It's as if someone from the outside has decided to play a cruel joke on a large segment of humanity. From the outside looking in they're saying, "Let's turn up the dial and increase the speed of life for these humans and see how much they can take before they naturally combust." We've fallen into a trance of sorts where there's some warped shared understanding that to be busy means we are productive members of society, needed and important. This is supposed to then make us feel good, but at the end of the day it comes with a terrible expense - increased stress, anxiety, depression, cellular inflammation and less time, value for play and taking care of ourselves. The reality is, if we want to increase the general well-being of our culture we need to stop the glorification of busy. Can we begin to accept that it's also okay to lead a calmer and more joyful life? Can we practice and learn to see others who are doing this, taking time for themselves, playing and finding enjoyment in life and rather than meeting them with judgment, practice seeing their joy and being happy for their happiness? Ask yourself, what would the days, weeks and months ahead be like if there were more people who were encouraging of and genuinely happy for the good moments you experience in life? How would that make you feel? And how would it make you feel if you felt genuinely happy for
Mark Twain once said, “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” But what if we had a way to shrink those worries in just one minute? You likely have the worry in this moment and I'm going to point you to something that can help alleviate it for now. You are going to put your stressful thought in a star... Then just relax your body and watch it drift away... You'll breathe in... Then breathe out... You'll start to understand that you're like is okay and that sense the reality of this thought in the grand scheme of things. This is called Pixel Thoughts, give it 60 seconds and see what you notice.
We’ve all experienced it. It’s the moment we say something and as the last syllables leave our lips our brain has figured out we put our foot in our mouths and reaches to take them back, but it’s too late. The fact is we often time don’t think before we speak. Our words become actions and actions become consequences. Unfortunately the consequences land us in relationship problems, a blown business deal, or just the general reinforcement of unhealthy mind traps. But what if I told you there’s a way to fix this. Just consider, what would the days, weeks and months ahead look like if before we all spoke we considered three questions: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? These a questions that one might say are inspired by the world’s wisdom traditions and have great relevance to our relationships in our families, friendships, business, and education today. In this emerging world where we’re quick to fire off texts, tweets, Snapchats and Facebook messages, it might be more important than ever to
Life is a practice and what you choose to practice is what will make up your character. It's worth considering what you value in life and then making an intention and plan to live alongside those values. This is the direct back to living Ghandi's words, "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." Consider how simple it really is: If you want to be more grateful in life, practice being grateful. If you want to be confident, practice confidence. If you want to be more mindful, practice mindfulness. If you want to be more loving, practice loving yourself and others. If you want to be more forgiving and let go of stress-laden emotional burdens, practice forgiveness. If you want to live essential happiness ingredients such as compassion and generosity, practice compassion and generosity. With this said, no one said it's going to be easy. We are all blessed with this negativity bias in our brains that has kept us alert enough to negative and fearful cues to survive this long as a species. However, this negativity bias steps too far and infringes on us doing what we know inside is the direct path to happiness and well-being. It
I often say if there's two things in life that we can't evade aside from death and taxes, it's stress and pain. Suffering is a part of life, but the mindset we layer over it makes all the difference. I have so many examples in my life, and you may as well, where a difficult time was upon me and that very time was the seed which brought on the growth of the next moment. The reality is, we never truly know whether an experience in life is good or bad because we don't know what's going to happen next. In Uncovering Happiness I write about how the deepest, darkest moment of my life was exactly what inevitably opened my mind to seeking out support that led me to where I am today. It was this very experience, and many more like it, that led me to seek out mindfulness, which
We all have difficult people in our lives, it's part of the human experience. Typically, we tend to see them as a nuisance, individuals we have to put up with, or even avoid. This also comes with it's share of suffering. I'm not familiar with the author of the quote above, but the message is worth being curious about. What if we could change our perception to seeing difficult people as messengers or teachers who arouse something inside of us that needs to be cared for or loved? If we do this, might we become less reactive toward ourselves and other people? Inevitably, won't this provide a chance for more relationships to improve? Might it be easier to let go of bitter grudges and move toward strengthening mindfulness, self-compassion, and forgiveness? This isn't Pollyanna, it's a practical approach that can help us focus more on what matters in life. Moreover, consider this: If relationships improve, might that support communities, regions and countries to improve? Is it possible to set off a spark in this way that leads to not only the healing of our individual being, but the healing of humanity? Whoa, that's a bit too large to imagine perhaps, so let's just begin with today and ourselves. Today, try this...
