Comments on: 7 Ways to Mindfully Boost Self-Esteem

By: 93 Personal Health » 15 Body Image Boosters from the Blogosphere

93 Personal Health » 15 Body Image Boosters from the Blogosphere — Sun, 23 May 2010 03:26:44 +0000

[...] Boost your self-esteem — and do it mindfully. [...]

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uberVU - social comments — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:30:43 +0000

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By: Meg

Meg — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 20:19:29 +0000

Most of the time I am an outgoing happy person. I have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my life. I have always yearned for acceptance and sometimes to the point of just being wanted. When I don’t feel wanted, or like in a group setting my friends are getting all the attention, my self esteem plummets and I feel horrible. From there I feel that something is wrong with me and there is a reason that people don’t naturally gravitate toward me. May be an illusion but in some aspects situations prove this time and time again. This is affecting the quality of my life. I just want to live and be fine with whatever situation arises and move forward. Instead, I begin to mentally tread around these thoughts and then I just become sad. It takes a while to get out of the turmoil. I don’t want to care so much about ‘acceptance’.

any advice??

By: Chris

Chris — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 20:19:24 +0000

Gladtobealive makes a good point, I don’t remember ever being in K-12 gr and them teaching us about self esteem and self-worth. I only saw courses you could take on that in college, surprisingly. They should have it for school, esp. during that time when we’re more susceptible to it. The thing is that self-worth and self-esteem is like one of THE keys in having a good healthy life. Once you’re in control of your body and thoughts it’s like whatever people say or anything doesn’t matter anymore, which is beautiful. There’s like a peace with yourself and other people. It’s nice. It’s something that I’m trying to reclaim as mine again (have low esteem,am depressed and anxious lol) but no shame in that. Life has its ups and downs.

By: gladtobealive

gladtobealive — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:05:22 +0000

Hmmm on the narcissim–had to check the DSM for diagnostic criteria. Found my mother and sister are Nacissistic just now. Such an annoying personality disorder.
As for self-esteem, I liked Ronald Brills’ comments above and am headed to read his book at Hastings. My thoughts on the importance of self-esteem is that it must be healthy in order for me to function and be free of depression. HOwever its not taught in school or by parents or at least by my depressed, bipolar, narcissitic parents. There are lots of books out there. I like the 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. I also like Shad Helmstetter’s books on Self-Talk Solution and What to Say When You Talk To YOurself. I live on daily self-esteem self talk scripts I use to program my brain and maintain a positive self esteem. If I don’t its back to negative and low self esteem which is painful and depressing. David Burns Feeling Good is also a staple in my library.

By: monicake

monicake — Sat, 09 May 2009 15:00:03 +0000

i think what artie described isn’t really self-esteem, because you rely on your accomplishments to bring you up, but you don’t actually accept yourself for who you are. I think you want to make yourself seem better to others while you yourself are not fully convinced. so then if you ever fail at the thing that is making you feel puffed up you’ll start feeling like a loser again.(i think i have exactly that problem)
i think narcissism is the same, if somebody really accepts themself and is happy with who they are they will not try to prove to everyone else that they are so much better or put others down.

By: anonymous

anonymous — Sat, 09 May 2009 05:43:53 +0000

When we look to others for compliments and acceptance we are doomed. True self-esteem comes from within, not taking notes of nice things people have said about us. We give our power away when we do that. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean disrespecting others. When we truly accept ourselves we extend that to other people.

By: artie

artie — Thu, 07 May 2009 23:13:18 +0000

Can self-esteem raising projects end up going too far and produce narcissism?

It can according to the book “Evil: inside human cruelty and violence” by R F Baumeister.

I’ve been on a self-esteem course, they wouldn’t hear a bar of this.

I remember my self-esteem went through the roof when I got into the “worlds top” art school, I was far more verbally agressive with others(lost empathy) perhaps because all my love was used up on myself.

By: anonymous

anonymous — Thu, 07 May 2009 22:33:56 +0000

this is really great i need to really follow this advice. i think another thing that helps my self-esteem is when i am less self-centered and think more about other people.
except the stuff about thinking of things that you like about yourself, i find that i don’t always have bad self-esteem, a lot of the time i’m ok with who i am, but then other times i remember stupid things that i’ve done and i hate myself and wish i could be the person who i like to think i am, if that makes any sense.
but ya self-esteem is so important, i noticed how much more successful people with self-worth are than people who put themselves down

By: Ronald Brill, Director of Coping Skills & Brain Works for Kids

Ronald Brill, Director of Coping Skills & Brain Works for Kids — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:03:21 +0000

While self-esteem problems seems such a common problem, it has special meaning in relationship to our coping capability for healing “emotional wounds.” In my book, Emotional Honesty & Self-Acceptance, that issue was central to a proposed new concept of “emotional health.” Simply stated, one can learn healthy emotional coping skills to help get over emotionally painful experiences. Inability to do this is evident in PTSD. I posit that unhealthy coping means ignoring and storing unhealed emotional wounds rather than “healing & releasing” them. The more wounds we store, the greater likelihood those common wounds become infected (much like a physical wound that is ignored). There is an emotional “alchemy” in such cases whereby the longer we remain unable to heal “the more we feel ‘entitled’ to avenge those wounds.” Self-acceptance implies owning and honoring our hurt feelings. That builds an ability to recover from each emotionally wounding experience as it occurs. Columbine tragedies are horrifying examples of emotionally insecure & wounded teens lacking these simple coping abilities. An easy way to understand this principle is the simple statement in the concluding chapter of my book: “Self-accepting people have no need to harm themselves or others.”