Four Awful Self-Motivation Tactics (Infographic)

By Mike Bundrant • Less than a min read

Is it true that some of the ways we attempt to motivate ourselves lead directly to stress?

It sure is.

Check out this fun infographic that outlines four common methods of self-motivation that may do more inner harm than good.

This is taken from classic NLP strategies. Put this information to use and see for yourself!



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Upgrade Your Brain With These Two Tips

By Mike Bundrant • 1 min read

brain buidlingHave you ever considered that you can build a better brain for yourself? One that is more resilient and less susceptible to emotional ruts?

Research suggests that you can. Your brain is ready to create more connections, work more efficiently, and process emotions with greater ease.


Recent studies show that you can build a better brain by doing two things:

Continue reading… »

Six Most Shared Happiness Articles of the Last 12 Months

By Mike Bundrant • 1 min read


I thought it would be interesting to use’s new content explorer to find the most shared happiness articles in the last 12 months.

This cool new search engine identifies the web’s top content based on quantity of social media shares.

There are some real gems in here. If you’re in pursuit of happiness, you’ll want to check these out. FYI of the top 20 articles, I chose the top six that had to do with personal happiness (not workplace or other areas of happiness).

Top Six Personal Happiness Articles of the Last 12 Months, According to Ahref’s New Content Engine:

1. How to Make Small Talk with Strangers: My 21-Day Happiness Experiment

John Corcoran over at the Art of Manliness generated a ton of social shares with his excellent run-down of how he learned to break the ice with strangers and start up conversations. This is a real-life account that is packed full of experience. Did he find greater happiness through connection? Check it out.

2. The 100-Day Happiness Challenge

Rodolphe over at BufferApp took a 100-day happiness challenge on Facebook. His goal was to post a daily picture of something that he felt happy about. He almost didn’t do it, until he read that most people made the excuse that they were ‘too busy.” Too busy to be happy? Read all about his 100-day challenge.

3. This Personality Trait Leads To Wealth And Happiness; Do You Have It?

Forbes writer Jayson DeMers gives us the straight dope on what it takes to be happy. Are you up for it?

4. Seven Habits to Start in Seven Days to Guarantee a Year of Happiness

Marc and Angel have done it again. Their catchy titles and genuine content keep readers coming back. You can’t go wrong with these seven recommendations.

5. How to Buy Happiness: The Purchases Most Likely to Bring You Joy surprises us with a blatant challenge to the classic maxim that money doesn’t buy happiness. In this piece, they lay out the purchases that are most likely to bring you joy.

6. Chasing the happiness unicorn

Brett Henley over at gives us some much needed reminders about the nature of happiness. Should we be pursuing it to frantically. Read Brett’s sage advice and rethink happiness.

And there you have it. Increase your happiness IQ by checking out these articles. Nothing will forward your personal experience of happiness like greater knowledge of what happiness is and how to realize it.

And don’t forget: Even if you know how to be happy, you are likely to spoil your efforts if you are unwittingly steeped in self-sabotage. Self-sabotage may be the universal happiness destroyer. Learn how self-sabotage operates in your psyche and how to put it to rest.

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Experiment Reveals Simple Secret To Happiness

By Mike Bundrant • Less than a min read

This short video reveals the oh-so-simple thing you can do right now to increase your happiness.

You’ll thank me later.

You’ll get it in the first 30 seconds. Then, watch the amazing results unfold over the next few minutes. At the end, be prepared for mind-blower!

Warm fuzzies? Sure.

But if you’re like me, you might stop short of actually doing it yourself. Well, I beat my negative nature this time and did the exercise all the way through. Amazing. It really is so simple. Why don’t you try it?

Now, to live this way every day, overcome the self-sabotaging tendencies to avoid happiness, that is the real trick.


15 Signs of Emotional Masochism

By Mike Bundrant • 2 min read

By Mike Bundrant of the iNLP Center.


Disclaimer: By writing this article, I do not suggest that what I am calling emotional masochism is necessarily a conscious choice.

I also do not claim that it is anyone’s fault. I believe it may be part of human nature with origins that pre-date the average person’s conscious awareness.

In my experience, becoming aware of emotionally masochistic tendencies for what they are is a rare phenomenon, even though such tendencies appear to be common.

Defined as the enjoyment of what appears to be painful or tiresome, masochism seems quite a stretch for most people.

