News and Research Articles

The One Second Self-Esteem Boost (try it)

Sunday, August 10th, 2014

The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem – is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.
Nathaniel Branden

hugs from a young womanSelf-esteem pioneer Nathaniel Branden puts it all in context, doesn’t he?

Your self-assessment is the determining factor in your success. You set yourself up for success or failure. It is your judgment upon yourself that ultimately matters.

Think It Through

Let’s say you were to gain everything in outside world. Yet, at the end of the day, you still had low self-esteem. You have money, fame, cars, penthouse suites, lavish vacations and the approval of millions.

Yet, when you are alone with yourself, you aren’t at home. You’re not comfortable inside your own skin.

You hear a critical voice inside your head all day long. It says:

You should be doing more.
You’re not all that.
You’re ugly.
In spite of everything, you’re still a failure.
So-and-so is better than you.
If only people knew how awful you really are.

Would you be fulfilled by your all your material success?


Can Narcissists Learn Empathy?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

In a recent study, researchers from the University of Southampton and the University of Surrey have attempted to find out whether patients suffering from narcissism can learn to show empathy for another person’s suffering.

Their study, which is being published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, has shown that it may be possible.

husband's attitudeOne of the main hallmarks of narcissism is a lack of empathy for others. This has a negative effect on their personal relationships, social interaction, and social behaviors. In most cases, this is because their lack of empathy means that they are unconcerned with the effect their actions have on others.

For this study, researchers chose to focus on patients who exhibit subclinical narcissism. This diagnosis is given to patients who are psychologically healthy while still exhibiting some narcissistic traits. This form of narcissism is more common than narcissistic personality disorder.

To examine whether narcissists could be capable of empathizing with another person’s suffering, they asked study participants to read an excerpt describing the break up of a relationship. No matter how severe the hypothetical scenario was, high-narcissists did not show any empathy for the subject. This was true even in situations where the subject of the excerpt suffered overwhelming depression.


Take the Quiz:
Are You Attracting Rejection?

Wednesday, July 16th, 2014

enlighten-me-surveys_banner

Enlighten-Me Surveys, sponsored by the iNLP Center, has just released a new quiz – the Rejection Attraction quiz.

This 12-question quiz will assess how susceptible you are to rejection, low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

If you’ve ever wondered:

Am I setting myself up for rejection?
Why do I feel like I don’t belong?
Why can’t I say no?
Why do I care so much what others think?
Why do I criticize myself so much?
Why do I always expect myself to be perfect?


Attached to Rejection:
A Psychological Syndrome

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

For several years at the iNLP Center now we’ve been developing the structure of what we call an Attachment to Rejection.

Understanding this psychological syndrome has been helping people who harbor feelings of rejection, hurt, humiliation, social anxiety, low self-worth and a variety of self-limiting beliefs.

Most interestingly, the insights that come with understanding this model tend to lead to behavioral change, which is very encouraging. It seem that this syndrome operates unconsciously. Bringing it into conscious awareness usually creates an aha moment. New choices come to mind thereafter.

Until now, we’ve only taught about the rejection attachment in our paid course, the AHA Solution. Recently, we’ve begun a new project to publish a clear structure of the syndromes, beginning with rejection.

It’s a work in progress. As we learn more about chronic feelings of rejection and low self-worth, we’ll update our findings. For now, you can view the explanation, signs, symptoms and unconscious workings of the rejection attachment on the following page:

Attachment to Rejection


Majority Choose Painful Shocks Over Being Alone with Thoughts

Saturday, July 12th, 2014

Do you enjoy sitting alone with nothing but your own thoughts? Or does your mind act more like a personal torture chamber?

Second hand stressA series of 11 Harvard studies has yielded some very interesting findings. First and foremost is this: the majority of people in the study chose to self-inflict painful electric shock over sitting with nothing but their own thoughts for a mere 15 minutes.

These weren’t mild shocks, either. In fact, they were so painful that every single one of the study participants would pay money to escape them. It’s confusing. But the results speak for themselves.


Survey On Instant Gratification: Please Take It Here

Saturday, July 5th, 2014

Special thanks to:

QP-logo-inside

 

You are invited to participate in research on the motivation behind instant gratification.

Click here to take this brief survey. Average completion time is just two minutes.

Learn about your subconscious motivation for instant gratification as you answer the 12 questions. And contribute to the body of knowledge!

In plain English, what is instant gratification?


One Night of Sleep Deprivation Leads to Increased Food Purchases

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

When you have been sleep deprived for just one night, you are more likely to experience a greater hunger for food the following day. You will also be subject to impulsive food buying, according to a new study out of Sweden.

