Beliefs Articles

Top 10 Mistakes in Making Behavioral Changes (and their solutions)

Monday, July 28th, 2014

Do you want to create irresistible habits that lead to a healthy, happy and long life?

Sustaining long-term, positive habits is beyond frustrating for many people because they sabotage their success, sooner or later.

According to Stanford researcher BJ Fogg, the key to success with positive habits lies in establishing desired behaviors according to easy principles that work, while avoiding the top mistakes most people make.

tiny habitsStanford researcher BJ Fogg has a lot to smile about. He’s helping thousands create positive habits.

Fogg is Founder of the immensely popular system called Tiny Habits, which has been the focus of much research and publicity.

More 20 years of research while working with thousands of people has revealed the following mistakes people make when attempting to create new habits.


21 Signs That Your Worries Are Out of Control

Friday, July 25th, 2014

Bad things happen from time to time, do they not?

And it makes a lot of sense to prevent them from happening.

Yet, sometimes the bad things in life just show up.

Does worrying about it help?

woman low self-esteemWell, worry is a signal that something bad might happen. It’s useful. Worry let’s you know where to direct your attention to solve potential problems.

If you did not have the ability to worry, who knows what you would allow to happen in your life. It would be dangerous.

• If the company you work for is in trouble, you worry about money.
• If you find a lump under your skin, you worry about your health.
• If you child is failing school, you worry about his or her education.

If you handle the worry well, you allow it to spur you into action. You plan to get a new job, perhaps. You see a doctor right away. You meet with your child’s counselor and teachers. You get on it and solve problems where you can.

Handle worry like this:


Can Narcissists Learn Empathy?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

In a recent study, researchers from the University of Southampton and the University of Surrey have attempted to find out whether patients suffering from narcissism can learn to show empathy for another person’s suffering.

Their study, which is being published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, has shown that it may be possible.

husband's attitudeOne of the main hallmarks of narcissism is a lack of empathy for others. This has a negative effect on their personal relationships, social interaction, and social behaviors. In most cases, this is because their lack of empathy means that they are unconcerned with the effect their actions have on others.

For this study, researchers chose to focus on patients who exhibit subclinical narcissism. This diagnosis is given to patients who are psychologically healthy while still exhibiting some narcissistic traits. This form of narcissism is more common than narcissistic personality disorder.

To examine whether narcissists could be capable of empathizing with another person’s suffering, they asked study participants to read an excerpt describing the break up of a relationship. No matter how severe the hypothetical scenario was, high-narcissists did not show any empathy for the subject. This was true even in situations where the subject of the excerpt suffered overwhelming depression.


Attached to Rejection:
A Psychological Syndrome

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

For several years at the iNLP Center now we’ve been developing the structure of what we call an Attachment to Rejection.

Understanding this psychological syndrome has been helping people who harbor feelings of rejection, hurt, humiliation, social anxiety, low self-worth and a variety of self-limiting beliefs.

Most interestingly, the insights that come with understanding this model tend to lead to behavioral change, which is very encouraging. It seem that this syndrome operates unconsciously. Bringing it into conscious awareness usually creates an aha moment. New choices come to mind thereafter.

Until now, we’ve only taught about the rejection attachment in our paid course, the AHA Solution. Recently, we’ve begun a new project to publish a clear structure of the syndromes, beginning with rejection.

It’s a work in progress. As we learn more about chronic feelings of rejection and low self-worth, we’ll update our findings. For now, you can view the explanation, signs, symptoms and unconscious workings of the rejection attachment on the following page:

Attachment to Rejection


What is Self-Love?

Monday, July 14th, 2014

What is self-love?To better understand self-love, let’s compare it to what it is NOT.

The contrast may be clarifying and lead to choices that make self-love a greater possibility for you and me.

Self-love is not self-centeredness or narcissism.

These are antithetical to self-love.

When you love yourself, you understand that you are not just a person, but a person among other people. You get that others are people just like you, with similar wants, needs, hopes, dreams, struggles and challenges.

So, you live your life working to balance your needs with theirs. This is not always an obvious or easy thing to do. Yet, you work at it anyway if you love yourself.


