad, right?
Many of you reading this article may not know that all four medications are classified as “minor tranquilizers” and are from the same family of drugs, called benzodiazepines. The first “benzo” sold in America was Librium in 1960, followed quickly by Valium, which was the number one prescribed psych med for most of the 1970′s and is still high on the list. When Xanax became available in 1981, it was marketed as the best drug for panic attacks. Certainly Pfizer did a great job of marketing, making Xanax the big winner–the most popular psychiatric drug in America–but is this really the best treatment for anxiety?
Some of you who are reading this article may currently be taking one of these drugs as prescribed by your doctor. I am a psychotherapist, not a doctor, and I am not offering medical advice here. Rather, I am offering information so that you, as a consumer or interested family member, can have more facts at your disposal. Unfortunately, hugely expensive, clever commercials flash onto our screens daily, touting one promising drug or another for various psychiatric conditions. Given how debilitating anxiety can be, it is no wonder that we reach for something, anything, to fix it.
Without going deeply into the chemical composition of benzodiazepines (such information is readily available on line), they …
I have spent countless hours in deep discussion with both parents and professionals questioning why so many kids are being diagnosed these days with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity (ADHD). Is there some causal contributor in our food or environment? Is it due to changes in parenting practices? School environments? The increase in technology in everyday life? The lobbying power of drug companies? All of the above?
The number of American children leaving doctors’ offices with an attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnosis has risen 66% in 10 years, according to a Northwestern study. ”The magnitude and speed of this shift in one decade is likely due to an increased awareness of ADHD,” explains first author Craig Garfield, M.D., perhaps causing more physicians to diagnose the disorder. Researchers also found that psychostimulants have remained the most common medication, prescribed to 87% of children with ADHD in 2010.
No matter what the reason, it is frightening to think about. Not only are kids being given psychiatric medications at younger ages, more young adults than ever before are now taking ADHD medications, usually powerful and addictive amphetamines like Adderall. In the past four years, IMS Health reported that the number of monthly prescriptions has more than doubled for Americans ages 20 to 39. The use and abuse of stimulants is on the rise.
Far too many kids, once 18 and away from home, decide on their own to get a prescription. Certainly some of these kids have legitimate difficulty keeping up with their studies because of real attention problems. Countless others look up the symptoms on the web and act the part. A 2010 study by researchers at the University of Kentucky compared two groups of college students– those diagnosed with ADHD and others with faked symptoms–and found they were indistinguishable on the standard tests typically given. Once your kids become adults, there is nothing much that parents can do. But, is there anything you can do NOW to stem the tide? I think so.
The Mason family is like so many others that I have seen in counseling. They happen to have two boys–Sam who is fourteen, and Max who is seventeen-but I’ve heard the same story from families with girls. Both parents are particularly concerned about Sam whose grades have been spiraling downward at the same time as his attitude has gotten more irritable and negative. When I ask about both kids’ use of drugs and alcohol, the parents share that they know that Max occasionally drinks at weekend parties and that they found a pipe in Sam’s backpack. They took the pipe, questioned Sam and were relieved to hear that he was just smoking pot–not hard drugs–and only now and then.
I wish that I could say that I was relieved but instead I was alarmed that Sam, and perhaps Max too, was already a regular user of marijuana. In the past few weeks, new studies are adding to what we already know are the serious potential consequences of early marijuana use. What information should all parents have about the serious risks of all drug use in the early teen years? And what can parents do in the face of a national trend towards increased use of pot among teens?
♦ For years, national surveys have shown that marijuana is universally available now to young people who find it easier to buy than alcohol. The most common place to buy pot is at school, especially junior high and high schools, both public and private.
♦ The most recent national survey (the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), an annual survey sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) found that 8.9 percent of Americans aged 12 or older were current illicit drug users, meaning they had used an illicit drug during the month prior to the survey interview. The Partnership Attitude Tracking Study, sponsored by MetLife Foundation, found that 9 percent of teens (nearly 1.5 million) smoked marijuana heavily (at least 20 times) …
Results of a new longitudinal research study done in the United Kingdom led to the conclusion that high childhood IQ increases the risk of illegal drug use in adolescence and adulthood. ”It’s counterintuitive,” said lead author James White. “It’s not what we thought we would find.”
The Cardiff University team looked at data from 8,000 people born in April, 1970. This interesting group, called the British Cohort Study, took surveys approximately once every five years about a broad host of topics. The results, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, found that subjects that tested above average on IQ tests at age 5 were twice as likely to have done hard drugs within the past year, when asked at age 30.
The authors asked the subjects about their use of marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines, ecstasy and polydrug use within the last twelve months as well as about questions about social class, education, and psychological distress.