How to Create a ‘Wake Up Call’ Personal Truth Affirmation

By Mike Bundrant

christian-quotes_truth_blaise-pascal

Photo credit: Josh Fults

Be warned: This is twisted stuff. You may be tempted to think I am a crazy fool for writing such things. I may be. But when you look out at the world – or at yourself – and see people willingly doing all manner of behaviors that create personal misery, you must consider that we need an explanation beyond conventional wisdom.

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Three Weight Loss Obstacles You’ve Probably Never Considered

By Mike Bundrant

weight loss obtacles

 

Making plans to lose weight is the easy part. Applying those plans consistently is what really matters.

The primary obstacles to consistently applying your plan to lose weight aren’t about knowing what to do. They’re emotional.

Read on to discover three obstacles you should consider as you implement your weight loss plan.

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Weight Loss: How Paying Attention to your Emotions Increases Success

By Mike Bundrant

imagesDo you believe you need a better nutritional strategy in order to lose weight?

Research has shown that, chances are very high that you already know enough about how to eat well and lose weight. That isn’t the problem at all!

Our good friend Dr. Jeremy Dean  from the superb PsyBlog points out that according to research, the greater challenge is self-awareness. Those who learn to pay attention to their emotions are much more likely to make healthy choices and lose weight.

In fact, paying attention to your emotions may be the most powerful weight loss strategy of all.

The study’s authors concluded:

“With a better understanding of how they feel and how to use emotions to make better decisions, people will not only eat better, they will also likely be happier and healthier because they relate better to others and are more concerned with their overall well-being.”

People with emotional training choose better foods consistently. And that is the key to losing weight. And here are some additional, equally compelling facts…

6 Facts About How Emotions Drive Weight Gain and Loss

1. Most people with weight issues tend to eat mindlessly. In other words, their underlying emotions determine what goes in their mouths, not their conscious minds. When you increase emotional awareness, you also increase your level of conscious choice.

2. Most people assume that “comfort foods” reduce stress, while this is a scientifically proven fallacy.

3. Most people, after receiving some basic emotional training, are surprised at how easy it is to make better food choices.

4. Most people discover that the negative emotions they experience after overeating are actually psychological attachments that they have been subconsciously seeking (yes, you read that right – we seek familiar negativity all too often).

5. Many people – based on experience in the AHA Weight Loss Coaching Group, have discovered that losing weight is the emotional equivalent of betraying someone close to them.

For example, if you come from a family that tends to be overweight, then there is often a deeply unconscious expectation to be heavy. If you lose weight, you feel strangely that you no longer belong in your family culture

6. When you are in touch with your emotions, you WANT to make healthier choices, so will power becomes much more viable.

If you want to lose weight don’t underestimate the motivation, self-discipline and personal power that comes from heightened emotional awareness. It may be the issue that makes or breaks your success.

Mike Bundrant is Founder of the AHA Weight Loss Coaching groups, which help participants resolve the underlying emotional motivation toward food indulgence and obesity.



5 Simple Steps to Avoid Overeating this Holiday Season

By Mike Bundrant

iStock_000014366093Cookies

When you tip the scale on January 2nd, 2015, what number do you want to see? Your current weight plus 10-15 pounds?

I didn’t think so.

The problem is, so many of us succumb to the desire for immediate, temporary tastebud gratification (even though most holiday treats don’t really taste that great if you really think about it).

How do you get past the sudden desire to indulge in junk?

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5 Ways to Reclaim your Dormant Positive Emotions

By Mike Bundrant

Inner Adult

If you believe that negative emotions are the only ones people avoid, consider the following.

A psychological study recently confirmed that depression is not caused by the simple presence of a negative state of mind. There is another huge, overlooked factor.

That factor is the avoidance of positive emotions that you already have.

In other words, each of us experiences natural positive emotions that want to surface every single day. Then, something mind-boggling happens.

When the positive emotions start to rise, they get repressed!

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How I Lost All Cravings for Junk Food

By Mike Bundrant

foodcollage

Yes, I lost my extreme desire for junk food and for overeating as well.

This wasn’t an act of will. And it wasn’t luck, either.

Losing my cravings for bad food – and for too much food – was the result of something else entirely. And that is what I’d like to explain to you in this article.

Before I get started, let me be clear about a few of things:

1.  I am not about to present a magic formula that promises to end your food cravings. I did not go through a step-by-step process.

2.  I don’t promise that you can do what I did, or that it would “work” for you, even if you attempted my methodology and succeeded.

