And our various problem behaviors and feelings serve that purpose.
At least we’d be starting from a practical and productive place.
Instead, most of us start to solve personal problems by complaining. Then we play an endless, neurotic game of cat and mouse with our psyche that leads nowhere. I’ve done my share of this, believe me.
Let’s stop the shenanigans and cut to the chase.
It’s a shame that we so often overlook what’s deep inside of ourselves, in pursuit of external validation. We crave possessions and worldly success. We crave validation from others. Our attention is ever diverted away from what’s going on inside. Why?
Because it’s not a bowl of cherries in there.
As much as we know that, deep down, we are innocent, vulnerable and sweet, there is often a wall of negativity and self-sabotage that stands in the way of our deeper truth.
It is this wall of negativity that you must penetrate if you want to live in touch with your true self. How do you go about it?
When the negative thoughts within harangue you, try these 5 methods for moving past them…
Try it. Take a paper and pen, then begin recording the stream of thoughts that pass through your mind. Don’t attempt to edit your thoughts…just write. When the stream of thoughts is coming to an end, ask yourself, “How do I sum all this up?” Then, record the next thing that comes to mind.
This final thought is a worth knowing. If it is positive, then you’ve just handed yourself a piece of inspiration. If it’s negative, then you now have a negative belief to address that may be getting in your way. Address it!
Complete the following sentence with at least three answers that come to mind:
What I most need to know about myself is….
One of the answers will probably point in a productive direction in your growth as a person. If it’s positive, take inspiration. If it’s negative, find your humility and take on the challenge of dealing with it.
There are people in your life that know you and care about you. When was the last time you asked one of them for personal feedback? Most of us never act proactively to learn from one of the best resources around – other people.
Ask a trusted friend:
What do you think …
Healing occurs from the inside out.
But how do you do it?
The hardest part is squaring yourself what the fact that you’ve got issue. This is difficult for all of us. Our ego gets in the way, neck-deep in denial, and, well, say goodbye to any transforming insight.
In that vein, here are some ways to get your deeper mind to reveal the issues you may need to face. Again, this is the most challenging part of the battle. However, merely shining light on the issues initiates the healing process.
I’ve written another post on how to work with thoughts and feelings on the inside once your attention is there, where it needs to be. Check it out here. It even comes with a free worksheet.
The choice often involves two options:
1. Persist (the tough get going)
2. Quit (which is often a smart thing to do)
It’s difficult to know which is the smarter choice, so I’ve written an entire life skills post about this (it even includes a free worksheet).
For this post, we’ll assume that the smart choice for you is to keep going in spite of how difficult things have become.
Here are four things to remember as you persist in your chosen direction.
1. You’re choosing this.
If you’re working on a goal or solving a problem in your life, it can help to realize the point at which you chose to do exactly what you’re doing. Otherwise it might be tempting for you to consider yourself a victim, which would be really bad news.
If you’re working on a goal, you chose that goal.
If you’re facing challenges in a relationship, you’re choosing the relationship. (Even if it’s your parents or siblings, you’re now choosing to remain involved with them).
If you’re dealing with a challenges at work, you chose your job. Even if it’s unfair, you’re choosing to go along (and it may be a necessary choice).
Getting in touch with the free choice you made – or are actively making – is empowering. Don’t be a victim. It will sap your strength.
2. Asking for help is a noble thing.
Refusing to ask for help denies you access to a world of resources that you need. Chances are there people who want to support you. Are you asking?
Often, we don’t ask for help because we’re too proud. We’re embarrassed that we can’t do it all on our own. This is self-sabotage – a path to failure. If it’s your ego you are concerned about, then you should definitely ask for help when you need it. You’re much more likely to be successful.
3. You have built in resources for this.
Most of us have deeper mental and emotional resources than we typically use on an average day. Is it time to access yours in a stronger, more …
Teenage boys believe that girls their age should be less intelligent.
Teenage girls agree.
In 2014, teenage boys believe that a smarter, more capable girl makes them less manly.
Teenage girls play along, hiding their intelligence and talents so they don’t intimidate the boys. These are modern day teenagers, grade 8.
They want to determine what makes the difference between success and failure, from a scientific point of view. The Technical University of Lisbon along with Bangor University have developed and tested a behavioral intervention program to study the effects of women’s body image on her ability to lose weight.
The results of the research show a clear connection between how a person feels about her physical image and her ability to lose weight. The study, published in BioMed Central’s International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, shows promising results.
I’m thinking of developing a workbook to help people claim and champion the inner adult.
Here’s why: So many of us, myself included, do not simply march into adulthood without getting stuck. We struggle with leftovers from the past.
Emotional habits developed in childhood have a way to sticking to us with some sort of psychic glue. I call this glue psychological attachment.
So, doing “inner child work” makes perfect sense, right? Heal the inner child so you can let go of the pain and angst from days gone by. I agree.
Yet, if we don’t have our minds clearly focused on the prize – emotional freedom, maturity and adulthood – if we don’t consciously develop the skills and mindset of an adult, there is no guarantee that healing childhood pain will yield success in the adult world. It can only help, but there is no substitute for developing adult skills.
The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem – is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.
Your self-assessment is the determining factor in your success. You set yourself up for success or failure. It is your judgment upon yourself that ultimately matters.
Let’s say you were to gain everything in outside world. Yet, at the end of the day, you still had low self-esteem. You have money, fame, cars, penthouse suites, lavish vacations and the approval of millions.
Yet, when you are alone with yourself, you aren’t at home. You’re not comfortable inside your own skin.
You hear a critical voice inside your head all day long. It says:
You should be doing more.
You’re not all that.
In spite of everything, you’re still a failure.
So-and-so is better than you.
If only people knew how awful you really are.
Would you be fulfilled by your all your material success?
Do you want to create irresistible habits that lead to a healthy, happy and long life?
Sustaining long-term, positive habits is beyond frustrating for many people because they sabotage their success, sooner or later.
According to Stanford researcher BJ Fogg, the key to success with positive habits lies in establishing desired behaviors according to easy principles that work, while avoiding the top mistakes most people make.
Fogg is Founder of the immensely popular system called Tiny Habits, which has been the focus of much research and publicity.
More 20 years of research while working with thousands of people has revealed the following mistakes people make when attempting to create new habits.
Bad things happen from time to time, do they not?
And it makes a lot of sense to prevent them from happening.
Yet, sometimes the bad things in life just show up.
Does worrying about it help?
If you did not have the ability to worry, who knows what you would allow to happen in your life. It would be dangerous.
• If the company you work for is in trouble, you worry about money.
• If you find a lump under your skin, you worry about your health.
• If you child is failing school, you worry about his or her education.
If you handle the worry well, you allow it to spur you into action. You plan to get a new job, perhaps. You see a doctor right away. You meet with your child’s counselor and teachers. You get on it and solve problems where you can.
Handle worry like this: