SeniorwomanIn a word or short phrase, what is missing in your day-to-day life? If you could add just one thing, what would it be?

If you identify that one thing (for now) then you can get down to brass tacks. In NLP, we use some targeted questions (known in NLP as Outcome Specification) to set ourselves up to achieve what we need. I will demonstrate with a personal example. This is something I discovered about myself recently.

What’s missing in my life?

A sense of being grounded.

What will be my evidence of achieving it?

I will go through my day more slowly, with greater presence and more awareness of my feelings.

If I get what I want, how will that affect the other people in my life?

All good! Can’t think of anything risky here. Mostly, I will be less distracted, more attentive and enjoy being with people more.

What stops me from being grounded right now?

Too much dreaming about the future – too willing to work long hours and spend time online checking my stats!

What resources do I have that will help me become more grounded?

I have studied NLP, meditation, and a host of personal development skills. I have an impressive set of skills that apply.

What sacrifices will I need to make?

Time each morning, afternoon and evening to center myself. My tendency to spend meaningless time online.

What is the first step I need to take?

Choose a meditation and schedule time to do it each day.

Given all of the above, is this worth getting?


So simple. Identify what’s missing. Answer some simple questions and soon you are clear enough to make progress filling the gaps in your life.

You can do the same thing. Just copy the questions and insert your own answers. So many worthwhile things begin with a clearly stated, well-formulated outcome in mind. Good luck!



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    Last reviewed: 18 Mar 2013

APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2013). What’s Missing in your Life?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 18, 2014, from



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