News and Research Articles

2014: Girls Play Dumb
to Make Boys Feel Better

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center for NLP training and personal development.

Teenage boys believe that girls their age should be less intelligent.

Teenage girls agree.

In 2014, teenage boys believe that a smarter, more capable girl makes them less manly.

Teenage girls play along, hiding their intelligence and talents so they don’t intimidate the boys. These are modern day teenagers, grade 8.

girls play dumb

This conclusion came as a result of an extremely unusual research project…


The Common Mental Habit that Creates Negative Cascade of Stress Symptoms

Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

Stress ManStuff goes wrong, right?

There isn’t a fix for that. We live in an imperfect world. The question is, are you doing the one thing that has been scientifically proven to take things from bad to worse?

The simple mental habit mentioned below has been shown to create the following symptoms:

• Chronic stress
• Reactive responses (as opposed to proactive responses)
• Low quality relationships
• Feelings of depression, isolation and despondence
• Lack of sleep

Recent research has pegged a mental habit – rumination – that guarantees low satisfaction, depressed mood and low productivity in people who do it consistently. The context of the study was a work environment, although it certainly applies in other areas of life.


Surprising Reason Why Some Women Seek Affairs

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

women affairsThis focus of the study mentioned in this post is women who were seeking affairs in a particular manner. So, that’s the starting point.

I do not believe this study has credibility outside the specific population of women whose patterns were analyzed.

At any rate, the new look at why women have affairs reveals a provocative scenario, and raises some big questions.

Traditionally viewed, the role that married women are assumed to take when engaging in extra-marital affairs is thought to be driven by the need for love, emotional intimacy and affection.

Conventional wisdom suggests that women stray outside their marriage because they are emotionally dissatisfied.


Silent Treatment Effects on Relationships

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center for personal development.

Communication is the cornerstone to keeping an intimate relationship strong and healthy. However, many couples find the lines of communication come to a complete halt during times of disagreement or conflict. Typically, one partner is making a demand while the other responds in silence.

Sad couple having an argument sitting on bedThe inability to keep the lines of communication open is colloquially referred to as ‘the silent treatment.’ It has been in practice for so long that many individuals may have learned it from watching their own parents interact during arguments or opposing opinions.

It may seem like mere stubbornness on the part of one or both parties, but in truth, behavioral science labels it as a ‘demand-withdraw pattern’, and it is highly toxic to personal relationships.


Research Reveals Positive Feelings Key to Weight Loss

Friday, August 29th, 2014

Yes Word on Scale Lighter Weight LossWith 25% of the adult population of England and 33% of Americans tipping the scales of obesity, researchers are now investigating the psychology of weight loss success and body image.

They want to determine what makes the difference between success and failure, from a scientific point of view. The Technical University of Lisbon along with Bangor University have developed and tested a behavioral intervention program to study the effects of women’s body image on her ability to lose weight.

The results of the research show a clear connection between how a person feels about her physical image and her ability to lose weight. The study, published in BioMed Central’s International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, shows promising results.


Lack of Quality Sleep Could Trigger Suicide

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Alarm clock insomniaOver 14 000 senior adults aged 65 years and older were studied over a period of ten years by researchers from the Stanford University of Medicine. The results of this long-term study drew a troubling conclusion regarding suicide rates among the elderly population.

Published in JAMA Psychiatry, the findings of the study suggest that seniors who have difficulty getting proper sleep were much more likely to commit suicide than those individuals who reported having consistently good sleep and being well rested.


The One Second Self-Esteem Boost (try it)

Sunday, August 10th, 2014

The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem – is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.
Nathaniel Branden

hugs from a young womanSelf-esteem pioneer Nathaniel Branden puts it all in context, doesn’t he?

Your self-assessment is the determining factor in your success. You set yourself up for success or failure. It is your judgment upon yourself that ultimately matters.

Think It Through

Let’s say you were to gain everything in outside world. Yet, at the end of the day, you still had low self-esteem. You have money, fame, cars, penthouse suites, lavish vacations and the approval of millions.

Yet, when you are alone with yourself, you aren’t at home. You’re not comfortable inside your own skin.

You hear a critical voice inside your head all day long. It says:

You should be doing more.
You’re not all that.
You’re ugly.
In spite of everything, you’re still a failure.
So-and-so is better than you.
If only people knew how awful you really are.

Would you be fulfilled by your all your material success?


Can Narcissists Learn Empathy?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

In a recent study, researchers from the University of Southampton and the University of Surrey have attempted to find out whether patients suffering from narcissism can learn to show empathy for another person’s suffering.

Their study, which is being published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, has shown that it may be possible.

husband's attitudeOne of the main hallmarks of narcissism is a lack of empathy for others. This has a negative effect on their personal relationships, social interaction, and social behaviors. In most cases, this is because their lack of empathy means that they are unconcerned with the effect their actions have on others.

For this study, researchers chose to focus on patients who exhibit subclinical narcissism. This diagnosis is given to patients who are psychologically healthy while still exhibiting some narcissistic traits. This form of narcissism is more common than narcissistic personality disorder.

To examine whether narcissists could be capable of empathizing with another person’s suffering, they asked study participants to read an excerpt describing the break up of a relationship. No matter how severe the hypothetical scenario was, high-narcissists did not show any empathy for the subject. This was true even in situations where the subject of the excerpt suffered overwhelming depression.


Take the Quiz:
Are You Attracting Rejection?

Wednesday, July 16th, 2014

enlighten-me-surveys_banner

Enlighten-Me Surveys, sponsored by the iNLP Center, has just released a new quiz – the Rejection Attraction quiz.

This 12-question quiz will assess how susceptible you are to rejection, low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

If you’ve ever wondered:

Am I setting myself up for rejection?
Why do I feel like I don’t belong?
Why can’t I say no?
Why do I care so much what others think?
Why do I criticize myself so much?
Why do I always expect myself to be perfect?


Attached to Rejection:
A Psychological Syndrome

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

For several years at the iNLP Center now we’ve been developing the structure of what we call an Attachment to Rejection.

Understanding this psychological syndrome has been helping people who harbor feelings of rejection, hurt, humiliation, social anxiety, low self-worth and a variety of self-limiting beliefs.

Most interestingly, the insights that come with understanding this model tend to lead to behavioral change, which is very encouraging. It seem that this syndrome operates unconsciously. Bringing it into conscious awareness usually creates an aha moment. New choices come to mind thereafter.

Until now, we’ve only taught about the rejection attachment in our paid course, the AHA Solution. Recently, we’ve begun a new project to publish a clear structure of the syndromes, beginning with rejection.

It’s a work in progress. As we learn more about chronic feelings of rejection and low self-worth, we’ll update our findings. For now, you can view the explanation, signs, symptoms and unconscious workings of the rejection attachment on the following page:

Attachment to Rejection


 

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