Even though I have an awareness of my relationship to my smartphone, even though I take measures to limit my use, even though I have strong boundaries with my kids around their usage, if you asked me whether I feel like I have a handle on my relationship to it, I'd give you an unequivocal NO! The more I talk to people about their relationship to their tech, the greater sense of belonging I feel. For most people, every time they see someone reach for their phone there's a bell that goes off in the mind that creates an urge to grab their phone. Every time they're slowing down or waiting anywhere, the idea or urge to check the phone arises. Like an addiction, I know this is unhealthy and yet with all my mindfulness and with all the techniques out there, I struggle with this too. At last I'm finally understanding what this is all about and what to do about it.
Many of us have set New Year's intentions to be more compassionate, but like the mainstream spread of mindfulness, it's often something that's more talked about than practiced. But let this be the moment where we all dig deep from wherever we are to do small things every day to restore a sense of humanity in this world. Really, what would the world be like if we all were more connected with the understanding that we're all in this together. We all want to feel accepted, understood, cared about, that sense of belonging. Allow this video to be a small moment of inspiration: We can all do small things that are focused on daily giving. Here are 10 ideas, or use your own, mix it up it infuses novelty, creativity and fun:
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "Not he is great who can alter matter, but he who can alter my state of mind." I'd have to agree with Emerson. Many of us think that we have control over our reactions, but the reality is most of the time we are walking around reacting to all kinds of things. Our brain is taking in information through it's various appendages (eyes, ears, mouth, legs/arms, nose), translating the information and making decisions of what is good or bad, right or wrong, necessary or unnecessary, urgent or non-urgent, important or unimportant. We only learn about some of these decisions after we've acted on them. Corporations know about this and so they put out subtle cues in the advertising that say "If you don't have (fill in the blank), then you'll be unhappy." Right after Thanksgiving ended I walked into a Target to get a couple things and lo and behold all of the Christmas decorations were up. Immediately I sensed an opening in me, a state of cheerfulness and a desire to shop. There is some kind of Pavlovian conditioning in most of us around this time that borders around spending, spending, spending. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, our economy can always use people spending money on it. We can also view it as a time to be generous and really give to others. However, the real question is who is choosing your state of mind? Is it you or is it the media? Take this as an opportunity to choose your state of mind going into this week and through the New Year. Here are a few steps to make sure you are the one in control of your mind:
The holidays are well under way and what comes with that is the inevitable holiday stress! It can be a not-so-merry time for parents--kids are out of their normal routine, hyped-up on sugar and grumpy after being up too late at holiday parties! Instead of soothing and calming your nerves this year with sugar cookies and candy canes, one of my favorite mindful eating experts and New York Bestselling author, Dr. Susan Albers, recommends these 9 natural techniques from her new book, 50 More Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food. Treat these following 9 techniques as an experiment and see what you learn along the way: 1) Ho-Ho-Ho Meditation: Holidays are stressful and a recipe for stress eating. Close your eyes and do 3 Santa Clause like belly laughs—this is a simple laughing yoga exercise. Laughing yoga has been shown to reduce your cortisol level, the stress hormone that makes you crave sugary, fatty, salty foods. Creating a moment of laughter can be as simple as googling "funny baby videos" or "viral videos" on youtube. 2) Tea Time. Bye-bye pumpkin lattes! Sip Cinnamon tea. Cinnamon is clinically shown to help regulate your blood sugar which can help to avoid sugary treats. Also, the scent of cinnamon is calming and a sweet, calorie free reminder of the holiday. 3) Munch Well. Does simply chewing on something make you feel better? Try gnawing on leftover pumpkin seeds that you dry and roast. Not only is this chewy and will satisfy your need to munch, it contains L-tryptophan which helps to naturally combat depression and the blues.