Three Things NOT to Say to Yourself Unless They Are True

Sunday, July 13th, 2014

Mike Bundrant is a retired mental health counselor, practicing personal coach, co-founder of the iNLP Center, co-author of the AHA Solution and author of Your Achilles Eel.

virtualquestionNegative self-talk is one of the most popular forms of self-torture. To one degree or another, we all have to deal with it.

Some ways of dealing with negative self-statements are better than others. In this post, I’d like to show you how to deal with inner negativity by discovering if what you say to yourself is actually true.

And it may be. That’s not a problem at all. The point is to think one level deeper and stop reacting spontaneously to whatever thoughts go off in your mind.

Here are three examples of things you may say to yourself that you can question and begin to weed out the truth.


10 Signs You Haven’t Adjusted to Life Outside the Womb

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

Life outside the womb is pretty good, but it doesn’t come with certain benefits that – let’s face it – we all miss.

For example, outside the womb we aren’t hooked to a magical tube that instantly satisfies our every physical need before we even feel the lack. And there is no warm, everlastingly protective cushion that surrounds us 24/7.

life outside womb

Beyond that, there are other people out here! And traffic sucks.

Still, here we are. Mature people learn to adjust to reality, but there’s no guarantee that these all important adjustments will occur all by themselves.

How’s it going for you?
To help out, here are 10 signs that you need to adjust to life on the outside


7 Sure Signs that Life is
Calling you to Grow

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

crossroad at dawn in rural landscapeThe scariest thing about a crossroad in life isn’t the risk of making a change.

Crossroads are all important times in life when the opportunity to grow is at its highest. And it really can be intimidating. These are times when everything we’ve invested into life seems to be on the line.

But there is something even scarier to those on the path of true growth. It’s that you might miss a turn. You could just cruise right by a critical intersection and not even recognize the opportunity.

Living on autopilot is dangerous because there will come an inevitable day of regret. That day when you realize it’s too late to turn back and do what you were meant to do in life. And…you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.

It’s terrifying and sobering at the same time.

So, the number one resource in your tool kit must be self-awareness. Radical, courageous self-awareness. You’ve got to recognize the signs that life is calling you to make a change; to discover your decision points so that you can shape your destiny in the most constructive manner possible.
The Most Important Crossroad Of All


10 Things Mid-Lifers Must Do To Find Happiness

Wednesday, June 18th, 2014

Mike Bundrant is a retired mental health counselor, personal coach and blogger for some of the top health, mental health and personal development websites in the world.

midlifeYou’re at midlife – and you’ve got challenges.

You’re busy making a living, keeping up with a family, and trying to stay ahead in this crazy, digital age.

If you’ve been working hard at living, chances are that you’ve found a place for yourself in the world, even though it may be an imperfect place.

And, you’ve found your fair share of stress as well. Your relationships can be complicated. You may be overwhelmed with how much you’ve got going on.

You may even be wondering if there is more to life than what you’ve managed to accomplish so far.

Worse, as midlife progresses, doing what you’ve always done to solve problems doesn’t necessarily bring you lasting satisfaction and fulfillment – not anymore.

Not for the special class of challenges that mid-lifers face. In fact, what you’ve always done to be successful may even backfire and create a sense of hopelessness and frustration.

When you find what you really need in your current stage of life, you’ve unlocked an important key to your happiness and continued growth.


Research Reveals Why People Avoid Taking Positive Action

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

woman low self-esteemWe live in a world where success and fulfillment come from taking positive actions. Inactivity leads to failure, emptiness and despair.

Interestingly, if there is one thing that many unfulfilled people lack, it is the ability to take action in the direction of their dreams. This may be why personal development gurus – including those is the field of NLP – preach taking action so ardently.

This may also be why the personal coaching industry exists. People pay to be accountable to someone so that they can get themselves to take consistent action.

Why are so many people resistant to taking action to get what they want?


 

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Recent Comments
  • tammy: I worry all the time.I only worry about my health.I have a condition called factor v.which can cause blood...
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