“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.”  ~John Muir

In my last blog on the growing numbers of kids being diagnosed with ADHD, I wondered out loud about the potential negative effects in our modern culture of things like: too much time spent indoors, too little sun and exercise, too many electronics, and not enough sleep. Rather than dwell on the causes of our problems, let’s consider what we can do to reduce the impact of stress on the lives of both adults and children. Not from a medical psychiatric perspective, but from the perspective of everyday life.

Ask yourself this question: Do you or your kids suffer from Nature-Deficit Disorder?

This wonderful name was coined by journalist Richard Louv with the publication of Last Child in the Woods. His newest book, The Nature Principle: Human Restoration and the End of Nature-Deficit Disorder, offers a new vision of the future, in which our lives are equally immersed in nature and in technology.

What do we already know about the positive effects of time spent outdoors, immersed in nature?

Rachel and Stephen Kaplan, environmental psychologists from the University of Michigan, are internationally known for their research on the effect of nature on people’s relationships and health.The Kaplans got involved in studying the effects of nature back in the 1970s, and since then have done extensive research on “restorative environments” to understand the psychological benefits of time spent in nature and what types of natural environments stimulate health and reduce stress.

In order to work or study efficiently, we need to maintain focused attention on the task at hand–something that everyone struggles with–most especially those with Attention Deficit Disorder or ADHD. Too much focused attention can lead to mental fatigue and increased stress. One remedy for this fatigue is exposure to nature. The wilder the better, but even a little bit helps. Office workers with a view of nature are happier and healthier at work; kids do better academically; hospital …

I have spent countless hours in deep discussion with both parents and professionals questioning why so many kids are being diagnosed these days with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity (ADHD). Is there some causal contributor in our food or environment? Is it due to changes in parenting practices? School environments? The increase in technology in everyday life? The lobbying power of drug companies? All of the above?

What Are the Facts?

The number of American children leaving doctors’ offices with an attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnosis has risen 66% in 10 years, according to a Northwestern study. ”The magnitude and speed of this shift in one decade is likely due to an increased awareness of ADHD,” explains first author Craig Garfield, M.D., perhaps causing more physicians to diagnose the disorder. Researchers also found that psychostimulants have remained the most common medication, prescribed to 87% of children with ADHD in 2010.

No matter what the reason, it is frightening to think about.  Not only are kids being given psychiatric medications at younger ages, more young adults than ever before are now taking ADHD medications, usually powerful and addictive amphetamines like Adderall. In the past four years, IMS Health reported that the number of monthly prescriptions has more than doubled for Americans ages 20 to 39. The use and abuse of stimulants is on the rise.

Far too many kids, once 18 and away from home, decide on their own to get a prescription. Certainly some of these kids have legitimate difficulty keeping up with their studies because of real attention problems. Countless others look up the symptoms on the web and act the part. A 2010 study  by researchers at the University of Kentucky compared two groups of college students– those diagnosed with ADHD and others with faked symptoms–and found they were indistinguishable on the standard tests typically given. Once your kids become adults, there is nothing much that parents can do. But, is there anything you can do NOW to stem the tide? I think so.

What Can Parents …

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If you get the Sunday newspaper, you were probably one of the 33 million subscribers who saw yesterday’s Parade Magazine cover story, “The Secrets to a Happy Family,” by the New York Times columnist, best-selling author and dad, Bruce Feiler. Feiler is perhaps best known for his book Walking the Bible, also made into a wonderful PBS series. I respect the man for many reasons–he is a great writer, an intrepid explorer of diverse cultures and religions, and a deeply committed father. But the article, and other information gleaned from interviews with Feiler, left me worried.

Already poised to be a best-selling parenting book on Amazon, since the book hasn’t quite gone to print, I haven’t gotten a copy yet. Nevertheless, as a mental health professional with more than thirty years of experience successfully helping parents and families to be more loving and effective, I was upset by the article featured so prominently in Parade. Quite a publishing coup, but at what cost to parents and families? Here are some thoughts for future readers to consider:

 What credentials make Bruce Feiler an expert on parenting or on characteristics of healthy families?

