A constant struggle and dissonance with our imperfections may very well be the number 1 issue concerning self-esteem, which opens the door to greater stress, anxiety and depression.

Yes, you can quote me on that. We all have self-esteem issues and the media feeds it. When some of us were young, we felt like we had to be perfect in order to get positive attention or love from our parents. Others became enthralled with the media and airbrushed pictures of models showing what a “normal” body looks like. Or maybe it was the billboards and cartoon commercials showing how happy children were when they had a particular expensive toy that many of us didn’t have.

In some way the message is that we’re defective, deficient and imperfect.

Japanese Zen Buddhist teacher Dogen Zenji has a wonderful quote:

“To be in harmony with the wholeness of things is not to have anxiety over imperfections.”

I often quote the Abraham Joshua Heschel saying: “Life is routine and routine is resistance to wonder.” This quote simply epitomizes how our brains work and why, over time, the things that seemed so interesting or captivating start to lose their luster.

Of course we get disconnected from what matters in life; it’s the way we’re wired. The question is, how do we train our brains to pop out of this auto-pilot and into a space of awareness where the choice points lie to reconnect to what’s most meaningful?

Before reading this blog post, take 10 seconds to take a few deep breaths, be aware of your body here and create a moment of being present. Now, read over this poem twice before moving on.

Here is a poem by 13th century Sufi Poet, Rumi,:

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the door sill
Where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.

Right now is an opportunity (which is really available to us at any moment) to recognize that we may be starting this moment off from a place of auto-pilot, falling into the same old habitual styles of thinking and behaving that we really want to change. This might mean engaging in habits that don’t serve our health and well-being (e.g., drinking/eating too much, isolating, too much TV, too much digital interaction) or with habitual ways of thinking (e.g., negative self talk).

Before Stephen March wrote his thoughts in The Atlantic that Facebook was making us lonelier, there were been several people arguing both sides for years. It’s intriguing to consider how technology is changing how we relate to one another as it is happening.

We’re living in a time of major flux, a real transition in our culture and it would be wonderful if we were aware of what was happening as it is happening. So let’s take a momentary glance at Facebook and the rest of technology that we use every day and see the importance in starting The Great Mindful Experiment.

I want to share with you something that is simple and short. If you’ve been around in this world long, you’ve come to know that, for most of us, making change isn’t easy. Most of us don’t live in communities that are aspiring to help us with our highest aspirations.

That’s why we need support, some kind of reminder that can help us tap into being more mindful and reminding us of what truly matters.

I woke up this morning and in my inbox was my Daily Now Moment called “Elementary Advice.” I have to say, I really enjoy these, what a treat to receive them and get to take it in as a reminder to drop into mindfulness and into what really matters.

Here is the one I received today that I wanted to share with you:

In the west, the concept and practice of learning how to be more present in our lives has enjoyed an exponentially growing audience in the last 10 years. There have been a number of people and books raising awareness of the importance of cultivating greater mindfulness for the purpose of healing great stress, anxiety, depression, addiction, chronic pain and even creating great joy.

However, it wasn’t until now that someone within our own government began working to help transform our society from the inside out, in a recently published book A Mindful Nation.

If you haven’t be introduced to him yet, it is my pleasure to bring to you an exclusive interview with Congressman Tim Ryan as he shares with us why there’s a need for change, who inspires him as mindful change makers, some wisdom from Bobby Kennedy, and the quiet revolution happening in America right now.

Human beings are social creatures and the fact is, we need one another for support and survival in this world. Too often in the midst of our relationships one person says or does something that offends another and a spiral of hurt and grievance begins between the two.

People get so boiled over with anger inside and make a choice not to connect or make amends with the other because “they don’t deserve it.” What we’re missing in this picture is that this grudge, this boulder of anger we’re carrying within us, is actually hurting us!

I have seen it now a number of times. “What was the last thing I said to him before he went out the door?” she asked on the day her boyfriend was killed in a tragic accident.

We’re heard a resounding cry of this years ago during 9/11. Why does it take something so severe as death or threat of injury to bring us back to our senses to what is truly most important…our connections.

Whether we’re in the midst of a storm of anxiety or depression or we’ve come out of the storm but are in fear of relapse, strong uncomfortable emotions can seem like the devil’s spawn that we try our best to ward off against.

For many of us there is a fear that these strong emotions will be overwhelming and lead us back into the great abyss of depression or another round of intense anxiety. However, it is in this very struggle of non-acceptance or non-acknowledgment of this feeling that our misery becomes compounded.

Although our minds believe they are doing the best thing for us, their acts are often driving the exact habitual mind traps we’re trying to neutralize.

What’s another way?

In the years that I’ve been working with people either directly in therapy or teaching mindfulness groups, I have been fortunate enough to witness some wonderful transitions. However, most of us think that’s where therapy ends, and one of the secrets to not only maintaining mental health, but continuing to thrive is by giving back and helping others.

This is what often gets forgotten, but Jeff Bell, author of many books, including Rewind Replay Repeat: A Memoir of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, has an answer that makes this opportunity easy to access.

Today in my inbox I received an email that reminded me to engage in something that has been proven over and again through research and experience to lend our brains toward mindfulness, happiness and connection.

Here is what the email said:

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