Archives for Celebrity Mentors

Celebrity Mentors

John Nash and How He Changed My Life


On Saturday, May 23, 2015, John Nash & his wife, Alicia, were riding through New Jersey in a taxi.

They had just returned from the Abel Prize awards ceremony in Oslo, Norway, where Dr. Nash had accepted his prize from the King of Norway himself.

For those of you who may not know this, I dedicated a whole chapter and several more pages of my first book, "Beating Ana: how to outsmart your eating disorder and take your life back," to Dr. Nash's story.

Even though I consider him one of my longtime mentors, we never met, but he and his wife were instrumental in stabilizing me in recovery nevertheless.

From Dr. Nash, I learned there really is such a thing as "mind over matter" (at least my personal matter, that is), and that it can be life-saving.

In this, he helped me increase my daily practice of "putting my mind on a diet," a regimen he credits with helping him overcome the effects of paranoid schizophrenia.

And reading and watching his story (through Sylvia Nasar's biographical book, "A Beautiful Mind," and then the Ron Howard movie by the same name), forever cemented my commitment to keeping my own counsel - about my chances for a successful recovery AND a successful life.

My whole life is better because John & Alicia Nash refused to listen to anyone who claimed he could never overcome his mental illness. 
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Celebrity Mentors

My New Style Role Models


In my last post, I shared my delight at discovering the modeling industry is experiencing somewhat of a....well...makeover.

In a nutshell, women ages 50-90+ are suddenly everywhere.

I LOVE it.

The more I researched, the more I discovered that there is a backbone, a foundation, to this sudden surge of interest in the over-50 set.

His name is Ari Seth Cohen, and he runs the blog (and now book and now movie) Advanced Style.

Cohen says the inspiration to create Advanced Style came from his closeness with his two grandmothers. He wanted to share their wisdom and beauty with others through photography.

When I popped onto his blog this morning, I was delighted to notice he is now photographing fashionable men of the same age as well.

All I can say to this whole movement is - it's about time. 
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Celebrity Mentors

A Sudden Spurt of Senior Style – and Why I Love It


All of a sudden, "women of a certain age" are hot.

This, perhaps more than any other phenomenon I have witnessed in my 44 years to date, showcases that fashion trends are just that.....trends.

They are literally meaningless until the masses (aka us) give them meaning.

If no one pays attention, the trend doesn't catch on, and the fashion industry moves on to something else, hoping for a better response.

Somehow, when 14 year-old British model Twiggy was first introduced to us masses in the 1960's, her look caught on, especially amongst other kids her age, who could see themselves in her somewhat androgynous, boyish appearance.

This ushered in the "age of thin," which has persisted to this day (although recent fashion trends of a different sort are beginning to signal a shift here as well).

But now, all of a sudden (or for at least a year or two back as the fashion industry has been planning for its own future trends) we see Helen Mirren, age 69, as the face of L'Oreal Cosmetics in the U.K.

Jessica Lange, age 66, is representing Marc Jacobs. 
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Celebrity Mentors

Candice Bergen on Why Beauty is Terrifying


Bergen's response:

Because it's so vitally important to people, and they treat you very differently from other women. You have to work a little harder to find out who's underneath your face. You have to make people comfortable with you. Of course, I'm grateful beyond words that I had it, but beauty's very often the elephant in the room, and you're the elephant handler.

The interviewer then asked, "Is there any cure?"

Bergen replies:

Getting older helps.

Can I just say how much I loved reading this?! 
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Celebrity Mentors

Stephen Hawking In His Own Words


I haven't seen the new Hawking film, "The Theory of Everything."

But the Stephen Hawking I met in "Hawking," a 2013 film in which Hawking himself narrates the story of his life, is a man I won't soon - or ever - forget.

At one point in the film, long after his body has become virtually useless due to the ravages of ALS disease, Hawking shares:

Because every day could be my last, I have a desire to make the most of each and every minute.

We are all different, but we share the same human spirit. Perhaps it is human nature that we adapt and survive.

This is a man who states he does not believe in any concept of a god or the afterlife.

So to Hawking, this life - one day by one day - is what each of us is given.

Today is the only "known" we have (and as such, the only "proof" we have to rely on that our life is even taking place!)

Hawking has three kids and has been married twice.

He has appeared on the "Simpsons," "The Big Bang Theory," and "Star Trek" (his favorite sci-fi show).

His book, "A Brief History of Time," has been a worldwide bestseller for years.

To review all the awards and honors he has received would be - well - these have been catalogued quite admirably elsewhere.