How can one possibly find pleasure in pain?

Continue reading… »

How to Let Someone Love You: 10 Key Insights

By Mike Bundrant • 5 min read


Have you realized that you need to consciously allow another person to love you?

If you’re not used to being loved, your default position may be to push people away. For example, a reader recently wrote:

I got really close to someone, then I did what I always do, I found the nearest exit and sprinted away to the single life.

Been doing this forever. As soon as the other person really loves me, I fight, flee or freeze.

In my family, I never felt good enough and always failed to make my parents proud. Feeling unloved and trusting very few people, I find it’s easier to stand alone.

Vulnerability goes against my grain, so when I do fall in love, I never let it last long. For the life of me, I can’t let someone love me!

How do you stop resisting and allow someone to love you?

Continue reading… »

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Brain Chemistry: Evidence

By Mike Bundrant • 3 min read

Disclaimer: Although the title to this post sounds like personal growth hype, it isn’t. The scientific research cited is legitimate. The real life application discussed at the end of the article may prove very helpful, but contains a flaw, as you will gather from my self-reported experiments.


If you could push a button in your brain and rewire your bad circuitry, would you?

There isn’t such a button. However, altering beliefs comes close. In fact, beliefs alone have been shown to regulate brain chemistry. Groups of people holding different beliefs exhibit very different brain activity in response to the same chemical.

The Belief-Altering Research

Continue reading… »

Double Trouble: Two Bad Habits That Kill Relationships

By Mike Bundrant • 3 min read

how to overcome shame

Your feelings are hurt.

That’s understandable.

What you do at this point could make the difference between resolution and even more hurt feelings.

Take the wrong turn and your feelings will continue to be trampled upon. Your relationship will suffer, according to research.

Take the right turn and you have a chance – a real chance at resolution. Take the right turn consistently and you could have one of the healthiest, mutually satisfying relationships on the planet.

Continue reading… »

Couples Experiment: Treat Each Other Like Strangers

By Mike Bundrant • 1 min read

Inner Adult

Attention couples: Try this for one day.

Disclaimer: If your partner is not a safe person, this activity may not be appropriate.

Here is the experiment: Pretend your partner is a (safe) stranger. Act like you just met him or her.

Therefore, you don’t really ‘know’ where he or she is coming from. It’s as if you’ve just met…

Why do this?

1. It makes life more interesting.

2. This activity fosters a new boundary in the relationship, which is often a good thing.

How do you treat strangers? More importantly, how do you NOT treat strangers?

With strangers, you typically do not:

1. Assume they are trying to make your life difficult.

2. Get so annoyed by everyday behaviors.

3. Stand ready for an argument.

With safe strangers, you typically do:

1. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

2. Mind your manners.

3. Put your best foot forward.

4. Ask more questions from a place of curiosity.

In other words, with safe strangers, we are typically prepared to be interested and polite. Politeness theory suggests that being polite regulates social distance. When you are enmeshed with your partner, polite distance may be appropriate.

Better yet, we are often curious because we have fewer preconceived notions and no past negative experiences that haunt our thoughts.

Aren’t these attributes appropriate for a relationship of any age? You can go there in your current relationship, regardless of how long you have been together.

This is a fun activity to do together with your partner. And if your partner cannot/will not participate, then you can do this one solo.

So, try it for one day. Or, try it for an hour one evening. Then, tweet about your experience with hashtag:


If you like this article, then like my Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing. To learn about the #1 online couples program, check out the Dating, Relating, Mating program.

Study Reveals Key to Better Decision Making

By Mike Bundrant • 1 min read


A 2013 study published in Psychological Science suggests that understanding both the source and the relevance of your emotions can have a serious effect on how much those emotions can sway your decision-making.

Not only that, this understanding may affect your willingness to take risks as well.


Continue reading… »


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Recent Comments
  • zzizek: I don’t think everything of this is masochism. Some of this points are basicly sadistic. To argue with...
  • Be Brain Fit: Great list! I’ve shared it with my readers. After all, who doesn’t want to be happier? If...
  • Bonnie: The staying with people who hurt you needs to go. It could imply the relationships involved in domestic...
  • Marie Hemel: I do this. In fact my whole family does this, and for every reason you listed. Do you have more...
  • oldblackdog: They all made me smile, too. Better than cats.
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