Let’s say that you live with a disappointed feeling in your mind or heart. This feeling tends to accompany you throughout life as if you cannot escape it. When you fail to live up to expectations, you feel the familiar disappointment. When you don’t get things done on your to-do list, you feel it. When you fall short of a goal, you feel that same old familiar disappointment.
What if this is all an unconscious set up, though? What if at some level you are actually seeking that disappointment in order to fulfill long forgotten ideas about yourself and the world? What if someone communicated to you – in some fashion – that you were a disappointment. You believed it (what other choice would you have). Now, you are unwittingly confirming that belief by returning to that old familiar feeling over and over.
You fail to live up to expectations because you have set impossible expectations to begin with.
You don’t get things done on your list because you create an unrealistic to-do list that can’t be accomplished in a day.
You fall short of a goal because the goal was not broken down into manageable chunks, but pie-in-the-sky.
You see? It’s a perfect set up. The unrealistic goals and expectations lead you right back into that old familiar place – disappointment with yourself. Whether or not this is true is interesting, but not the most interesting thing here.
It is more interesting to pretend the above is true and catch it happening throughout the day. When you wake up in the morning say, “Today, my main unconscious objective is to set myself up for disappointment, fail, then recycle that old familiar disappointed-in-myself feeling.”
Then, see if you can catch yourself in the act. If you do, you have a chance of doing something different. Over time, you may …
The study shows that people spend an aeverage of 14 hours a week brooding over the weight, poor relationships, the cost of living and other stressors.
Many claim stress makes it impossible to concentrate at work, only adding to the worry. Additionally, an average of six night’s sleep per month were lost due to excessive worry.
Here are is the list of the top 30 biggest worries.
Top 30 Biggest Worries
1. Stomach/ being overweight
2. Getting old
3. Lack of savings/ financial future
4. Overall fitness
5. Overdrafts and loans
6. Low energy levels
7. Credit card debt
8. Paying rent/mortgage
9. Job security
11. Keeping the house clean
12. Finding a new job
13. Sex life
14. Generally unhappy
15. Wrinkles or ageing appearance
16. Whether or not I am attractive
18. Meeting work targets or goals
19. Does my partner still loves me
20. Whether I’ll find or / are am with the right partner
21. Whether I’m in the right career
22. Friend or family issues
23. Parenting skills
24. Unhealthy reliance or addiction
26. Pet’s health
27. Child’s health
28. Dress sense
29. Worrying I’m ill but yet to be tested/ seek help
30. Partner is cheating/may cheat
Most Common Effects of Worry
1. Sleepless nights
2. Lost confidence
3. Arguments with partner
4. Reduced appetite
5. Poor performance at work
6. Distance from partner
7. Avoided a social event
8. Increased alcohol consumption
9. Got a bit paranoid
Time Spent Worrying
14.31 hours per week worrying
744 hours worrying a year
45, 243 hours of worry in a lifetime
1,885 days of worry in a lifetime
5.2 years of worry
Around 45% of those studied admitted stress and worry had directly affected their health.
Most people have an area of their life that just doesn’t add up. When you factor in all that you know, you just can’t make sense of it.
Why do you do things that are counterproductive or even harmful to your goals and desires?
These are signs and symptoms of self-deception; living in a self-created matrix of illusion.
If you can digest the following mind-bending facts about the human psyche, you may have the AHA experience of a lifetime. Or, maybe it will open a new area of exploration that has potential to explain a lot. I hope it does, because the following serves as the gateway to the matrix. See the entrance. See the exit! Here are the facts:
Children do not have truth/falsehood filters. Whatever parents tell children, they not only believe, but anticipate and act on. This is how Santa Claus manages to stick around.
When kids believe in Santa, they behave accordingly. They write letters to Santa, stay up at night to get a glimpse, leave out cookies on Christmas Eve, try not to be on the naughty list and so on.
We act on what we believe is true.
Enter the first major, hard-to-believe glitch in the program. If you learned only helpful or harmless things as a child, you’d be set up for a lifetime of success. Sadly, you were taught many things that are false.
Here’s the mind-blower: You made these lies pleasurable. I almost hate to be the one to break this to you, but it is true. Children cannot filter out falsehood and they make perceived truth pleasurable. If you did not make truth pleasurable, then you would never act on it. When you are taught that a lie is true, then seeking the lie becomes right and familiar. This combination of traits can turn your whole world upside down. It may be …
An article on an alternative personal development site discusses rejection from your “un-family.” As if some families are not really families at all, but rejection machines.
The un-family article is a little “out there,” but writing that way got me thinking about rejection. When I think about who rejects me the most, family of origin members come to mind. When I think about who might feel most rejected by me, family of origin members come to mind.
Are families the greatest source of rejection?
