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	<title>Mentoring and Recovery</title>
	<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery</link>
	<description>The skinny and wide and tall and small of how supporting relationships can help to heal the inner hurt.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 23 Feb 2012 12:00:02 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Is Body Love Possible?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I really think it is.

That does NOT mean I have it each and every day, by the way.

Nor have I any way of knowing whether even the most famous celebrity body-love advocates feel absolutely zero pressure from the thinness-focused culture we live in.

Nor is it really any business of mine whether they do or not.

But I have had periods where I have really hated my body (the 15 year battle I had with anorexia and bulimia springs to mind) and also periods when I fell so in love with my body that every day felt like Valentine's Day (like after my surgery in 2010, when I watched in awe and disbelief as my body knit itself back together in record time after being split nearly in half). ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/02/is-body-love-possible/</link>
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		<title>Circle of Stones</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A friend and mentor of mine recently recommended a book to me.

The book is called Circle of Stones: Woman's Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk.

It is currently in its 15th anniversary of printing - so pretty popular, I would say.

While I tend to be a rather structured reader in the sense that I read from start-to-finish, chapter by chapter, assuming that is usually the most useful way of digesting the contents of your average book, this book didn't arrive with that sort of vibe.

My friend had recommended it to me because I am continuing to enjoy the aftershocks from turning 40 -- more of a mid-life evolution than a crisis, I'd say -- and she thought it might help me make some sense of my longing to transition from a daily schedule that basically consists of work-til-I-drop into something with a bit more work/life-balance.

That process, according to Judith Duerk, can reasonably involve connecting with other women who are undergoing the same.

Totally makes sense. Sounds like mentoring, in fact. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/02/circle-of-stones/</link>
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		<title>Cruel to Be Kind</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In this culture (that is, the Westernized image-focused culture that influences and envelopes most of the developed world today) we have developed a warped view of mentoring.

We are often cruel....but I for one continue to believe that our ultimate goal is to be kind.

Whether we are investigating the January 2012 unveiling of the hotly contested Atlanta billboards denouncing the dangers of childhood obesity, or a recent Glamour magazine readers poll that reveals that a shocking 97 percent of women are mean to their bodies each and every day, I just cannot believe that we all wake up in the morning with the intention to spread our inner meanness out into the world.

Rather, I think we wake up with the fear that the meanness that is already out there will find us - and those we care about most - if we don't do something to keep it out.

We are like caped crusaders - heroes, really - but we keep misunderstanding our mission. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/02/cruel-to-be-kind/</link>
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		<title>Everybody Knows Somebody</title>
		<description><![CDATA[One great way to be mentored, and to mentor others, is to get involved in meaningful opportunities to raise awareness of issues you or someone you love has been impacted by.

This month, we recognize National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2012, which is taking place from February 26 - March 3.

Dubbed "NEDAwareness Week" by the sponsoring organization, the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), this year's theme is "Everybody Knows Somebody".

Through my own work with MentorCONNECT, the non-profit eating disorders mentoring community I run, I happen to know several thousand somebodies whose lives are affected by eating disorders, but whether you know one (you) or many, there is a way for you to take part in this important awareness-building and fundraising effort.

The NEDA website lists all kinds of activities and events that are taking place in recognition of NEDAwareness Week.

MentorCONNECT, in the spirit of the online-based community that we are, is also hosting a "Virtual Walk", where instead of joining a walk (think sneakers, water bottle, t-shirt) to raise awareness in your city, you can "walk" (think Facebook, Twitter, email, blog posts) wherever you are - even if you are currently orbiting the moon! ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/02/everybody-knows-somebody/</link>
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		<title>Rock Your Body</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Outside of a few celebrities (Kate Winslet, Jamie Lee Curtis, Adele and Liv Tyler come to mind) who are adamant that they love their curves and plan to maintain them, finding visible role models who genuinely seem to like their bodies is an ongoing challenge.

Which is why sometimes I turn to non-humans for inspiration.

    Snowball, Animal Planet star. Photo courtesy of Irena Schulz and Bird Lovers Only (www.birdloversonly.org)

Take Snowball, for instance.

