Sometimes you need to look reality straight in the eye and allow yourself to feel that this utterly sucks!

Everyone deals with what life hands them in their own way. It’s how it has to be. I have accepted my medical woes, as put forth below, but I don’t think I will ever define my stance towards them as “accepting”.
Mental disease runs at an alarming rate in my family, both maternal and paternal side. I was hoping I was spared this particular fate only to have my first depression at age 15. Then I managed along until diagnosis at 30. In the following year came the diagnosis of Asperger. I felt a strange sense of relief. At least NOW I know, but life would have been easier without all of this. When I had to quit work I fell into a slump of questioning whatever reason there was for ME to get this. Pile on a physical illness that grew progressive and is wreaking havoc on my body, I went into a stage of wrath on why, how and how unfair isn’t this. I still do, not as intense but I do it. I seem to use the “idea” of that it could be worse when my dark spells hit. I could have some other terrible disease. I’ve accepted what I need to deal with, the medicines I need. Recently a relative suggested I’d try to return to work again. Enter that twinge. Then I said what I hadn’t said since I had to leave my job. I can’t do it. I can live and have a good quality of life but certain things needs to be omitted from the equation.

You need to allow yourself the scope of emotions you feel. I feel them, come out of them, experience them again. But now I know them, I recognise them. I know how to deal with depression, yet when my annual manic period followed by depression arrives, I still feel twinges of why-on-earth did this happen to ME? If I kept up with reading diagnostic criteria and how these can/might impede your daily life; then I’d be the wreck. I’d rather take what I can do ,focus on that and skip the rest.