Archives for Beliefs


If I Speak Up, Bad Things Will Happen

There you are in conversation, holding back.

Of course you see the opportunities to share your opinions, ask questions and be heard. But what if you do speak up and someone gets offended? What if they ignore you? Worse, what if you make a total fool of yourself?

Keep quiet. That's the safest route.

Now, the safe route has problems of it's own. For one, you end up agreeing by default with things that you really don't...
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4 Benefits of Understanding your Core Values

Core values are concepts that fuel your decisions and motivation.

They are words like: health, freedom, security, love, relationships, trust, fun, adventure and so forth.

We turn these concepts into values when they are important enough to have a significant and consistent influence over our behaviors and decisions.

If you value health, then your actions will be aligned with preserving health. If you don’t value health that much, then your behaviors will be less likely to preserve...
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Six Most Shared Happiness Articles of the Last 12 Months

I thought it would be interesting to use 's new content explorer to find the most shared happiness articles in the last 12 months.

This cool new search engine identifies the web's top content based on quantity of social media shares.

There are some real gems in here. If you're in pursuit of happiness, you'll want to check these out. FYI of the top 20 articles, I chose the top six that had to do with personal...
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15 Signs of Emotional Masochism

By Mike Bundrant of the iNLP Center. Disclaimer: By writing this article, I do not suggest that what I am calling emotional masochism is necessarily a conscious choice.

I also do not claim that it is anyone’s fault. I believe it may be part of human nature with origins that pre-date the average person’s conscious awareness.

In my experience, becoming aware of emotionally masochistic tendencies for what they are is a rare phenomenon, even though such tendencies appear to be common.

Defined as the enjoyment of what appears to be painful or tiresome, masochism seems quite a stretch for most people.
How can one possibly find pleasure in pain?
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How to Let Someone Love You: 10 Key Insights

Have you realized that you need to consciously allow another person to love you?

If you’re not used to being loved, your default position may be to push people away. For example, a reader recently wrote:

I got really close to someone, then I did what I always do, I found the nearest exit and sprinted away to the single life.

Been doing this forever. As soon as the other person really loves me, I fight, flee or freeze.

In my family, I never felt good enough and always failed to make my parents proud. Feeling unloved and trusting very few people, I find it's easier to stand alone.

Vulnerability goes against my grain, so when I do fall in love, I never let it last long. For the life of me, I can’t let someone love me!
How do you stop resisting and allow someone to love you?
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Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Brain Chemistry: Evidence

Disclaimer: Although the title to this post sounds like personal growth hype, it isn’t. The scientific research cited is legitimate. The real life application discussed at the end of the article may prove very helpful, but contains a flaw, as you will gather from my self-reported experiments.
If you could push a button in your brain and rewire your bad circuitry, would you?

There isn’t such a button. However, altering beliefs comes close. In fact, beliefs alone have been shown to regulate brain chemistry. Groups of people holding different beliefs exhibit very different brain activity in response to the same chemical.
The Belief-Altering Research
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Double Trouble: Two Bad Habits That Kill Relationships

Your feelings are hurt.

That’s understandable.

What you do at this point could make the difference between resolution and even more hurt feelings.

Take the wrong turn and your feelings will continue to be trampled upon. Your relationship will suffer, according to research.

Take the right turn and you have a chance – a real chance at resolution. Take the right turn consistently and you could have one of the
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How To Handle Two Kinds of Failure

I used to see failure as "me."

If something went wrong, I was the point of failure. Failure was internal, an inevitable part of who I was. I did not know I was seeing myself as failure. If I had known, I might have been able to question what I was doing.

At any rate, this unconscious view was draining. Life was a burden and I was the donkey.

Now, I see failure in one of two ways:
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3 Sure Signs of Inner Conflict


Is it inner conflict that holds you back?

Inner conflict can stop you in your tracks and keep you preoccupied with all the wrong things. Rather than produce real, rewarding results in the world, inner conflict would have you spin out on your inner dynamics.

One of the keys to overcoming inner conflict and it's frustrating symptoms is to identify it. You cannot resolve inner conflict intentionally until you know how it operates in your psyche.

Toward that...
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