If arrogant people told the brazen truth, the following ten justifications might be used to explain their actions.
Here are 10 things they might say:
1. For starters, I am me and you are you. I honestly shouldn’t have to say more, but check out the rest of the list anyway.
2. You have no idea what it’s like to be me. You don’t know what I’ve been through, so you have no right to judge me fairly. Therefore, your opinion is irrelevant and you have no moral grounds to suggest that you are as good as I am.
3. I feel superior to you. You know…? And if I’m feeling it, there is obviously a good reason for it.
4. When you do something stupid, it pisses me off. Okay? Again, there are reasons people have feelings and who are you to doubt what I am feeling anyway? I don’t enjoy getting angry, but I can’t help it when you’re such an idiot. Like when you disagree with me…..seriously.
5. When I screw up, it’s not my fault. My mistakes (And I am sure I make them – I would never suggest that I am perfect) happen because I wasn’t taught well enough by my awful parents. People have been messing with me for my entire life. When you screw up, you are intentionally doing something that you know is morally wrong. Then, you consciously shift the blame elsewhere because you are evil.
6. When I do something that upsets you, I have valid reasons for it. When you do something that upsets me, you have excuses for it. Not acceptable! Man up and take some responsibility for once…
7. You never see my good intentions. All you do is criticize. I shouldn’t even associate with you because I need people who support me, not drag me down. Please try to adjust your negative attitude.
8. Oh yeah, and you NEVER appreciate my good deeds. Like that day I picked up my dirty laundry off the bedroom floor, for example. You’d been bugging me about it for weeks! You have NO IDEA how I hate to be nagged about stupid stuff like laundry. Who cares? I have IMPORTANT things to do in life. Anyway, so I finally DID IT. I picked up the frickin’ dirty underwear and stuff. And you didn’t even celebrate with me. Why should I bother to serve someone who takes me for granted?
9. When you try to convince me of anything, you always end up just staring at me blankly like you can’t believe what you are hearing. You can’t believe it because you just don’t get it. I guess logic will forever escape some people.
10. When you finally pin me down and prove that you are right and I am wrong, I collapse into a black hole of despair, or go nuts and threaten to destroy things and hurt people. If were really in the wrong, none of this crazy shit would happen. I mean, its extreme. And I obviously have no control over it, so you must be violating some sacred law of the Universe or something.
If you do, you know it is impossible to win an argument or reason with them. In fact, continuing to beat your head against this psychological brick wall is self-sabotage. You know what you are going to get before you even begin.
The problem is, this person seems so irrational that you can’t help but hope that you can change them – or that they will see the light. How can they not? Who can be so maddeningly impossible?
People can be this impossible. In fact, it’s common. And all of your efforts at reasoning fall short because you are not capable of making a change in another person.
The more helpful question is, why do you set yourself up to be rejected, controlled and deprived by someone like this? If you know what is going to happen when you confront this person, why do you join in the pattern over and over again?
I understand it’s complicated. You may be financially dependent upon this person. Or you may even fear them physically. Yet, the question remains: What keeps you so attached to the cycles of psychological misery in this relationship?
My suggestion is that you are suffering from self-sabotage if you cannot emotionally step back and keep yourself from walking into frustration with someone who is not open-minded. The solution is to learn how it happens. Learn what self-sabotage is and how it operates in the subconscious mind so that you have new options. Then, you won’t be compelled to hang onto a pattern that makes you miserable – and you won’t set yourself up for rejection and frustration any longer.
To learn how self-sabotage works, watch this free video.
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Last reviewed: 2 Mar 2014