There is a new tradition starting today on the Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Blog. Every Monday I’m going to cite a quote or a poem that is related to mindfulness and psychotherapy in some way and then explore it a bit and how it is relevant to our lives. For me, quotes and poetry can often sink me into a state of greater understanding.
Here is today’s quote that Christy Matta, MA reminded us of in her comment from the blog post 10 Quotes for a Mindful Day
”You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
In everyday life we are guaranteed to have things rise and fall all the time. At one point someone we know is having a baby and close to the same time someone is passing away. Someone is getting married, while another couple is getting a divorce. During a certain phase of life this may seem like the worst time that will ever be and two months later something wonderful happens.
Everyone has ups and downs, sometimes seemingly more extreme than others. To make this more specific to mental health issues. If someone is struggling with Panic Disorder, the panic attacks have an initial lift of the wave, peak, and then eventually come down. Cravings and urges for addictive behaviors follow the same course as well as compulsions for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Those struggling with bipolar disorder certainly understand the rise and fall of these waves.
The distress comes up as waves of sensations coming and going. Our work is to learn how to surf them so that we come to acknowledge the wave when it is there, become present to it, and now have the choice to get on the board and ride it out with a greater sense of ease and grace.
The late Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and it’s all Small Stuff, had a chapter that I always appreciate that was titled “Be Grateful for the Good Times and Graceful during the more Difficult Times.” In The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran speaks about how all our emotions are always present, it’s just that when depression is there, happiness is slumbering and when happiness is there, depression is slumbering.
Life seems to have the element of rising and falling like waves in the ocean. One way to learn how to surf is by engaging in mindfulness practices. You can do a number of things to learn more about this and integrate it more into your daily life.
What helps you to surf the inevitable tides of life? As always, share your thoughts, stories, and questions below. Your interactions provide a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.
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I just began to read up on “Mindfulness”. Not sure if I buy into it just yet. It seems to be somewhat in line with ancient eastern philosophies, which I have much respect for. I do have to say this, though, up until now, from what I see all around me, the articles I read, the professionals I hear being interviewed, that most of today’s psychotherapy techniques are doing more harm than good. Anger levels are up, depression is way up, anxiety is very common, suicide is up. Of course, there are other factors that are part of the emotional distress equation, but the part that is supposed to be helping - what I call “Pop Paychology”, again, is doing more harm than good.
Hi Ikaika,
From reading the link to your blog it seems that you had an negative experience with a therapist. I’m sorry to hear that. At the same time, it may not be best to quickly judge the entire profession of mental health based on that. In my experience, there are many very skilled professionals who have really helped many people.
Mindfulness is about really becoming aware of how quickly we judge things as good or bad, right or wrong, or fair or unfair, being able to take a step back, breathe, and have a wider perspective. It isn’t easy work, but well worth it for many.
That being said, not everything is for everyone at the time they are approaching it, even therapy or mindfulness 
I have been practicing Mindfulness for the last 8 months and teaching a group on MCBT. I have had some incredible experiences and find that I am able to “catch” my mind and emotions and stay in the present moment rather that being exposed to past events so quickly. I personally use the DBT skills of emotion regulation and Mindfulness and together, they are enabling me to increase the quality of my life.
Sorry I’m late.
Recovering eight weeks from alcohol abuse in a clinic I learned a lot and practiced mindfulness. Only no-one there told me specificly that mindfulness could lessen the cravings for alcohol. I found out myself.
It really works !!! No cravings, cold wine in the fridge for my wife, red wine on the sink.
Now with all the research on mindfulness and the effects on depression, and severe chronic pain, it’s time to set our eyes on addictions too.
Greetings from the Netherlands.
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