Every day we walk around interacting with people and media and every day we have some sort of reaction to them. We may feel tense, frustrated, elated, sad or a range of different emotions not even knowing how we got into this state. I’m going to relay two different scenarios to highlight the missing link that affects our moods.
Version 1: Take a moment to just settle into a comfortable position. Now, imagine the following scenario and just pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions as you continue. Imagine that you have just been criticized by a colleague and are really feeling upset and down on yourself. You are walking down a familiar street and get a sense for the sights, smells, and sounds of where you are. Now, imagine you see someone you know on the other side of the street, this is someone you are fond of. Take a moment to see that person there.
You turn to smile at this person and wave, while the person doesn’t wave back, but just continues on.
What’s going through your mind? Notice any feelings or sensations in your body.
Breathe in, breathe out…
Version 2: This time, you have been praised by a colleague for work that you put a lot of effort into it and it has really paid off. You are feeling light on your feet. You are walking down a familiar street and get a sense for the sights, smells, and sounds of where you are. Now, imagine you see someone you know on the other side of the street, this is someone you are fond of. Take a moment to see that person there.
You turn to smile at this person and wave, while the person doesn’t wave back, but just continues on.
What’s going through your mind? Notice any feelings or sensations in your body.
Breathe in, breathe out…
What happened?
Most likely you had different interpretations for each version. In version one, you may have though the issue lied with you. In version two, you may have thought the other person had the issue. Our interpretations are mood dependent and because the interpretations of the same factual event changes, we can say that these thoughts we’re having are not facts. Without awareness of this we can fall in the habitual spiral of anxiety or depressed mood as we begin to ruminate on what is wrong with us.
Beginning to acknowledge that mood affects our interpretations can be a first step in breaking free from the tyranny of self judgments that hold us hostage. We can then ground ourselves to the present moment by focusing on our breath or body and ask:
How is my mood influencing my interpretation?
Are there alternative ways to see this?
As always, please share your thoughts, stories, and questions below. Your interaction here provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.
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PsychCentral (June 2, 2009)
I entered a hotel room where my 2 sisters and my mother were. I began to feel a negative, hateful, rejection. It escalated. I initially was in a good mood, playful, laughing, happy. The counter reaction was rejecting, unwelcoming, criticizing, unfriendly. I wondered what was going on. I took it personally. I felt unwanted. I couldnt understand why I was feeling this way. I wondered if it was me. As I continued to be met with a wall each time I was spontaneously jovial, I began to get really angry and then my anger got out of control. I decided I would confront the members of the room and ask them if they disliked me. I told them how I was feeling. They denied feeling that way towards me. One sister told me I was reacting to the anxiety of my other sister and I was taking it personally. The anxious sister admitted that she had just taken a klonopin and her anxiety was escalating and that she was thinking about taking another. How is it that I felt her anxiety and took it personally? Why did it bully me? Why do I think people are rejecting me? Yes I know this is a illogical thinking error where I take responsibility for what other’s decide–believing that it must be my fault, but still? What was my mood? Well I have anxiety myself and it was as if I was drowning in hers to where I couldnt get control of my own. How is that possible to drown in another’s anxiety? I can now see anxiety does infect and is contagious–but that was weird.
When I found out what the problem was, I told my sister to keep her anxiety to herself! That if I could contain my anxiety without meds, she could contain hers with meds! My other sister said she couldnt believe I said that, that surely I didn’t believe that. Yes I do believe it. If I can learn to manage my anxiety she can learn to manage hers. I am still not sure what really happened and why I acted like I did–its out of character for me to not show empathy or not have insight into psychiatric issues. What surprises me is I meant it! I screamed at her: “Keep your anxiety to yourself!”
Is that realistically possible???
If I have flatulence, am I going to pass gas in an enclosed room? No, I am going to leave and relieve myself somewhere else. Why can’t she show the same courtesy? And I am serious!
Last reviewed: 1 Jun 2009
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