Quoted in an interview on his Amazon page, Feiler proclaims,”As for parenting books, the biggest problem is they’re out of fresh ideas.” Step aside, mental health professionals. You have nothing new to offer. Besides, the “old” information, confirmed by thousands of researchers, is, well, old. Which must mean invalid, right?

Unfortunately, this just isn’t true. A body of solid research–and books that outline the findings–are there for the picking, and new studies on healthy families are being done constantly. Important findings are available from resources such as the National Institute of Mental Health, the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, the Pew Research Center, The Harvard Family Research Project (and similar projects in universities around the world). In fact, there are so many professional, competent contributors to this field that the amount of information is overwhelming. They/we are not out of fresh ideas.

Surprisingly, Feiler chose to ignore the usual psychologists and family experts, and instead, as stated in his interview, …

I was thinking about how to celebrate World Mental Health Day today. If I could make a wish that might make the world better for people suffering from mental illness, what would my wish be?

I’m not sure why but my thoughts landed on the ways that mental illness has been portrayed in TV and film. What if we could spread the word about the lessons from the 2007 film, Lars and the Real Girl…

For those of you who don’t know, this sweet, quirky film is the story of a young man suffering from some obvious yet undiagnosed type of psychological disorder that gets in the way of his forming relationships with his peers. He still has all the normal desires of anyone his age but can’t muster up the courage to ask someone for a date. Instead, he orders an anatomically correct sex doll named Bianca and introduces her as his girlfriend to the puzzled community.

I don’t want to spoil the film for anyone who hasn’t seen it. What is touching about the film–and what could inspire people to see beyond a person’s apparent disabilities–is how the whole town treats Lars with gentleness and loving kindness, welcoming Bianca into the community with open arms as though she were a real girl. In order to love and support Lars just as he is, the townspeople generously include her in their daily lives and activities.

Little by little, by being accepted rather than ridiculed or shunned, Lars begins interacting more with people. Not surprisingly, he begins to join the real world of the community. Just as Hillary Clinton raised the notion that it takes a whole village to raise a child, it takes a loving community to support those among us who need extra love and understanding. That is my wish for today.

The Mason family is like so many others that I have seen in counseling. They happen to have two boys–Sam who is fourteen, and Max who is seventeen-but I’ve heard the same story from families with girls. Both parents are particularly concerned about Sam whose grades have been spiraling downward at the same time as his attitude has gotten more irritable and negative. When I ask about both kids’ use of drugs and alcohol, the parents share that they know that Max occasionally drinks at weekend parties and that they found a pipe in Sam’s backpack. They took the pipe, questioned Sam and were relieved to hear that he was just smoking pot–not hard drugs–and only now and then.

I wish that I could say that I was relieved but instead I was alarmed that Sam, and perhaps Max too, was already a regular user of marijuana. In the past few weeks, new studies are adding to what we already know are the serious potential consequences of early marijuana use. What information should all parents have about the serious risks of all drug use in the early teen years? And what can parents do in the face of a national trend towards increased use of pot among teens?

The Facts About Drug Use in America Today

♦ For years, national surveys have shown that marijuana is universally available now to young people who find it easier to buy than alcohol. The most common place to buy pot is at school, especially junior high and high schools, both public and private.

♦ The most recent national survey (the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), an annual survey sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) found that 8.9 percent of Americans aged 12 or older were current illicit drug users, meaning they had used an illicit drug during the month prior to the survey interview. The Partnership Attitude Tracking Study, sponsored by MetLife Foundation, found that 9 percent of teens (nearly 1.5 million) smoked marijuana heavily (at least 20 times) …

Although worries about sex, drugs, and school still top the list when I talk to parents of teenagers, the issue of screen time, video games and social media sites often have parents and teens in bitter battles. What’s a good parent to do?

According to a 2010 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, the average American youth spends eight to ten hours a day on some form of media–often more than one at a time. The Center on Media and Child Health (CMCH) was founded ten years ago as a collaborative effort of Children’s Hospital Boston, Harvard Medical School and Harvard School of Public Health to figure out just how this enormous change in the daily life of kids might be affecting them.

