There is a tradition on the Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Blog where every Monday I cite a quote or a poem that is related to mindfulness and psychotherapy in some way and then explore it a bit and how it is relevant to our lives. For me, quotes and poetry can often sink me into a state of greater understanding.
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Now, this isn’t meant to be hokey, but real. Plenty of therapies advocate working through our bodies and behaviors as a source of bringing joy and happiness into our lives.
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) there is a piece called the “Half-Smile Experiment.” Here’s the idea:
Take a moment to notice how you are feeling physically and emotionally. Notice if you’re feeling calm, happy, sad, frustrated, guilty, shameful, or excited, etc… Also notice if your body is feeling loose or tense, just taking stock of yourself in this moment.
Now, get a pen and put it in between your teeth horizontally (please don’t try to put it in vertically). Now just breathe in and out and notice the sensations of muscles in your face and also notice any shift emotionally. When thoughts arise, “this is silly” or “why am I doing this”, just notice them as thoughts and come back to paying attention to how you are feeling.
You may want to try this with a friend, then see what happens. Remember, this is just an experiment!
Thich Nhat Hanh often recommends another way to bring smiling into our lives to bring us a great sense of peace and happiness during the day.
He says that when you’re walking, sitting or lying down try saying to yourself,
“Breathing in I calm my body, breathing out, I smile.”
You can shorten it so when you breathin you just say “calm” to yourself and when you breath out, you just say “smile.” Now, if you don’t actually feel like physically smiling you can cast a kind and gently smile inwardly at yourself or some physical or emotional pain you are experiencing.
Try one of these today or off and on throughout the week. See what happens. If or when the negating voices come, just see if you can notice them as habits of the mind and gently bring your attention back to the practice. This helps break us from old constraining mind patterns that are often associated with the depression or anxiety.
As always, don’t take my word for it, try it out for yourself. And also, please share your thoughts, questions and reflections below, your interactions here provide a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.
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It’s interesting to me that I read your blog when I’ve given up on getting better. That seems more than a little contradictory. I suppose I feel comforted by the illusion that if I *did* actually have the motivation to try any of this stuff, it might work–but then I’d be stuck here longer. Maybe it’s just because you write well.
Thank you for your comment Jude. Stay connected and surround yourself with material and people who support you. Then the waves of thoughts that tell you that you don’t want to be here may begin to drift off as you come to terms with the idea that you are not these waves of thoughts, but you are the ocean underneath. Stay connected…
Jude,
As someone who has previously come so close to giving up I can honestly tell you that the single thing that has not only made life better, but joyful every day, is my commitment to mindfulness, particularly Thich Nhat Hahn. My heart goes out to you.
WOW–my DBT therapist just recommended his book of essays. Don’t have the title in front of me right now.
The “half smile” is very useful. Not only does DBT teach this, but also NAMI’s Peer-to-Peer class for consumers (those who have been dxed w/a mental illness) also teaches this exercise.
The mindfulness & skills I’m learning in the DBT class have helped me get off Abilify (needed to physically as I’ve gained 50 lbs. in 12 yrs. on it), lowered my dosage of Lamictal, off Trazodone, Klonopin is not needed regularly at night to get to sleep…
My dx is bipolar 1, acute anxiety & ADHD. Though DBT is designed for “borderline”–therapist had that as a possible dx, but I just told her to take it off my ins. form as the stigma is so great against borderline. For me, it doesn’t matter. I have the symptoms of extreme emotional dysregulation leading to rash & dangerous behaviors (suicide attempts & such) so the DBT skills have been a lifeline to me after having my 1st suicide attempt at 15 & I’m now 55. Last attempt was 3 yrs. ago & started DBT about 9 mos. ago. Not feeling suicidal every day as I did during the last 3 yrs. Finally, I feel as though I can get some control of my emotions. And can I say it–feel “joy.”
My mother had a severe case of bipolar & did commit suicide after many placements in a mental institution, ECT’s, meds, etc.
The meds available now helped me so that I could apply the DBT skills so my meds provider is also excited about my progress.
Half smiling right now…
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