If we are to believe shame and vulnerability researcher Brene Brown, vulnerability can just about cure cancer.

The thing is, I believe her.

I first heard about Brene’s work several years ago. She happens to do her research at the University of Houston, and I happen to live in Houston. So I had visions of sitting down with her over coffee, sharing with her about how shame is a factor for those who develop eating disorders.

But I think (know) that she already knew that.

In her latest talk for TED.com, called “Listening to Shame”, Brene implicates the all-too-human experience of shame in the development of just about everything that hurts and kills us.

Addiction.
Eating disorders.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Suicide.
You name it.

Vulnerability, on the other hand, is a necessary ingredient in the antidote to shame.

For this post I have the honor of introducing to you my dear friend and colleague (at MentorCONNECT) Cheryl Kerrigan.

Cheryl is an author, speaker, teacher, and mentor, but first and foremost she is a survivor of a decades-long battle with an eating disorder. “Telling Ed No” is her first book and is being released by Gurze Books this fall.

I encourage you to pick up a copy of “Telling Ed No” – the easiest way is to just order it directly from Gurze Books.

Hope you enjoy this interview with Cheryl!

xo

Shannon

An Interview with Cheryl Kerrigan, Author of “Telling Ed No”

Cheryl’s wonderful new book, “Telling Ed No”

“Telling Ed No” is a goldmine with over 100 practical tools that can help those in recovery from eating disorders choose recovery and work towards that goal. Can you tell us about some of your favorite tools from your own recovery journey?

Troy Roness is an inspiring role model for any person who is struggling to recover from an eating disorder. He is equally inspiring to those who have recovered in his ceaseless efforts to support, encourage, and advocate for better treatment and care for all who struggle.

Troy currently serves as the inaugural United States Male Junior Board Representative for the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), Advisory Board Member and M.O.R.E. Program Director with MentorCONNECT, and is active in promoting legislative changes in his home state of North Dakota to promote education and treatment of eating disorders.

Troy is a busy guy!

He is the epitomy of what it means to “pay it forward”, and it is my pleasure to feature Troy’s words and work in “Mentoring and Recovery”. Troy, thanks so much for being with us!

Tell us a bit about your battle with an eating disorder and what motivated you to choose recovery.
“I cannot specifically remember a day or ‘ah-ha’ event that I really wanted to choose life. There are specific moments I do recall, however, that really had me analyzing the direction I was headed. For one, physically I couldn’t function enough to perform daily tasks, let alone enjoy life. Aside from that and more importantly, I was emotionally, psychologically and spiritually drained; I was desperate and completely alone. It was, and still is sometimes, a daily task to choose healthy decisions verses unhealthy ones. I feel confident when I lay my head down each night knowing that I have done the best I can in my efforts to make myself healthier, happier and more in-tune with my feelings.”

This month we have our long-awaited interview with recovery expert Jenni Schaefer.

Author of “Life Without Ed” and “Goodbye Ed, Hello Me”, Jenni is a much-beloved and sought-after speaker, author…and mentor. In this interview, she shares her insights about her own experiences of being mentored, mentoring others, and learning to fall in love with life. Thanks, Jenni, for visiting us here at “Mentoring and Recovery”.

1. In Goodbye Ed, Hello Me, there is an inspiring chapter called “My Mentee” where you describe being asked to be your nephew Aiden’s mentor for life. How cool! What are some of the wise messages your own mentors have taught you that you want to pass on to Aiden?

In recovery, my mentor, Emily, taught me not to be so hard on myself, that relapses were normal and okay. She also said that I didn’t always have to settle for relapsing. I could ultimately make the decision to get fully better. A key was to have patience and to never, never, never give up. I hope to pass this message of patience and persistence along to Aiden.

2. You mention in the chapter that you have mentors for many different areas of life. I can really relate to this – mentoring has such a wide application. What advice do you have for readers who are interested in finding a mentor for recovery or for other areas of life?

To find a recovery mentor, I, of course, recommend reading your book, Beating Ana, and joining MentorCONNECT! To find mentors in other areas, I encourage people to be open to learning and to ask questions. In my life, I have found that by being open, my mentors have actually found me. I love the old saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

3. One interesting point you bring up that I can really relate to is that some of your mentors may not even know that they are your mentors. Can you share more about this?

Here we continue the wonderful two-part Nourishing the Soul interview regarding my work in eating disorders mentoring. Special thanks to the blog publisher, Ashley Solomon, PsyD, for such a great resource!

Welcome back for Part II of this inspirational interview with author, advocate, and musician, Shannon Cutts. In Part I, Shannon shared how relationships replace eating disorders. In today’s post, she shares some of the lessons she has taken away from being both a mentee and mentor, as well as how to navigate the difficult but rewarding world of helping someone in recovery. You can also take a moment to watch Shannon in action spreading her message of hope through words and song.

NTS: What have you learned from your own mentor?

SC: She reached out to me and offered me her support, and that is why I am the person I am today. She would set down ground rules – but all of these rules were very life-affirming and loving towards ME, not the eating disorder. Over time, with that consistent support and love from her, and reassurance that YES, I could achieve my goal to not choose my eating disorder over my life anymore, and that YES, I was worth fighting and recovering for, I chose my relationship with her over my relationship with the eating disorder.