Alarm clock insomnia

A study by the Obesity Society, which was published in the Journal of Obesity, found that there were higher levels of ghrelin, a hormone that increases hunger, in those who had been sleep deprived for a day. Those who had gotten a full night’s sleep had much lower levels of ghrelin.

In the study, the researchers hypothesized that there would be an impact on higher functioning decisions and self-control when shopping for food at a supermarket. Those who were sleep deprived would feel this impact and therefore be more likely to make calorie driven food choices while shopping.

The study indeed found that the sleep deprived subjects purchased more calories and grams of food than they did after having a full night’s sleep. Despite the subjects having a standardized breakfast before shopping during their sleep deprived state and their normal state, the grocery shopping done while sleep deprived resulted in a +9% and +18% increase in purchase of calories and grams of food, respectively.

We’ve heard many times that sleep deprivation is linked to weight gain. This study shows how poor sleep translates into high calorie food purchases, which is a key part in the cycle.

Need to lose weight? Focus on getting better sleep. Here’s how:

It’s easy to suggest sleeping better, but very difficult to pull off if you are the one lying in bed at night, tossing and turning. When your busy mind has a mind of it’s own, it is not necessarily open to suggestion.

This is why you may benefit from learning about your brain’s Default Mode Network (DMN).

The Default Mode Network is the area in the brain that is responsible for ‘self-referential thoughts’ (autopilot thinking). When you are not consciously engaged, your default mode activates. This is when the brain generates thoughts and feelings on its own. When you lie in bed …


Is Second Hand Stress Killing You? Science Proves Stress Is Contagious

Friday, June 13th, 2014

Second hand stressIf you’ve ever felt more stressed out after being around a stressed out person, you are not alone.

A study conducted by the departments of Tania Singer at the Max Planck Institute for Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Leipzig and Clemens Kirschbaum at the Technische Universitat Dresden has found that simply observing someone in a stressful situation can trigger stress responses in your own body.

Stress is responsible for a number of health issues in today’s society, and can be linked to anxiety, depression, and other psychological disorders. This new finding has significant implications, as even the most relaxed person comes into contact with stressed individuals frequently.

During the test, subjects were asked to complete difficult mathematical problems and interviews while performance was assessed by behavioral analysts. During the test, only five percent of the subjects were able to maintain their calm, the others experienced a significant increase in the levels of cortisol in their blood.


Common Form of Expression Doubles Risk of Death

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

imagesEveryone argues from time to time, whether it is with friends, family, or neighbors. While these arguments can be stressful, few people think about the health risks that may be involved if they continue to engage in these arguments. A new study has found that arguing with others frequently may increase the risk of early death.

The study was conducted by a research team from the University of Copenhagen in Denmark. In the past, similar studies have indicated that good social relationships with others can have a positive effect on a patient’s health and well-being. In this study, Dr. Rikke Lund and his team hoped to expand on this previous research and determine whether or not stressful social relationships could call early mortality.

Published in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, the study analyzed 9,875 women and men between the ages of 36 and 52. These individuals had participated in the Danish Longitudinal Study on Work, Unemployment and Health. They were questioned on their everyday social relationships, focusing particularly on those relationships that caused worry or conflict. They then tracked the health of the participants from 2000 to 2011 using the Danish Cause of Death Registry.


Children Become the Negative Names They Are Called

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

A new study confirms what many skilled NLP practitioners have known for a long, long time.

how to overcome shameCalling a child a negative name (regardless of your intention) increases the likelihood that he or she will become that very thing.

For example, a new study conducted by psychologists at UCLA has shown that girls who are called fat by close relatives, friends, classmates or teachers before age 10 are more likely to become obese later in life.

The study examined 2,379 girls living in Washington, D.C., Northern California and Cincinnati. 58 percent of those girls reported being told that they were too fat at or before age 10. Girls were weighed and had their height measured at the beginning of the study, and again nine years later. The study found that the girls who had been told they were fat were 1.66 times more likely to be obese at age 19.


 

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Recent Comments
  • thanks: This is really good advice.
  • Ed: You are quite right. Nothing is wrong with fantasy or porn.This pre – program information is not for myself...
  • Vera: Can someone please explain to me what’s wrong with fantasies or porn? Oh, and with treating your partner...
  • Pen: This article struck a chord with me–reminds me so much of the former husband who was all of the above and...
  • Anne Schoen: You are right on. Very helpful. Give us more ideas to make the relationship super in every way.
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