I was warned about this. People told me that getting a smartphone where you have multiple avenues to receive messages can be dangerous. In my case I got the Blackberry where I can receive messages via voice, text, email, or blackberry messenger. Why the warning? Because every time the red light blinks on it a voice comes up inside of me “oh, there is something for me that needs attention.” In other words, an irrational sense of urgency arises in me that draws me to the phone. In many ways, this is much like an addictive behavior where I get kicked on auto-pilot and move toward engaging with the substance (aka crack-berry).

This morning I was on a walk with my little infant and found myself checking my email and responding to a colleague. I let the colleague in on the fact that I was on a walk with my son. The colleague responded, “That is great, now get off the phone, AND BE PRESENT!” She was right, I was on auto-pilot, caught in a habitual cycle of engaging with this little machine. Now, there’s nothing wrong with engaging with sending people messages when we’re on the go, but for me, I noticed it was starting to take away from my experiences of being present with the world around me and also with my family.

This has actually become more dangerous as people are feeling compelled to engage with these machines while driving in the car, not only at stoplights, but while actually driving. More and more states are banning the use of interacting with these phones while in the car, unless you are “hands-free.” How Is this relevant to you?

If you do not have one of these little machines yet, at some point or another, it is highly likely that you will, so maybe this can pre-empt the addictive behavior from occurring. What can we do to break this cycle once we’re in it? We don’t need to throw the baby out with the bathwater, we can actually use the machines to help us. I have begun to schedule little reminder pop ups in my phone with the acronym S.T.O.P. Those of you who follow my blogs may have read this before.

S – Stop what you’re doing

T - Take a Breath, Breathing in, breathing out

O - Observe your Thoughts, Body Sensations, and Emotions

P – Proceed with what is most important right now

In doing this practice we can more often become aware when we are on auto-pilot with our phones or anything else, ground to the present moment, and then choose how we want to proceed. We actually create opportunity to have more choice in our lives over what we really want to be doing. Do we really need to send that text or email while driving or can it wait? Would we rather be looking at the screen of the phone or staring into our baby’s eyes and listing to the birds sing? How does the incessant need to check the phone increase your levels of stress and anxiety or take you away from more stress reducing activities? Moderation can be so difficult, but this can support us with this.

Do you or someone you know have addictive behaviors with their mobile devices? What works for you? Share your comments, stories, and questions in the space below. Your interaction provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from?

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and is author of the upcoming book The Now Effect, co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of the Mindful Solutions at Work App, the Mindful Solutions audio series, and the Mindfulness at Work™ program currently being adopted in multiple multinational corporations. Join Elisha Goldstein's Facebook Community to keep up with important information, tips and events.

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aPexDesigns online | Addicted to Your Phone? Try This… | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy (May 11, 2009)

From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (May 11, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 11 May 2009