Michael Rich, MD, is a pediatrician whose focus is to study the effects of media on children’s health. He thinks of media the way other doctors think about nutrition, wanting to give parents research based tips on which media are empty calories versus full of nutrients. In order to do so, Rich and his team have examined more than 3400 studies on the impact of media. Not all the results are what you might expect.

For example, Rich and Bickham found that kids who watch TV with friends were often more likely to spend time also doing other kinds of activities with their peers. So quantity is not necessarily bad. On the other hand, kids who spend more time watching violent shows tended to be more isolated. The research does not indicate whether it is the chicken or the egg. In other words, do isolated kids watch more violent TV or does violence cause more isolation? No matter what, parents and therapists should be monitoring the content of kids media and encouraging social engagement of all kinds.

Media late at night can disrupt kids sleep, and too many kids (and adults) are already suffering from sleep deprivation. Neuroscientist Marcus Dworak looked at sleep patterns of boys aged 12 to 14. Researchers asked kids to alternate between watching action movies one night …

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. They to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, are as good as dead: their eyes are closed.”  ~ Albert Einstein

Do you feel that time is rushing by and you never have enough of it? Do you struggle to get a good night’s sleep? Do you suffer from physical or emotional aches and pains? Chances are you have said yes to one of these questions.

Here’s information to give you some hope.

Researchers at Stanford University recently discovered that even a tiny dose of awe can bring a feeling of greater life satisfaction. Melanie Rudd and Jennifer Aaker from Stanford University and Kathleen D. Vohs from University of Minnesota conducted three experiments soon to be published in Psychological Science.

Their findings showed that subjects who felt awe, compared to other emotions, felt they had more time available and were therefore less impatient. Experiences of awe seem to bring people into the present moment.

“Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”  -C. S. Lewis

A family arrived in my counseling office for their first session. Dad looked nervous, Mom looked relieved and the two teenage kids looked like they had just walked into a morgue. Both parents complained of being driven crazy by the constant bickering that went on between the four of them. Did this mean that they had failed as parents?

On the contrary, I thought. When I applauded the kids for trusting their parents enough to fight with them, both teens perked up and began to join the discussion in earnest…

It may be hard to believe, but research has found that teens who learn how to argue effectively by practicing on their parents are far more likely to be able to resist peer pressure down the line. Psychologist Joseph P. Allen and his team at the University of Virginia published the findings of their study of parents and teens, called “Predictors of Susceptibility to Peer Influence Regarding Substance Use in Adolescence.”

The study interviewed 157 kids when they were 13 years old about their biggest disagreement with their parents and did follow-up interviews with the same kids and parents when the kids were in high school. The researchers wanted to know what made some kids more vulnerable to peers pressuring them to use drugs and alcohol and what parents could do about it.

Time magazine’s startling cover of a slender, attractive young mother boldly breastfeeding her 3-year-old son has everyone talking. Not only because of the provocative visual image but because the article is entitled, “Are You Mom Enough?”

Talk about using provocation as a way to get attention. Numerous blogs instantly popped up on the web about how Time‘s bold move proves that printed media can still grab the public’s attention. But at what cost to mothers and soon to be mothers? Do we, as women, need to question our adequacy and compare ourselves to other women any more than we already do?

As a woman, a mother and a family therapist, I was disturbed by the message this article conveyed, at least by the cover.

In a country deeply divided into red states and blue states, President Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage will no doubt become a political hot potato. In the meantime, the psychological and emotional impact of politics on the actual lives of families will get drowned out in the rhetoric of opposing sides.

As psychotherapists working with couples and families from diverse backgrounds, we know first hand how differences about things like religion, politics, values and behaviors can either damage or strengthen relationships. Which way it goes depends on several crucial variables.

First, can family members listen with an open mind to the experiences of loved ones even when they can’t agree? Second, can they develop empathy for the pain of another? Third, are the individuals open to new information and education?