Sometimes the most profound statements come out of children’s books. One of my favorite Dr Seuss books is Oh, The Places You’ll Go! It seems to tell the story of what it is like to be human. It brings you through all the experiences in life: the triumphs, the doubts, the confusions, the depressions, the fearful moments and the moments you stare your difficulties in the face and overcome them.
Another fantastic book that goes straight to the truth of it all is We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.
If you haven’t read it, it’s a picture book where a family goes on a bear hunt and they keep coming across these obstacles from tall grass, to swamp, to spooky forest, etc.. and each time they say, “You can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you’ve got to go through it.”
This is life.
As it’s said, life is full of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. Try as we might to avoid those sorrows, we often have to allow them to pass through. Optimally we do this as a training ground to build the muscle of self-compassion.
Here are some powerful anti-depressant and anti-anxiety (and happiness) side effects of Self-Compassion:
I’ve been in the midst of developing the new free e-Course 21 Days of Purpose that is meant to support a key and radically important natural anti-depressant from Uncovering Happiness - Purpose/Compassion. Creating purpose is a process of understanding your personal personal values and how to put them into action in ways that serve something greater than yourself. In developing this 21 day course and starting to go through it, really amazing things have happened for me, the primary one being that this awareness and motivation to live with purpose and compassion is often on my mind.
I love this, it’s really amazing how having giving on your mind creates a feeling of empowerment, connection and happiness.
I’ve been developing an online symposium on Uncovering Happiness where I’m interviewing a number of different people, for example, Byron Katie, Rick Hanson, Dan Harris, Dan Siegel, Sharon Salzberg, Tara Brach and so many others. I’ll launch this sometime in April or May (I hope).
During an interview with Byron Katie she said, “If you have something valuable, you have to give it away, you just have to.”
We can allow our minds to pick that statement apart (and they’ll want to) to find the holes in it, but if you just take a moment and lean into what she is saying here, where do you notice this is true?
How would you feel if you started giving a little more?
One of the primary pathways to an enduring happiness is facilitating a sense of connection. When we feel connected we feel balanced, when we feel balanced, we often feel happy. The problem is
as we grow up in this world, we have to learn how to shield ourselves from vulnerability and so we build up walls or put on armor that make connection more difficult.
One of the most powerful (and challenging) practices to do is look into another person’s eyes for a prolonged period of time as it immediately makes us feel vulnerable. It may not matter whether it’s a stranger or someone you’ve been in a partnership with for over 50 years (sometimes this makes it more difficult). But when we do it, it’s fascinating what arises.
Check out this short video from Soul Pancake to see some of the surprising results of people making connection:
The brain loves to chunk information in order to remember things and there are so many great acronyms that help us remember to bring mindfulness into our lives. I’m going to list a few really key ones and then link you to respective guided practices or posts as a reference to play with them and bring them into your life. Finally, I’m going to introduce you to a new powerful acronym that gets to the point of mindfulness.
This is an all time favorite. On YouTube the recording that I created for A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook has almost 80,000 views because the acronym makes sense and it really helps us pause into the moment and open up to what matters.
This acronym created by Michelle McDonald and popularized and adapted by Tara Brach, is incredible for helping us gain perspective, self-
Did you know that compassion, the act of recognizing someone else’s suffering with the inclination to want to support them, creates important activity shifts in the brain that are associated with resiliency and well-being?
I recently attended a talk at a fundraiser where the presenter, Amy McLaren, had conveyed her story of going to Kenya with her husband and making a deal with a child there that if he shares his report card with them at the end of the month, they would pay for a month of his schooling.
They didn’t expect him to follow through, but after they returned back to Canada, a month later they received a letter with a picture of this boy holding up his report card.
He followed through and so did they.
Every month he would send his report card and every month they would pay for another month of school. Years later this boy is now in business school and has developed
Mindfulness just continues to grow and not only positively influence people’s lives, but is now influencing so many sectors of our society. I can’t help but imagine how it’s going to impact the years that follow (Maybe I’m a bit on an idealist, but I’ll hold that label lightly).
The following is my futurist’s take on The Mindfulness Revolution.
Wikipedia Entry 2050:
“The Insight Age is a period in human history characterized by the shift from a “continuous fractured attention” brought on by The Information Age through technology, to an age based on an expanded awareness, an increasingly ability to harness control of our attention to what matters. The onset of the Insight Age is associated with The Mindfulness Revolution, just as The Digital Revolution marked the onset of The Information Age.
During The Insight Age, the phenomenon is that that the mindful industry creates a present-focused society surrounded by leaders in various sectors spanning their influence on how education, business, politics, healthcare, and other service sectors operate.
In our current culture, the mindful industry fosters insight for individuals to be more aware of their personal needs, increasing
There’s really nothing like the power of a big supportive hug. The body reads a sense of caring in the human touch. When we’re hugged we sense that on a deep level, we are not alone. In some ways it’s a shame that in our relationships with healing professionals hugging is often advised against.
There are so many wonderful stories where hugging has been a healing modality.
The Science and Practice of a Hug
In one study published in Nature Communications, researchers injected
When it comes to our self-critical thinking, Byron Katie has created a brilliant set of four questions to free us from our negative depressive minds. For example, if you say, “I’m such an idiot,” we ask 1) Is it true? 2) Is it absolutely true? 3) What happens when you believe that thought? and 4) Who would you be without that thought? The effect of this is that it objectifies the self-judgment, gives us freedom from it and opens us up to a sense of freedom that’s there. They can be really effective.
When it comes to overcoming longstanding emotional struggles we have to not only get space from the self-critical mind, but also encourage the positive beliefs about ourselves that the critical mind has buried. In one part of Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion I share the following four questions to work with in order to open us up to possibility, install these positive beliefs a bit more and even encourage positive neuroplasticity. In doing this we can become more confident in ourselves and ultimately more resilient (and a bit happier).
I was recently interviewing Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier for an upcoming online symposium on Uncovering Happiness. I really enjoyed spending time with him
rapping about what happiness is really about and why mindfulness and compassion can help inspire it. But one of the things that really made me laugh was when he said it can stop you from being an A-hole.
It’s so true and here’s how.
Our inner voices can be a real pain sometimes, critiquing us, telling us what we can’t do or what will go wrong if we try. We wouldn’t want friends that spoke to us this way, so why do we tolerate these voices? They create irritability which only goes onto reinforce the A-holes in our minds. As I mention in my upcoming book Uncovering Happiness, this is a big part of what drives the depression loop.
In a study a few years back Norman Farb and his colleagues at the University of Toronto published a study that showed how practicing mindfulness meditation reduced activity in the part of the brain associated with a wandering and critical mind. This was
Last week I wrote about Thich Nhat Hanh’s brain hemorrhage landing him in the hospital. The most recent update from Plum Village shows that while his condition is still in a critical stage he has opened his eyes and even reached out to touch the attendant next to him. In continuing this time of honoring his life I wanted to share with you one of the gifts he has given me that I often share with others.
These are the short phrases he weaves into breathing or walking that helps us be more present, loving, grounded, and aware in daily life. If you don’t already, consider trying these out as an experiment in your daily life and seeing what you notice.