Beliefs Articles

Punch Failure in the Face: Here’s How

Saturday, January 24th, 2015

Do you want to eliminate all obstacles in the way of your goals?

You can. I’m going to show you how, right here and now. In fact, you’re going to punch failure right in the face and knock it out.

punch3The process begins by recognizing self-sabotage. Don’t worry. It’s all going to be obvious by the end of this post.

Self-sabotage: the truly nasty tendency to do the very thing that hurts you.


5 Signs That You are Depriving Yourself of Happiness

Friday, January 16th, 2015

hugs from a young womanHappiness is the result of choices and so is unhappiness. The problem is, many of our choices happen outside conscious awareness.

To increase happiness, you may need to think outside the box. What follows are four ways we commonly deprive ourselves of happiness. They usually occur on autopilot, without conscious choice.

Once we understand them, we can take actions to remedy the negative effects.

Here they are:

1. Suppressing Positive Emotions

Squashing positive emotions that naturally surface throughout the day is shockingly common. In fact, research reveals that suppressing positive emotions is a common yet little-known cause of depression.

This is actually good news. It means that you do have spontaneous positive emotions that surface regularly. If you learn to avoid chasing them away, then these uplifting emotions might stick around longer.

Pay attention to when you feel positive emotions wanting to rise. Then allow yourself to feel them!

2. When you are happy, you get nervous.

The late Nathaniel Branden called it happiness anxiety. It happens when you become nervous after a period of feeling happy. Many people subconsciously believe that happiness can never last. Something will always come along to ruin it.

So, they preempt the bad news by ditching happiness before they are inevitably hurt or disappointed. It’s sort of like breaking up with someone because you’re afraid they’re going to break up with you.

When you’re feeling happy, reassure yourself that if bad news comes, you can deal with it. Until then, allow yourself to enjoy it!

3. You keep yourself distracted.

Some of us stay too distracted and busy to enjoy much of anything. Happiness seems to be related to slowing down.

Making too many commitments, endless to-do lists, lack of personal boundaries (can’t say no), obsession with your electronic device – all of these distractions may be direct obstacles to your inner state of happiness.

4. Obliterating Happiness Through Self-Criticism

There’s no better way to destroy happiness than to criticize yourself. And the relentlessness of it for some of us is astounding. Self-criticism prevents happiness. And it obliterates any happiness that might slip through the cracks.

Self-criticism may …


Weird Community Of Twisted Ones

Thursday, January 8th, 2015

Imagine being in a community of people where social conformity demanded being genuine in the extreme, not fake.

twisted onesThe norms in such a community would be quite different than what we are used to.

In fact, we’d have to call this community “twisted” according to our standards.

In a community of Twisted Ones, you have to speak the truth about what you really want and where your deepest motivation lies. And it is never a mystery.

Discovering what you want is as simple as looking at what results you have produced.


How to Create a ‘Wake Up Call’ Personal Truth Affirmation

Friday, December 19th, 2014

christian-quotes_truth_blaise-pascal

Photo credit: Josh Fults

Be warned: This is twisted stuff. You may be tempted to think I am a crazy fool for writing such things. I may be. But when you look out at the world – or at yourself – and see people willingly doing all manner of behaviors that create personal misery, you must consider that we need an explanation beyond conventional wisdom.


Three Weight Loss Obstacles You’ve Probably Never Considered

Tuesday, December 16th, 2014

weight loss obtacles

 

Making plans to lose weight is the easy part. Applying those plans consistently is what really matters.

The primary obstacles to consistently applying your plan to lose weight aren’t about knowing what to do. They’re emotional.

Read on to discover three obstacles you should consider as you implement your weight loss plan.


Weight Loss: How Paying Attention to your Emotions Increases Success

Friday, December 12th, 2014

imagesDo you believe you need a better nutritional strategy in order to lose weight?

Research has shown that, chances are very high that you already know enough about how to eat well and lose weight. That isn’t the problem at all!

Our good friend Dr. Jeremy Dean  from the superb PsyBlog points out that according to research, the greater challenge is self-awareness. Those who learn to pay attention to their emotions are much more likely to make healthy choices and lose weight.

In fact, paying attention to your emotions may be the most powerful weight loss strategy of all.

The study’s authors concluded:

“With a better understanding of how they feel and how to use emotions to make better decisions, people will not only eat better, they will also likely be happier and healthier because they relate better to others and are more concerned with their overall well-being.”