3.  There is no scientific evidence that I know of that supports my claims. In fact, what I did is not even possible to study scientifically.

4.  I am not suggesting that my food cravings will never return. They haven’t, in fact, and it has been quite some time. Yet there are no guarantees, are there?

5.  Finally, there is a good chance that by the end of this article you will think that I am crazy. I accept.

How’s that for reassurance?

In short, you’re on your own. You and only you can decide if what I am about to relate makes any sense – and whether or not to believe me.

Here’s How It Happened

Over a course of years, I have developed a deep awareness of my feelings. I am 47 years old at this point. At age 24, through the course of my NLP training, I learned that I was almost totally out of touch with my own feelings. I couldn’t tell you what I was feeling. I couldn’t admit when I was afraid, frustrated or angry – or happy, joyful or enthusiastic, either.

I was Mr. Cool, Calm and Collected. No feelings required!

Of course “Mr. Cool” was a facade and I ultimately felt like a fake, especially given my chosen career.

When this hit me, I vowed to get in touch. It took some time. More than 20 years later, I have developed facility with my feelings and am unafraid to confront them, admit what I am going through and deal with feelings honestly.

All the while, though, I couldn’t control my eating. And yo-yo dieting was in full swing.

I wondered one day why, after all I had learned, I still entered an emotional zone of simply not caring about my health. I suffered from health apathy. When I would indulge my cravings, my favorite thing to say was Screw it! Who cares? Then, I’d plunge into the delectable junk.

Why do I not care? Why do I not care? I’d ask myself over and over.

It turns out that this was the wrong question, with no answers that actually helped me stop indulging – or stop craving. When the right question occurred to me, it was a revelation.

I had been studying psychological attachments – those nasty negative motivators that lure us straight into the jaws of misery. So, I began to wonder what negative feelings I was unwittingly reinforcing by my bad eating habits.

I asked myself: What happens after I don’t care and eat too much? What subconscious, state am I feeding?

The answer hit me: Humiliation.

After food indulgence, I always felt humiliated, like I was humiliating myself by my lack of self-control and excess weight. Was I attached to an unresolved feeling of humiliation deep within my psyche? Would that make sense, given my upbringing and choices in adult life?

Yes. More than I can explain.

In fact, I began to notice just how often I interpreted the world in ways that left me feeling humiliated, whether I acknowledged it or not.

• When I’d walk into a room of people, I assumed they would find something wrong with me.

• I insisted on personal perfection. If I made a mistake, especially in public, I’d feel instantly humiliated.

• When I made private mistakes, I was sure that people could tell, wherever I went.

It was like I was bent on finding any reason at all to feel bad, less than and that I didn’t belong.

And I didn’t seem to have a boundary between my thoughts and the thoughts of others. I somehow assumed that I knew what they were thinking – and that I was an open target for their perpetual criticism. It was horrible.

The spare tire around my midsection and the puff beneath my chin were among the high priority targets. I was absolutely embarrassed to go out in public and would suffer through every social encounter.

Not fun.

I was mentally setting myself up to feel humiliated as if I needed it. And, if I am honest, I secretly found a perverse sense of self-justification in all of it. Somehow, it felt right – like this space was where I belonged.

So….I admitted it. I said to myself: All of these years I have been unwittingly seeking out this feeling of humiliation, as if I were addicted to it. I don’t even know how to stop!

Or, to be frank, I didn’t really want to stop.

Then, I took it one mildly insane step further. I made an agreement with myself that if I loved humiliation that much, I’d just give in to it.

I love humiliation! I was raised on it, after all. I’ve been subconsciously seeking it throughout my life, so I’ll just feel it, like it and revel in self-induced humiliation!

As crazy as it sounds, I spent some time really enjoying humiliation. I’d find some reason to feel humiliated and then say: Ooh there it is, that sweet, lowdown feeling that I’ve come to love….

In other words, I STOPPED fearing humiliation.

Rather, I embraced it. Little did I know that this was where the miracle was to begin. You see, humiliation became rather humdrum after a while. I started to think: You know, I could take it or leave it. It just wasn’t a big deal. No reason to avoid it. No reason to seek it out.

And no reason to do anything that ultimately caused me to feel humiliated in the end. That’s when my food cravings came to an end. I’d walk into a convenience store – or my own kitchen – and think: Nah, I don’t really feel like eating. Strange.  And I didn’t feel like it. The lure of ultimate humiliation through food indulgence had passed.

Interestingly, I also stopped obsessing about my weight. I knew the pounds were coming off, but wasn’t impatient about it like I used to be. I didn’t count calories, go on extreme diets or exercise myself into a frenzy.

