Archives for Good News

Good News

How to Get to Know the Real YOU


I have spent years searching for the "real me."

Every so often I would catch this fleeting glimpse of someone - a free, funny, warm, spontaneous, creative, loving, laughter-filled being - as she moved through me.

I would try to follow her, but she was very quick....so quick she often seemed to be formed out of sheer wishful thinking or my (always) overactive imagination.

But I kept searching for her anyway.

I kept searching because she was irresistible. She was marvelous.

On the days she would spontaneously flit through me, the effect was not unlike finding out the FBI had just caught the real suspect and the handcuffs could finally come off. The jail cell door was opened and I could go home now.

I was free. 
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Good News

How I Know You Have What it Takes To Live Well as “You”


The first three decades of my life were a pretty rough ride.

I just didn't think I had what it takes to do a good job living life as "me."

So I kept trying to delegate the responsibility to someone else.

For example, when I had a decision to make, I would waffle and wait, stall and stumble, ask others (ad nauseum) for their input, and frequently choose poorly even after all that.

I just didn't trust myself. Even worse, I didn't respect myself....or like myself.

It is hard to do your best job when you don't like, trust or respect the person you are working for.

Today all that has changed.

Today I firmly hold the steering wheel of my own life, and I steer with confidence (if not always with impeccable directional sense).

What changed?

Well, for starters, I began to really grasp - on a much deeper level than just my mind - the unique opportunity that being "me" really is.

No one else can do it - and that is because there are no other openings. There is only one "me." Only ONE.

But maybe for some of you, that reads like a tired cliche, especially if you feel like you've been in a headlock with yourself for the last day or decade. If so, I get it - truly I do.

So here is something else that changed. I realized I am the one with the most to lose - and the most to gain - by learning how to live well as "me."

Yes, my parents would care, my mentors and friends would care, my pets would care if I ended up doing such a bad job at living my life I was no longer here at all. They would care.

But not as much as I would care.  
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Good News

My Journey to Learn How to Hold Success


A few months ago, I finally published my second book.

I was super excited.....at first.

But once the book began selling well in earnest, I began to feel anxious.

At this point I asked myself quite kindly, "What is the matter? Why are you so anxious when you could be enjoying your new book's success?"

Very quickly from within I heard these shocking words, "Just wait until the book stops selling and the bottom falls out of all this - then see how cheery you will feel!"

In other words, I was clearly having trouble adjusting to my own success.

I had somehow become so accustomed to feeling like a failure that even when success came knocking and then let itself in, I refused to recognize or welcome it.

I was too afraid of what would happen if it decided not to stay. I was SO afraid, in fact, that I was actively visualizing future failure in the midst of current success!

It was at this point I realized that I lacked the strength to hold success.  
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Good News

How I KNOW Body Love is Possible


Over the years, I have detected a pattern to how I tend to do "personal growth."

First, I whine and moan about how I really want something - let's say body acceptance - and I complain about how hard I've been working and why haven't I achieved it yet...?

Then I work really hard some more, and I keep working and working and working.

Then one day, or week, or year, I wake up and there it is - that thing I've been working so hard to achieve. It is sitting calmly on the end of my bed, just waiting for me to open my eyes so it can enjoy the shocked look on my face.

Over the past year, I have had just such a surprise visitor - body acceptance. 
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Good News

Learning to Be On Your Own Side


I am always in awe right around this time of year.

This is because I realize: a) a whole year has just gone by, and b) a whole new year is just about to arrive.

Wow. When did all this happen?!

But in recent years my awe has increased as I've realized I am no longer looking to a fresh new year to solve all the issues and problems the tired old year didn't get around to dealing with.

I no longer wake up on January 1st, New Year's Day, hoping and expecting a miracle to have unfolded overnight.

This is because the miracle has already occurred - and it happened a long time ago. 
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Good News

Choosing “Now” (and why it is worth it)

Right before I graduated from college, I got offered a job that paid quite a lot.
So of course I took it. Right away I paid off all my student loans and saved up a bundle of cash.
But even though I was raking in the green (in fact, I had more money at that time than I have ever had before or since!) I couldn't buy a cup of coffee without feeling guilty for spending what I felt sure I should be saving for later.
In short, I didn't feel I deserved the coffee now if it came at the expense of the later needs of my future self.
Unfortunately, I was also still really sick with my eating disorder in those first post-college years, so lots of other things besides my relationship with my own cash were still upside-down. Even worse, the job itself also made me sick - there were more than a few days when offing myself literally seemed preferable to another day spent all trussed up in hose and heels and, well, hell.
During those three extra-long years, pricey cups of coffee temporarily eased my angst. Thoughts of all the rest of my cash that my future self would have to spend during her retirement did not.
This was because I could barely myself imaging surviving the day I was in, let alone a day 30 or 50 years forward when I would finally have "enough" and wouldn't have to work anymore.
So I bought my little cups of coffee and worried, and saved the rest for my retirement and worried. 
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Animal Mentors

Why I Love My Stomach


Oh. The stomach.

That bastion of photoshopping. That naysayer of bikini season. That frenemy of (tasty) dessert.

With so much seemingly riding on its relative degree of concavity or convexity at any given moment, it is no wonder I have suffered with digestive issues for nearly as long as I've been alive.

But today I am happy to share I am mostly free from these life-long embarrassments and discomforts.

Thanks in large part to a combination of affirmations, probiotics, breathing techniques, meditation and other gentle helps, my stomach is too.

Today, my stomach and I have an agreement. It takes care of "digestion" and I take care of the rest. 
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Good News

How I Discovered the Truth About Receiving and Giving


When I first became sick with an eating disorder, I didn't really know what was happening to me.

But I knew it didn't feel good.

And I knew I didn't feel good - about my disease, or about me.

So when I first starting trying to recover, I accepted others' help only because I had exhausted all other options.

I didn't feel worthy of their time. I didn't think I deserved the gifts of their compassion and mentoring guidance.

Yet, it still felt very good to receive what they had to offer.

As I received more and more and began to really fill up on love and grace and self-worth for the first time ever, something amazing occurred.

I began to long to give to others. 
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Good News

That Moment You First Meet Your Best You


For so many years I have lived with the suspicion that there is a much kinder, sweeter, more loving being inside me than the one I spend most of my waking hours with.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not lodging a complaint about being "conscious me." These days, I feel like I mostly do a reasonably good job of staying optimistic, seeing the positive, treating myself and others with kindness and respect, and always trying to do my best.

I'm talking about something far beyond these basics.

I'm talking about a being who is - luminous. Expansive. Tuned in.

I'm talking about an "inner me" who maybe wouldn't even be able to manifest in my day-to-day without significant interruptions to that same day-to-day (for reasons of aforementioned luminosity, expansiveness, and empathy).

Recently, I realized that this being exists. I have proof.

She has always been there. I have proof of this too. 
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Good News

The Secret to Sustaining Happiness


Many years ago, I was sitting on the floor of an ashram, wearing what looked (to the westernized me at least) a lot like pajamas.

Our lesson that day was about happiness - how to find it, how to hold onto it.

Our teacher explained, "People will fight so hard to get rid of pain, suffering. But when it comes to joy, they think it should just come to them and stay all by itself."

Since that day, I have never taken my own happiness for granted. 
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