In a recent article, Andrea Chalupa calls out for a Mindful Proposal that everyone take out 24 hours in solitude. She quotes her father, Dr. Leo Chalupa, saying that “A national day of absolute solitude would do more to improve the brains of all Americans than any other one-day program.” This might sound scary to some and intriguing to others, but have no fear, this is not going to happen. But what can happen?
What if we scaled this back a bit? How about starting with five minutes of solitude per day? Maybe we can even scale it to two sessions of five minutes a day at some point? Why even do this?
I conducted a national research study in 2006 that found that taking this time out even once a day had significant effects on well-being and stress. I wrote the steps to cultivate these moments in an earlier blog post.
Realistically, 24 hours of solitude sounds overwhelming to most, so what is overwhelming doesn’t get done. If we both sat at the bottom of Mount Everest and I said, “Ok, let’s do it,” most people would not even begin. However, if we sat at the bottom of a 5 minute hike up and you knew that 5 minutes hike in that moment would be good for your stress and well-being, you might have a bit more motivation to do it. There are many free 5 minute guided practices on the web. I have posted a free Vblog for a guided practice here. There is about 1:30 of commentary which you are welcome to listen or skip before the guided practice begins.
Here’s the other issue with actually getting started in a few minutes of solitude. Because it’s a bit of a foreign concept for most of us, there needs to be some instruction. That is why many people find a CD or MP3 so helpful. They just put it on and follow the instruction toward being with themselves in that moment. The other option is simply to just be in solitude for 5 minutes.
So here is my Mindful Proposal: Can You Handle 5 Minutes a Day of Solitude or Guided Practice?
Thomas Merton said, “Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it.”
Just 5 minutes…
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5 minutes?
I do more than that quite often, where I sit or more like lie on my couch lost in my thoughts. I consider solitude necessary for my wellbeing!
I have been doing this for many, many years. I cannot keep my balance if I don’t. It is a centering activity for me. Usually, it lasts much longer than 5 minutes. I have always been very comfortable in my solitude and enjoy it. In my home, the television is rarely on, there is little noise. My husband and I often sit in the evenings and read. The only noise is the ticking of the grandfather clock.
For the last 13 years as an executive coach, I’ve put out a challenge to many of the business owners I work with. The challenge is for them to spend 5 minutes each day, for 1 week, in silence and solitude. That means no media, no cell phones, no reading,no writing, no having conversations with anyone.
In those 13 years, not one client has completed the challenge. They start to experience things that they haven’t been in touch with- tension, emotions, body sensations, restlessness, boredom, to name a few.
I’ve been meditating for almost 30 years. Last summer, I completed a 10 day silent meditation retreat with the Goenke Vipassana organization. It contributed to my overall sense of inner peace.
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Dr. Goldstein, I hear what saying…I do. Personally, I find it difficult to sit idle for ANY length of time without something to do.
As a matter of fact, I can’t even be on a phone or a conference call without doing something. I have Solitaire open on my computer from the time I first sit down here in the morning until I go to bed at night. I talk on the phone or listen in on the conference calls as I play solitaire on my computer. I do turn the sound off.
If I am waiting for an appointment I will be doing something…not reading magazines, I have no patients for magazines. I have to be doing something busy. I do crossword puzzles or electronic solitaire. If I have to stay in a hotel, I panic if I don’t have something to keep me busy.
I would like to be able to sit idle…meditate, etc…but it is not something I can do. Not as an excuse, but…I am in PTSD “recovery” at this point in time…two week in right now…so my anxiety is at an extreme high and has been for many years.
Will I be able to be comfortable with idliness once I have passed through this phase of my life? I know that being okay with oneself is an important component…right?
Solitude is something that I long for. I am a Cancer surviver with many neuropathies caused by Chemo/Radiation treatment. There is not a minute of the day waking or sleeping that I am not in chronic pain that becomes acute sometimes. I have tried to tune out the pain and have just a moment
of solitude but so far I am unsuccessful. Up until
a year ago I was able to meditate when I was 4 years out of treatment. Now 5 years out my side effects are all consumming and they seem to get worst with time.
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