People with emotional training choose better foods consistently. And that is the key to losing weight. And here are some additional, equally compelling facts…

6 Facts About How Emotions Drive Weight Gain and Loss

1. Most people with weight issues tend to eat mindlessly. In other words, their underlying emotions determine what goes in their mouths, not their conscious minds. When you increase emotional awareness, you also increase your level of conscious choice.

2. Most people assume that “comfort foods” reduce stress, while this is a scientifically proven fallacy.

3. Most people, after receiving some basic emotional training, are surprised at how easy it is to make better food choices.

4. Most people discover that the negative emotions they experience after overeating are actually psychological attachments that they have been subconsciously seeking (yes, you read that right – we seek familiar negativity all too often).

5. Many people – based on experience in the AHA Weight Loss Coaching Group, have discovered that losing weight is the emotional equivalent of betraying someone close to them.

For example, if you come from a family that tends to be overweight, then there is often a deeply unconscious expectation to be heavy. If you lose weight, you feel …


5 Ways to Reclaim your Dormant Positive Emotions

Monday, November 17th, 2014

Inner Adult

If you believe that negative emotions are the only ones people avoid, consider the following.

A psychological study recently confirmed that depression is not caused by the simple presence of a negative state of mind. There is another huge, overlooked factor.

That factor is the avoidance of positive emotions that you already have.

In other words, each of us experiences natural positive emotions that want to surface every single day. Then, something mind-boggling happens.

When the positive emotions start to rise, they get repressed!


How I Lost All Cravings for Junk Food

Saturday, November 8th, 2014

foodcollage

Yes, I lost my extreme desire for junk food and for overeating as well.

This wasn’t an act of will. And it wasn’t luck, either.

Losing my cravings for bad food – and for too much food – was the result of something else entirely. And that is what I’d like to explain to you in this article.

Before I get started, let me be clear about a few of things:

1.  I am not about to present a magic formula that promises to end your food cravings. I did not go through a step-by-step process.

2.  I don’t promise that you can do what I did, or that it would “work” for you, even if you attempted my methodology and succeeded.

3.  There is no scientific evidence that I know of that supports my claims. In fact, what I did is not even possible to study scientifically.

4.  I am not suggesting that my food cravings will never return. They haven’t, in fact, and it has been quite some time. Yet there are no guarantees, are there?

5.  Finally, there is a good chance that by the end of this article you will think that I am crazy. I accept.

How’s that for reassurance?

In short, you’re on your own. You and only you can decide if what I am about to relate makes any sense – and whether or not to believe me.

Here’s How It Happened

Over a course of years, I have developed a deep awareness of my feelings. I am 47 years old at this point. At age 24, through the course of my NLP training, I learned that I was almost totally out of touch with my own feelings. I couldn’t tell you what I was feeling. I couldn’t admit when I was afraid, frustrated or angry – or happy, joyful or enthusiastic, either.

I was Mr. Cool, Calm and Collected. No feelings required!

Of course “Mr. Cool” was a facade and I ultimately felt like a fake, especially given my chosen career.

When this hit me, I vowed to get in touch. It took some time. More than 20 years later, I …


5 Behaviors that Guarantee Self-Doubt

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

nacadepressionNobody likes self-doubt, but many of us do things that guarantee that it will be a constant in our lives.

We don’t mean to.

In fact, in a string of self-doubtful years, my entire goal in life was to gain greater self-confidence. It turned out that many of my behaviors (that I thought might help) were chronically backfiring on me.

Your greatest tool is awareness of how self-doubt can work. Here are 5 behavior that nearly guarantee that self-doubt will rule your mind.

1. Quick Decisions about Important Things

Marriage, buying a house, making a career change….these are big decisions that help determine your quality of life. It’s amazing how quickly some of us make them.

Getting married after you’ve known someone for a few short weeks.
Buying a house after shopping around for a day.
Starting a business without taking the time to really assess the market and your own financials.


Top 5 Self-Sabotaging Habits to Stop Right Now

Friday, October 24th, 2014

More than 150 people and counting have taken at least one of our new email coaching programs. Hope and I have learned a lot about the self-sabotaging habits that people tend to struggle with.

woman knock outI’d like to share the top 5 self-sabotaging habits with you, with a few key insights about each.

First, a self-sabotaging habit is a recurring behavior that takes us in the opposite direction of fulfillment and happiness. Knowing this, you’d think all of us would simply stop.

Yet, experience with clients and in our own lives tells us that it’s not that simple in practice.

Yes, by all means, STOP your self-sabotage. Just quit it.

And when you can’t seem to get yourself to simply do that, seek education and guidance. You’ll need it. When you just cannot keep yourself from doing things that cause you harm, then you need more information and guidance.


 

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