Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

Feeling Disconnected from Life: 9 Steps to Reconnect Today

By Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
May 8, 2009

Abraham Joshua Heschel said, “Life is routine, and routine is resistance to wonder.” When we’re babies and kids, everything is like new and captures our attention, but over time we become habituated to life and lose out on the wonder if it all. How about the fact that we can see color and not just black and white? Or what about multitude of different sounds, tastes, and aromas there are out there? When we really take a moment to ponder and pay attention to all of these senses, it’s not only amazing, but quite a miracle.  Now, that may sound impressive, but how do we really get down to more practical matters.

Note: If any judgments arise (e.g., “paying attention to  my senses, that’s a waste of time” or “this will never help me” or “this is too simple to matter”), just notice them as habits of the mind that have been with you for quite some time, let them be, and then come back to reading.

Here are 9 things you can do today to break out of your daily routine and get back in touch with the wonder of life:

  1. Waking up in the morning saying “breathing in, I calm my body, breathing out, every cell of my body is alive.” Do this a few times with each in and out breath
  2. When taking a shower, notice if your mind is already at work, bring it back to noticing the sensations of the water on your body or the smell of the soap. How amazing that we can smell at all.
  3. When eating your meals during the day, pay attention to the tastes for a moment and consider all the people (including yourself) who have worked hard to get that food to your table today. Consider the fact that it took rain, soil, and sunshine to create this as well. All of this is within your food.
  4. Drive to work a bit slower today, use red lights as opportunities to just breathe. Be aware that this breath just happens autonomously without your awareness most of the day and is essential for living.
  5. While at work, try and see your co-workers as people with their own struggles and triumphs trying to do the best they can in this life.
  6. Throughout the day, if possible, send those who are struggling wishes of kindness. For example hold them in your mind and say, “May you be happy, May you be healthy, May you be free from fear, May you be safe.” If judgments arise around this, again, notice them as habits and know that wishing people well is an act that ultimately is a path toward healing yourself.
  7. Driving home, reflect back on your day, what went well, what would you wish you would have done differently. Breathe in and breathe out.
  8. Before stepping in the door, if you have family, take a moment to consider how you would like “to be” with your family this evening.  Maybe you can set the intention for being present and kind, less reactive. Breathe in, breathe out.
  9. As you lay your bed on your pillow, look back on the day and ask yourself, “Where was wonder today?” If you are someone with a religious or spiritual inclination, you may ask “Where was God in my day today?”

Try these out and notice what comes up for you. Don’t take my word for it, try it out for yourself and trust your experience.

As always, please share your thoughts, stories, and questions below. Your interactions here provide a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.


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4 Comments to
“Feeling Disconnected from Life: 9 Steps to Reconnect Today”

‘Oh kat….yes. With the ‘bad’ comes the exquisite opportunity to feel the blessings of the ‘good’.
by the name of Grace…..’

A couple of weeks ago, someone sent this to me in response to what I had e-mailed her earlier.

I said something about the positive consequences from trauma, or at least what they can be, or where for me. (And this was not an ‘incidence’ but what felt like years of combat and where I lost everything. When I thought I was now surely dead one day, I looked up and realized I was still alive, and when i looked around everything was in ruins.

And, for some reason, i then felt a great sense of freedom that I had never felt before.
(i.e that I no longer had to please everyone, because they already lost hope in me)

And then began a new life in a new world, and one that was so incredibly unfamiliar and to a large degree just awesome. Everything was a new experience to me. When someone talked to me with kind words, i felt like making an announcement to the entire world about this great experience, or when someone knew my name, or just a smile.

** “affirmations” are junk food

Religion and psychology are one in creating fictitious “illnesses” for which each offers sham cures.

So what do you suggest anti-supernaturalist?

everything in most people’s lives isn’t all ‘hunky dorey’. If they turn to religon, or the self-help section of the bookstore, or psychologists, to classify and treat their situation, is that such a bad thing???

I think this list is a wonderful way for people to reconnect with the present.

I absolutely loved this post.
What a wonderful way to feel like a human being- and not just a human having… A great way to bring us to the present. A great book that upholds this Eckhart Tolle- A New Earth. Thanks again for this great post :)

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