Talk about a positive body image mentor!

Snowball is a young sulfur crested cockatoo.

He was dropped off at the Bird Lovers Only bird shelter by his frustrated former owner, who couldn't deal with the well-publized "terrible twos" that cockatoos and other large birds often go through.

But Snowball's owner also left a DVD with the bird, and instructed shelter co-owners Charles &#038; Irena Schulz to make sure to pop it in and watch what happened next.

What happened next was that the couple discovered that Snowball realllllllyyyyy likes the Backstreet Boys. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/02/rock-your-body/</link>
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		<title>Mentoring That Will Kick Ed&#8217;s Booty</title>
		<description><![CDATA[[Thom_Book] Thom Rutledge may be best-known to the eating disorders world these days as Jenni Schaefer's therapist, but Jenni is just one of literally hundreds of folks who credit Thom for life-saving guidance, mentoring, and support.

When I first published Beating Ana and launched MentorCONNECT, I was pretty starry-eyed around folks I considered to be "eating disorder celebrities".  So when I first started getting email from Thom himself, I nearly fell over.

But he liked what we were up to with MentorCONNECT, and proposed a collaboration. His idea involved "teleconferences", which made technologically-challenged me feel a bit faint for other reasons. His part would be to lead them. My part would be to run the teleconferencing program.

Needless to say, it took awhile for us to get the thing up and running.

But to date, Thom has presented 9 amazing teleconferences for us, and the 10th is right around the corner on February 9th. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/02/mentoring-that-will-kick-eds-booty/</link>
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		<title>What We Aren&#8217;t Saying</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When I turned 40 (one year and one month ago pretty much today) Woman's Day magazine just started arriving in my mailbox.

They knew.

In the mysterious ways of modern marketers, somehow they got an alert when another gal hit the big 4-0, and they were already prepared to deliver timely advice about reducing middle age pudge, covering up grey hairs (I've had that move mastered for years), menopause meds, and other helpful tips.

Most of it I don't actually find that helpful....yet....some I find a bit scary.

And yet I keep reading each month, out of curiosity if nothing else about what the coming years may bring.

    Is your own body language comforting to you - or does it make you feel, well, all twisted up inside?

One article in January's edition caught my particular interest - it was titled "Body Talk", and the author, Annie Finnigan, interviewed several experts to find out how what we aren't saying verbally often gets said anyway. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/02/what-we-arent-saying/</link>
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		<title>Getting to Know You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[You are you.

And I am me.

Sounds simplistic, right?

But how well do I really know who "me" is? For that matter, how well do you really know "you"?

Would we be able to pick ourselves out of a lineup? Sure - if we saw a picture. But what if the only thing we were given was a written description - our likes, dislikes, personality type, strengths, weaknesses, preferences.....would you know you? Would I know me?

Answering just for myself here, I am not sure. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/01/getting-to-know-you/</link>
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		<title>The Transformative Power of Waiting</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Years ago, my mentor, Lynn, told me, "if you are feeling anger, then it is not the right time to act."

Lynn is still my mentor today, and she still tells me this from time to time.

I have also learned that it applies equally well in situations where I am feeling sadness or grief, anxiety or indecision, and, well, anything other than peace, basically.

Peace, Lynn has often explained and re-explained to me, is like finding true North on a compass, or the North Star in the midnight sky. It is always reliable. I can trust it. I can walk in that direction with confidence.

But anger might be pointing me South.

Sadness might ask me to go West.

And anxiety might have me heading off far to the East.

So if I don't feel peace, it is always the right time to wait. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/01/the-transformative-power-of-waiting/</link>
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		<title>Breaking Down the Wall Against Ourselves</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Not too long ago, I made a huge breakthrough in my self-work.

I had long been aware that there were certain walls - protective or otherwise - that I had through the years erected and even for a time maintained against others, be they situations, people, places, or even memories.

But it wasn't until more recently that I realized I also had a wall up, and in place, against myself.

It started with my morning meditations. ]]></description>
		<link>http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/01/breaking-down-the-wall-against-ourselves/</link>
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