OverwhelmedGuest post by S. Katharine Rivers

If your answer is yes, welcome to the club!

Many of us feel like our lives are too much for us; we’re too busy, too overwhelmed and too tired to ever get to a place of ease and comfort.

It’s a common feeling when you think about it; it’s easy to feel that you’re at the mercy of so many outside factors in your life because you rarely have a day where things run smoothly and effortlessly.

From the minute you wake up to the minute you lay your head on your pillow you’re bombarded with the impact of the world.

Your alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m. and you feel like you could sleep for a few more hours. The world starts yammering at you before you open your eyes; the kids don’t want to go to school or the cat is puking on the rug, your partner is complaining about something.  And you haven’t been to the gym in days.

Just when you finally get to the peace and quiet of your car, with your travel mug brimming with delicious coffee, you turn on the radio and there’s  some tragedy happening somewhere in the world that makes you question what the world’s coming to.

By the time you start your workday you’ve got sixty-eight emails to answer before noon. And today is the day you finally agreed to have lunch with  someone who you’ve been avoiding for weeks. And it’s only Tuesday.

How can anyone expect you to keep up with the insane pace of the world today and not feel overwhelmed and frustrated? How can you not be annoyed every time one more task gets shoved in your inbox? When will you ever have enough time to enjoy your life?

If this sounds familiar, you might be suffering from Victim Brain.

Victim Brain is one of the most common psychological problems today. It’s the voice that says you’re justified in feeling sorry for yourself.

Feeling like a victim is listening to the voice that tells you life is unfair.

The problem with Victim Brain is it doesn’t stop there—it tells you life is unfair and then it justifies being impatient, frustrated or angry. Victim Brain tells you that if circumstances were different you would be different.

It tells you that if the kids would just behave, if the cat would stop puking, if your partner would  stop complaining, then you’ll be happy.  But until then you have every right to be snarky with the slow cashier, annoyed with the dim-witted barista and impatient with the stupid  questions people ask you.

How does Victim Brain work?

Victim Brain tells us that because the world is unfair and because life is hard we don’t have to be kind, we don’t have to be compassionate and we don’t have to behave like adults. It tells us we deserve to feel impatient, angry and overwhelmed.

What if you could live your life without Victim Brain controlling your behavior? What if you could respond to life in a way that made you feel proud of yourself? What if you could find a way to accept that life is unfair and not feel like a victim?

Most of us have Victim Brain because we don’t accept life on life’s terms. We refuse to accept that the world is unfair; we think it should be different.  We think life should be better– it should be easier. Why do we think that?

One of the main reasons we experience Victim Brain is we are trapped in some idyllic version of life that we got from a fairy tale when we were younger, “And they lived happily ever after…”

As children we were brainwashed by fairy tales, television and the movies to think that when we find Prince or Princess Charming life will be perfect until the hereafter. We believed in the love stories, we longed for the perfect ending. We still do.

What if television and fairy tales are wrong? What if the movies are fantasy? What if we have to live with, “And they lived and they struggled for a few years, through good times and hard times, and then they died?”

The secret to being happy…

What if the secret to a happy life is learning to accept life as it is?

Imagine learning to live with a deep and abiding sense of security that no matter how the world impacts you, you can choose how you respond. Imagine finding a way to remain peaceful and easy most of the time. Imagine being kind every day.

The secret to acceptance of life on life’s terms is to live as an active agent of your life. Living as an active agent requires you to live in the moment. To accept each moment as it comes. As an active agent you will learn to embrace life as it comes rather than fight it as it passes you by.

Living as an Active Agent in your life is the core of Reology.

When you live life from the Reology perspective you learn there is really no such thing as Victim Brain. There is a passive approach to life or an active approach. The premise of Reology is that you are the author of your life. You, and you alone determine the meaning of your life.

In the Reology orientation you’ll learn to change your stance, from that of a victim to that of an active agent. Instead of saying, “She makes me feel mad,” you say, “I make myself mad.” Instead of blaming how you feel on the cat or the kids or your partner you’ll learn to stop giving others the power to make you feel or think.

By learning to take responsibility for your own feelings and thoughts you step into life in a whole new way. By being responsible for how you respond to life you are free to be the best you, to be the person you aspire to be.

In Reology you’ll learn that the active point of power is the present. Now is the only time you can change how you respond. When you learn to use language to continually bring yourself into the present moment you have the power to change how you think and how you define what’s happening right now.

How Reology keeps you resourceful in the here and now…

Reology is based on the language ReSpeak that keeps you focused in the moment.

Reology is the practice of learning to live in the moment by changing how you think. Reology will teach you a new language that will allow you to re-think how you define your world and ultimately how you define yourself.

Reology is an invitation to change how you approach your life. If you attend a Reology retreat and learn the language of ReSpeak you will learn to stand peacefully in the center of the storm. You will seek to embrace life from a clear perspective and an open heart.

Learn more about Reology and Respeak by visiting Reology.org, or download the free ebooks, Why Wait to be Happy? and Finding Yourself—A Love Story.

 


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    Last reviewed: 28 Sep 2013

APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2013). Are you Overwhelmed by your Life? Here’s a Solution…. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 22, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2013/09/reology-overwhelmed-life/

 

 

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