When struggling with our mental health one thing we can all agree on is that sometimes our minds feel out of control and reactively judging …
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Tammy
11:01 am on
February 11th, 2009I’ve tried to remind myself that “everything happens for a reason” Even truly devastating events. This isn’t always easy and sometimes it almost hurts to try and think this way, but it seems to help me. On the other hand, I’m just starting therapy because I’m having trouble with issues that I can’t let go of, so it doesn’t always work for me.. 
Jane Doe
8:31 pm on
February 11th, 2009I really needed this reminder at this point in my life. I have a tendency to think negative thoughts and I’m practicing mindfulness to redirect those thoughts into neutral or positive thoughts. It is a challenge because my brain defaults to negative thinking but I’ve been making slow progress. Thank you for this article.
Janis
10:07 pm on
February 14th, 2009I think it’s just hard for people to admit that most things happen at random, and that life goes on either way. Best things, worst things … SOMETHING is going to happen one way or another after your ox dies, and it’s a coin flip whether it’s good or bad. It’s just random. We’re surrounded by randomness and looking for patterns; we’re designed to see patterns, so we’re guaranteed to find one.
But in the end, most of it’s just random. That’s hard to take sometimes, and we often try to deny it by looking for reasons for things. There are no reasons for things. If something good or awful happens to us, it’s no different than if it happened to anyone else. It’s random — it’s up to us to MAKE there be a reason.
april
7:02 am on
February 20th, 2009this article tells me not to get stuck on something negative and be carried by emotions.. for that thing may not be so negative.. or it isn’t negative at all.. until we’ll see what will happen next.
Kay Graham
12:58 pm on
March 4th, 2009This story is always fascinating. But I think it goes farther than that. I have come to believe that even within a true disaster is something positive. It can be impossible to see, at the moment, but it is there. I guess my best example of this is Richard Prior who was raised in a brothel by his grandmother (the madame) and his prostitute mother. He caught on fire while doing cocaine, and was horribly burned. What could be good about that? Well, in his agony he reached deep within and found God. This experience changed his life profoundly and he was grateful it had happened to him. Not the kind of good luck you would wish on your worst enemy, but still …
This makes realize again that we can accept the chaos or tragedies of life happen. We suffer we when can’t accept it. At least that’s been a big challenge for me I’ve worked on for years. As one coach said to me, “Surrender to what is”.
Also being mindful of the good things that happen to us. Acknowledge and celebrate those good things. Check out http://www.happier.com for how to start recording the good things that happen to you so you can strengthen your happiness levels.
Barbara
1:39 pm on
March 30th, 2009Just a thought, going through and surviving a crime, has the same effect. My attitudes and decision are more opportunistic/optimistic now than before. Made a lot of lemonade, orangeade, and grapeade… LOL
One wouldn’t think that a childhood of abuse….physical, verbal and molestation….poverty, fatherlessness, etc., etc…..that anything good could come out of that. As a result, I wrote about my life and won a scholarship…..at age 65, I am a freshman! I have also written my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph.
After an abusive marriage of 31 years, I was voted out of membership in a church (because of divorce, etc.) ……with my name up on a big screen, followed by the words: COnduct Unbecoming a Child of God.
The purpose of that nightmare? My website about church abuse poetry therapy with almost 20,000 hits; I had never heard the term spiritual abuse before, and now from the “ashes” of that experience I have been able to help others.
In other words, I have been able to take the abuse of a lifetime (except for 3 years in the army) to make a difference!
When I joined the army, someone said that…..it will be what you make it……..and the same is true…for life!
I intend to eventually get my Master’s in Counseling, even tho I am on my first gen. ed. in social work, which will take 5 years to even join the program… I never give up!
Oh, and the ugliness in my life…..my poetry book, Sanctuary of the Soul (endorsed by Elie Wiesel, Wayne Dyer, Nikki Giovanni, Drs. Alice Miller, Larry Dossey,et al
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