Comments on: Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/ A blog about mindfulness and psychotherapy by psychologist Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:38:10 +0000 hourly 1 By: Hans Dumaine http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-6792 Hans Dumaine Sat, 24 Dec 2011 23:36:46 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-6792 It’s really a great and useful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing. It’s really a great and useful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: Open Your Heart to Positivity Through Forgiveness | Adventures in Positive Psychology http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-3275 Open Your Heart to Positivity Through Forgiveness | Adventures in Positive Psychology Sat, 12 Feb 2011 02:48:12 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-3275 [...] you. This does not mean you have to forget or excuse how you we’re treated, but it means letting go of the emotional baggage connected to [...] [...] you. This does not mean you have to forget or excuse how you we’re treated, but it means letting go of the emotional baggage connected to [...]

]]> By: PG http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-2621 PG Thu, 09 Dec 2010 12:28:06 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-2621 i totally agree with susan. when u think of forgiving someone, u think about them and all that they did to you all over again. being angry with someone is not wrong. its just that dont let it occupy you. let the thoughts come, make yourself busy in something u enjoy doing. rather than sitting and thinking about forgiving or not forgiving them, make yourself busy and try not to think about them even if u r thinking about forgiving or forgetting them.... mind is very smart, the more u want to forget someone or forgive someone, the more deeply u think about them. so give your minds and brains something else to do rather than that. i know it is difficult to do it when the person is someone whom u have to see everyday or hear everyday but at least when u not near them, dont intentionally bring them near to u by continuously thinking... i totally agree with susan. when u think of forgiving someone, u think about them and all that they did to you all over again. being angry with someone is not wrong. its just that dont let it occupy you. let the thoughts come, make yourself busy in something u enjoy doing. rather than sitting and thinking about forgiving or not forgiving them, make yourself busy and try not to think about them even if u r thinking about forgiving or forgetting them….
mind is very smart, the more u want to forget someone or forgive someone, the more deeply u think about them. so give your minds and brains something else to do rather than that.
i know it is difficult to do it when the person is someone whom u have to see everyday or hear everyday but at least when u not near them, dont intentionally bring them near to u by continuously thinking…

]]> By: Forgiveness Means Giving Up All Hope for a Better Past | A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-390 Forgiveness Means Giving Up All Hope for a Better Past | A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:01:51 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-390 [...] In a past post I asked you to consider this experiment: “Think of someone in your life right now (maybe not the most extreme person) who you are absolutely holding a grudge against right now. There is no way you are willing to forgive this person right now for their actions. Picture that person and hold onto that unwillingness to forgive. Now, just observe what emotions are there; Anger, resentment, sadness?  Also notice how you are holding your body right now, is it tense anywhere or feeling heavy? Now bring awareness to your thoughts; are they hateful and spiteful thoughts?” [...] [...] In a past post I asked you to consider this experiment: “Think of someone in your life right now (maybe not the most extreme person) who you are absolutely holding a grudge against right now. There is no way you are willing to forgive this person right now for their actions. Picture that person and hold onto that unwillingness to forgive. Now, just observe what emotions are there; Anger, resentment, sadness?  Also notice how you are holding your body right now, is it tense anywhere or feeling heavy? Now bring awareness to your thoughts; are they hateful and spiteful thoughts?” [...]

]]> By: Forgiveness Means Giving Up All Hope for a Better Past | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-389 Forgiveness Means Giving Up All Hope for a Better Past | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Mon, 21 Jun 2010 16:21:16 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-389 [...] In a past post I asked you to consider this experiment: “Think of someone in your life right now (maybe not the most extreme person) who you are absolutely holding a grudge against right now. There is no way you are willing to forgive this person right now for their actions. Picture that person and hold onto that unwillingness to forgive. Now, just observe what emotions are there; Anger, resentment, sadness?  Also notice how you are holding your body right now, is it tense anywhere or feeling heavy? Now bring awareness to your thoughts; are they hateful and spiteful thoughts?” [...] [...] In a past post I asked you to consider this experiment: “Think of someone in your life right now (maybe not the most extreme person) who you are absolutely holding a grudge against right now. There is no way you are willing to forgive this person right now for their actions. Picture that person and hold onto that unwillingness to forgive. Now, just observe what emotions are there; Anger, resentment, sadness?  Also notice how you are holding your body right now, is it tense anywhere or feeling heavy? Now bring awareness to your thoughts; are they hateful and spiteful thoughts?” [...]

]]> By: Sue S http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-388 Sue S Tue, 05 Jan 2010 21:47:20 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-388 I have held onto anger and resentment in the past when I've been badly treated. I don't tend to do this any more. Eventually I realised that the only person I was hurting by jealously guarding that anger, was myself. Nowadays, after I've cooled off after a perceived injustice or whatever, I don't seem to harbour resentment towards that person. I THINK this means I have learned to forgive... but I do sometimes wonder if I'm just in denial! I have held onto anger and resentment in the past when I’ve been badly treated. I don’t tend to do this any more. Eventually I realised that the only person I was hurting by jealously guarding that anger, was myself.

Nowadays, after I’ve cooled off after a perceived injustice or whatever, I don’t seem to harbour resentment towards that person. I THINK this means I have learned to forgive… but I do sometimes wonder if I’m just in denial!

]]> By: Refusing to Forgive in Relationship: An Interview with Dr. Fred Luskin | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-387 Refusing to Forgive in Relationship: An Interview with Dr. Fred Luskin | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:23:45 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-387 [...] In a past blog, Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free, I quoted your 9 steps from your popular book Forgive for Good. Now in Forgive for Love you’re [...] [...] In a past blog, Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free, I quoted your 9 steps from your popular book Forgive for Good. Now in Forgive for Love you’re [...]

]]> By: 7 Ways to Forgiveness: A Reader’s Perspective | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-386 7 Ways to Forgiveness: A Reader’s Perspective | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Wed, 29 Jul 2009 15:01:32 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-386 [...] too long ago, I wrote the blog How Do We Forgive Ourselves? As a follow up to the blog Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free. Many people have commented on these blogs which is the real benefit of the blogosphere in action. [...] [...] too long ago, I wrote the blog How Do We Forgive Ourselves? As a follow up to the blog Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free. Many people have commented on these blogs which is the real benefit of the blogosphere in action. [...]

]]> By: Top 10 Mindfulness & Psychotherapy Blogs | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-385 Top 10 Mindfulness & Psychotherapy Blogs | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:00:01 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-385 [...] Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free [...] [...] Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free [...]

]]> By: Too Afraid to Forgive? 3 Blogs that Can Help | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2009/04/refusing-to-forgive-9-steps-to-break-free/comment-page-3/#comment-384 Too Afraid to Forgive? 3 Blogs that Can Help | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:58:07 +0000 http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/?p=143#comment-384 [...] a past blog Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free there was tremendous response and interest in the topic of forgiveness.  This is such a confusing [...] [...] a past blog Refusing to Forgive: 9 Steps to Break Free there was tremendous response and interest in the topic of forgiveness.  This is such a confusing [...]

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