To the degree that they are, you should learn effective ways of dealing with it, as rejection by those closest to us is most damaging, according to Claire Arene, MSW, LCSW, who said:
Rejection creates a feeling of being unwanted which then reduces self-esteem. The more intimate the relationship in which rejection is experienced, the greater the damage done, and the more challenging it can be to overcome the effects.
Of course, the worst possible situation is growing up with rejection and developing an attachment to it, which is possible to do. An attachment is like psychological gravity – we are unconsciously drawn to something – even something negative like rejection – over and over again, because it is what we learned in our formative years.
This video on attachments sheds tremendous light on three styles of psychological attachments: control, deprivation and rejection. This material is unique!
Who is your greatest source of rejection?
When you have identified this person, then identify whether or not you know how to avoid it. How could you completely avoid being rejected? If you have no idea, then you may need an outsider’s perspective.
If you know how to avoid it, but refuse to do so. If you “can’t resist” getting sucked into the same old scenario, then perhaps you have a psychological attachment that operates unconsciously. You are unwittingly drawn to rejection scenarios because they hold a ton of psychological gravity for you.
This one insight could open the door to an entirely new way of handling those who chronically reject you.
Don Miguel Ruiz, bestselling author of The Four Agreements, shares his latest insights for listeners. You can play or download the February 6, 2013 episode of Mental Health Exposed and hear why we all have reason to be optimistic and enjoy life immensely, even though the world at times may appear to be in a downward spiral.
• The central theme in Don Miguel Ruiz’s work
• Why his books are so popular
• How we can all enjoy life a lot more
• How the mind works
• The Four Agreements
• How Don Miguel Ruiz came to understand the mind
• Why he gave up practicing surgery to learn psychology
• How Don Miguel taught his children to be successful
• The topic of his next book!
..and much, much more
Don Miguel Ruiz is the headliner at the Renew U conference in Los Angeles on February 16, 2013.
After our conversation, Don Miguel told me he was very happy about the interview and asked if I would also interview his son, Don Jose Ruiz, about his up and coming book, The Five Attachments. Stay tuned for that interview in an upcoming episode of Mental Health Exposed.
What’s the connection between food and spiritual awakening? It’s greater than you thought. On the Jan30,2013 episode of Mental Health Exposed, I interview Denise and Meadow Linn, Authors of The Mystic Cookbook: The Secret Alchemy of Food.
This impressive book will open your eyes to the remarkable link between nourishment and spiritual awakening. Filled with ancient wisdom, practical advice, intriguing personal anecdotes, vibrant ceremonies, and original dishes lavishly illustrated with more than 100 color photographs, the Mystic Cookbook brings to life a wealth of recipes and a myriad of experiences from places as far-reaching as Mexico, Italy, Vietnam, France, North Africa, and India–as well as from mystical, legendary, and mythic realms!
In this interview, the authors discuss how the alchemy of food can yield enhanced spirituality, chakra opening, and a variety of mystical experiences. This is one segment you do not want to miss!
In fact, the Linn’s message about food is so unique and helpful that I will be asking them back to do a series of segments for us.
Liam Scheff, frequent guest and stand-in on the Robert Scott Bell show, also joins Mental Health Exposed for the first time on the January 30, 2013 episode to discuss his experience with food and healing. Liam is author of the book, Official Stories, and an advocate of eating a macrobiotic diet. He explains how he used food for personal grounding and opening his mind and heart to greater healing.
And if you know Liam, you know he speaks very openly about his experiences in life!
Are you interested in food and healing? This is 60 minutes of unique education, thanks to Natural News Radio. Join us!
If you’re looking for some scientifically researched ways to relieve mild to severe depression, improve your body image and reduce stress, consider Dance Movement Therapy and the other scientifically validated ideas in this short post.
Some impressive research has been done that indicates Dance Movement Therapy offers a host of benefits, including:
• Increased serotonin
• Stabilization of the sympathetic nervous system (the stressful one!)
• Great neurotransmitter balance
• Improved mood, more energy
University students were assessed during a 12-week study and showed significant benefits compared the group that did not boogie. This study involved mild depression.
Can we assume that there is nothing about Dance Movement Therapy that differentiates it from any other enjoyable form of exercise? I don’t know. Logically, I would assume that any form of consistent physical exercise done over a period of 12 weeks would produce excellent results in cases of mild depression.
What about severe depression?
Can we assume that cases of major depression might be improved with Dance Movement Therapy or another form of physical exercise?
Safe assumption! Here is the research.
If we add a clean diet, plenty of water and a safe amount of sunshine, I believe it improves the potential healing capacity significantly. In fact, major depression has been linked to glucose intolerance. Check it out.
The major obstacle with severe depression is that all of the above require a basic level of motivation to accomplish, especially over a 12-week period. Much of the time, that motivation is simply not there among the severely depressed.
It is as if we could remove ourselves from the mud if we weren’t stuck in the mud.
This is where a firm and caring friend, coach or counselor come in. There are natural solutions. Other people can help. The first step is to simply reach out. Do it.