Given who I am and what I do for a living, I also started introducing this odd approach to my coaching clients. And I recently founded a very different kind of weight loss support group online that I both facilitate and participate in. I knew that if my bizarre discovery worked for me, it would work for many others, too.

This approach is not for everyone, but it works wonders for people who get it. It’s not wrong to think it is ridiculous, of course, but for people who can identify with it, there is a real opportunity to change your life for the better.

It boils down to this: When you discover and embrace the underlying, often twisted motivation for food, you release your attachment to it. Food no longer serves that subconscious purpose. And you are free to enjoy the food you naturally want.

Beyond that, your life greatly improves in other areas as well, as you can imagine.

This is how it worked for me – and for others whom I have mentored. Will it work for you? I don’t know. Maybe it takes believing that it will. Maybe it’s all a grand scheme to outsmart yourself – psychological self-trickery. But it absolutely works for some of us.

And you know what? Life is better because of it. That’s enough for me.

If you want to inquire about our online weight loss support group, contact me via this page. We don’t advertise this group or have a registration page on our site. We screen people who may want to attend to determine appropriateness. So, just be in touch and we’ll figure out if it is right for you.

If you like this article, then like my Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing.



5 Behaviors that Guarantee Self-Doubt

By Mike Bundrant

nacadepressionNobody likes self-doubt, but many of us do things that guarantee that it will be a constant in our lives.

We don’t mean to.

In fact, in a string of self-doubtful years, my entire goal in life was to gain greater self-confidence. It turned out that many of my behaviors (that I thought might help) were chronically backfiring on me.

Your greatest tool is awareness of how self-doubt can work. Here are 5 behavior that nearly guarantee that self-doubt will rule your mind.

1. Quick Decisions about Important Things

Marriage, buying a house, making a career change….these are big decisions that help determine your quality of life. It’s amazing how quickly some of us make them.

Getting married after you’ve known someone for a few short weeks.
Buying a house after shopping around for a day.
Starting a business without taking the time to really assess the market and your own financials.

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Top 5 Self-Sabotaging Habits to Stop Right Now

By Mike Bundrant

More than 150 people and counting have taken at least one of our new email coaching programs. Hope and I have learned a lot about the self-sabotaging habits that people tend to struggle with.

woman knock outI’d like to share the top 5 self-sabotaging habits with you, with a few key insights about each.

First, a self-sabotaging habit is a recurring behavior that takes us in the opposite direction of fulfillment and happiness. Knowing this, you’d think all of us would simply stop.

Yet, experience with clients and in our own lives tells us that it’s not that simple in practice.

Yes, by all means, STOP your self-sabotage. Just quit it.

And when you can’t seem to get yourself to simply do that, seek education and guidance. You’ll need it. When you just cannot keep yourself from doing things that cause you harm, then you need more information and guidance.

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Is Your Pleasure Principle All Jacked Up?

By Mike Bundrant

shrug1The pleasure principle suggests that people seek pleasure and avoid pain. It’s the theoretical motivation behind human behavior. 

It makes perfect sense. Or does it?

Why do people make choices, then, that lead to pain?

For example, a woman has been dating a guy who has shown all the red flags. He won’t admit mistakes. He shows little interest in her. He’s had that angry, dangerous look in his eye more than once.

Yet, she keeps on dating him, upping the ante until his true colors blossom in the form of hurt and rejection.

Or, a man knows that if he just does his duties around the house, his wife will stop nagging him. He knows because he’s experienced this. Yet, he drags his feet, watches TV or tinkers in the garage until she’s so frustrated that she becomes a broken record of nag.

He hates the nagging more than anything. It makes him feel controlled. Yet, he keeps doing the very things that invite more nagging into his life.

Or, you see the plate of donuts and cakes in front of you. Of course, you know that if you indulge, those pastries will leave you feeling bloated and sick. On top of that, you’ll feel like you’ve let yourself down again – like a loser.

Yet, you eat.

What’s going on?

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20 Ways You Might Be Punishing Yourself

By Mike Bundrant

self -punishmentMany issues we face would make much more sense if we simply admitted up front that we feel we deserve to be punished.

And our various problem behaviors and feelings serve that purpose.

Seriously.

At least we’d be starting from a practical and productive place.

Instead, most of us start to solve personal problems by complaining. Then we play an endless, neurotic game of cat and mouse with our psyche that leads nowhere. I’ve done my share of this, believe me.

Let’s stop the shenanigans and cut to the chase.

Continue reading… »



 
 

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