My current mentor, Lynn, has supported me for nearly a decade now, and also serves as Vice Chair on MentorCONNECT’s board. I always joke that she probably had no idea what she was getting into when she accepted me as a mentee! Because of my mentors, most especially Lynn, I have absolute faith that I can become a better me. I know I can slowly but surely transform into the me I have always dreamed of being. I have faith in humanity and in love, and in the givingness of others – and my own ability to give and to love as well. And I know that what I do and who I am are not the same – today, through my mentor Lynn’s guidance and support, I can even get angry at my actions and still unconditionally love who …

I recently enjoyed the chance to share more about my mentoring work with Ashley Solomon, PsyD, from the wonderful Nourishing the Soul blog. I thought I would reprint our two-part interview here as well. Thanks Ashley for such a great resource!

Nourishing the Soul, Part I – Relationships Replace Eating Disorders:

I’m thrilled to be able to share with all of you today my interview with Shannon Cutts, author of Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Backand creator of MentorCONNECT. If you’re not familiar with Shannon, you are truly missing out! She is a renowned speaker, intuitive writer, and award-winning musician. She is also someone who has struggled herself with eating disorders and has a beautiful message of hope that she shares through various media. In Part I of our interview, Shannon talks about her own recovery journey and why recovery isn’t optional.

NTS: You are a person in recovery, a speaker, author, songwriter, and advocate. What was instrumental for you in getting to be the person who you are today?

SC: Well, the first thing I can say is that who I am today continues to be a work-in-progress. When I first started my recovery journey I had no plans to do what I do today in terms of advocacy and outreach work for eating disorders recovery. Since I became ill at age 11 and progressed all the way through recovery before I ever met another person who had struggled with an eating disorder, I had little formal information about my disease and only the support of one person – my mentor – to figure out how to do the hard work of recovery.

So I emerged from my recovery journey understanding just how vital, how critical, the presence of even one caring, supportive, encouraging person can be in the life of someone who is struggling to recover.

NTS: You say frequently that “relationships replace eating disorders.” Explain what you mean.

For this post, I invited Sarah Ikenberry from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) to share more about their fabulous “Recovery Month” programming. Did you know that each September is “National Recovery Month”?

I didn’t until Sarah contacted me.

I think it is so very important to recognize ourselves and others for the important work we are doing by choosing to recover, to heal, to uplift ourselves, and to support others in doing the same. As we share our stories and our involvement in recovery-oriented activities and events, we serve as mentors to others who aspire to do the same.

SAMHSA’s Recovery Month highlights individuals who are making a difference in their own lives and also are willing to serve as inspirations to others. With year-round activities designed to support National Recovery Month, SAMHSA is a national advocate for doing the hard work of recovery, one life at a time.

An extra-special thank you goes out to Sarah for taking the time to compose this guest blog to share more about all the ways we can participate in Recovery Month in September and year-round!

From Sarah Ikenberry at SAMHSA:

Leslie Benson is a 2011 MSW Candidate at the NYU Silver School of Social Work. She is also a tireless volunteer for eating disorders conferences such as NEDA and Renfrew, and for MentorCONNECT as a volunteer mentor, support group leader, and research assistant.

Leslie’s experiences with mentoring, combined with her clinical training and education, has produced a voice of wisdom, compassion, and expertise far beyond her years. We are honored to host her here on “Mentoring & Recovery” to share her mentoring experiences!

Tell us about your own experiences being mentored and how it helped you in your recovery.
My mentor came to me very unexpectedly, but in retrospect, it was exactly what I needed to get over a big hump in my recovery. At the time I was struggling with discovering who I was without ED. My mentor’s confidence in me helped me build confidence in myself, which until then I didn’t have. Slowly, with constant encouragement and positive reinforcement from my mentor, I was able to rebuild my sense of self, rediscover my strengths and interests, and use them to build a life without ED.

My friend and colleague Dr. Carolyn Becker is one of the most inspiring women I know.

She is the co-author of Reflections: Body Image, an evidence-based curriculum which scientifically proves that when women come together to support one another in attaining and maintaining healthy body image, we can break through the culture bias against curves and learn to embrace, talk, and walk a body-love counter culture.

Given my own work with MentorCONNECT, it is easy to see why Dr. Becker is one of my personal heroes.

Reflections birthed a movement called “Fat Talk Free Week” that urges all women everywhere to just say “no” to “fat talk” and “yes” to their slogan in action “Helping Women Achieve Healthy Body, Mind, & Spirit”. Sounds great to me!

Survivor, author, and mentor Andrea Roe was kind enough to stop by “Mentoring and Recovery” to share her insights about the power of mentoring from both the mentee’s and the mentor’s point of view.

Andrea is the author of the great two-volume series “You Are Not Alone: the book of companionship for women with eating disorders”. She is also editor of the monthly Support Letter e-newsletter, which has the largest subscriber base of any similar publication in Canada.

Andrea is also a long-time valued board member with MentorCONNECT, a pending 501(c)3 non-profit organization that is dedicated to promoting no-fee access to mentoring for any individual who is personally affected by an eating disorder.

Andrea’s own recovery journey has been a rich adventure in seeking and finding nurturing, empowering, encouraging pro-recovery mentoring relationships. Thank you so much Andrea for sharing your experiences with us!

1. You have mentioned that online recovery communities and mentoring were important in your own recovery from anorexia and bulimia because of all the support you found there. Tell us about your own experiences.

Being in touch with others who were also in recovery or already recovered was an essential part of my own recovery. It made me feel understood, less alone and gave me hope that all this hard work was really worth it. I really got that if they could overcome their struggles, I COULD TOO!

CONTEST ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * To WIN one of 3 FREE COPIES of “You Are Not Alone, Vol 2: the book of companionship for women with eating disorders with free companion CD”, simply post a comment below that says “I want to win Andrea’s book!” The first 3 readers who post with this comment will win (if you wish to remain anonymous but still have a chance to win you can email me at mc@mentorconnect-ed.org)