2014I don’t make new year’s resolutions because I am always working toward one goal or another, with varying degrees of success.

So, for me, the new year’s resolution opportunity is no different than any other time of the year.

So, I like to poke fun at resolutions – not to discourage anyone who is feeling particularly resolute – but to have fun and realize that every day is a day to resolve anew, then screw up, then resolve again and keep moving two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward…

Here are 12 funny quotes about new year’s resolutions!

Bill Vaughan
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Jay Leno

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.

James Agate
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

Jim Gaffigan
My new years resolution for 2014? I will be less laz

Joey Adams
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!

F.M. Knowles
He who breaks a resolution is a weakling. He who makes one is a fool.

Quotes by Anonymous

Dear God, my prayer for 2014 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t mix these up like you did last year.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

This year let’s resolve to make better bad decisions.

My excuses for already failing my New Year’s resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.

For my new year’s resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

If you like this post, then like my Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing.

Mike Bundrant is the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Source of Negativity, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage. Click here to learn more.



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    Last reviewed: 1 Jan 2014

APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2014). 12 Funny New Year’s Resolution Quotes for Curmudgeons. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 31, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2014/01/12-harsh-new-years-resolution-quotes-for-curmudgeons/



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