But what inspires me the most is how clear it is that Hawking does not inhabit his body - rather, he inhabits his mind, his emotions (in the form of passion for living and for connecting people with the science he loves), and his relationships. 
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Celebrity Mentors

Monica Lewinsky, Mentor

My mom recently sent me an article about Monica Lewinsky.

The article, titled "Monica Lewinsky is Back, but this Time it's on Her Terms," sounded intriguing.

So I read it.

And then it broke my heart.

I didn't realize we are only four years apart (she is 40, I am 44). Thinking back to when I was her age, I must admit I did some very regrettable things (and got involved with some very regrettable folks).....but since none of those oopses involved a U.S. president, mostly even I don't remember them now.

Thank goodness.

But Monica Lewinsky can't go an hour without remembering.

A few months ago I posted a blog called "Handling Hate Mail, Hateful Comments, and Hate."

In this post, I shared one comment - just ONE comment - that cut me straight through....which is one of (in comparison with Monica Lewinsky) just a handful of comments I have received over the years in my semi-public profession working with recovering and recovered people.

At one point during her recent TED talk, Lewinsky asks, "Where is the compassion?"

I have often wondered the same.

The haters who post and write and call anonymously are one thing....but today, very few even bother to hide their identity.

That boggles my mind.

Where is our fear of repercussion? Where is our compassion?

Where is our humanity?

We just spew out our hatred and anger and condemnation so freely....and then....what? Go home and hug our kids? Kiss our partners? Vent to our friends about how mean such-and-so is for gossiping about us at the office? Hope for a five-star review on our annual performance review at work?

Do each of us (or most of us, anyway) really have two personas - the kind, nice, hard-working, hopes-to-be-understood-and-respected-and-loved daily one - and that "Other One" - the one with the really white skin who wears the scary dark cape and has retractable front fangs?

I know both live inside of me. 
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Celebrity Mentors

To Love is to Struggle (Thank Goodness!)

This morning in my Facebook travels, I came across this quote from Mr. (Fred) Rogers:

Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.

As my mentor, Lynn, often likes to remind me, the moment I set an intention towards achieving something, what comes up first are all the obstacles in between me and the full manifestation of that intention.

Fun.

Speaking of which, one ongoing intention I've been working towards for the last few years is learning to love unconditionally - myself and others.

So far, I am finding this very, very difficult.

There are several challenges (and here, I also have to mention that these challenges are just the ones I know of thus far!): 
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Celebrity Mentors

Navigating Big Changes


In my last post, I shared that so far, 2015 is a year of big changes in my life.

This time last year, I was still at the helm of MentorCONNECT, the nonprofit I founded in 2009.

This year, as of January 1, the reins are in the hands of a new group of leaders - people I know and trust, but they are still not me.

This time last year, I was broken up with my boyfriend, miserable yet resigned, stoic yet heartbroken.

This year, we enter a new year together and we are - remarkably - stronger than we've ever been.

And these are just two of the really big changes accompanying me in 2015.

A few days ago, a friend and I watched a movie called "Birdman," starring Michael Keaton and Edward Norton.

Aside from an instant fondness for the title (feathers are always a win-win for me), I found the movie itself somewhat hard to digest.

For instance, there were quite a lot of scenes with dudes running around in their tidy white undies.

Also, actors were portrayed as (yawn) self-centered, a theme I find both overdone and unfair (i.e., are actors truly more self-involved, or does their profession simply cause them to be unable to so easily hide that aspect of our shared human condition?)

Plus, frankly, I really thought the "Birdman" costume could have been better.

All that aside, the most beautiful part of the film for me was a scene where Norton agrees to play "Truth or Dare" with Keaton's daughter, Sam (played by Emma Stone).

In the scene, she asks him - flirtatiously - what he would do to her if he was not afraid.

His answer was both violent and beautiful, and has kept me thinking for days. 
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Celebrity Mentors

What Happens When the Journey Ends (a Tracks Postcript)


A few days ago two things happened.

I finished reading "Tracks" by Robyn Davidson, and I posted my first attempt to make some sense of her beyond-the-sensible and amazing journey.

While the book caused me more than a few sleepless nights, I now feel it was a good kind of sleeplessness - the kind that occurs only with the most profound and unstoppable of wake up calls.

Unlike so very many in our culture today (and even me for a time earlier in my life), Davidson did not wish to be famous. She wasn't interested in being anyone's inspiration or role model or icon or heroine.

She was searching for something - something private and personal.

She was searching for some kind of continuity within herself, her path, her past, her future - and at that point in her life, the search seemed to require a dog, camels, and a trek across 1,700 miles of desert.

So be it.

In the Postscript to "Tracks" (written in 2012), Davidson states she can hardly relate to the girl in the book she herself wrote, much less the character in the movie by the same name.

I totally understand.

Looking back now, I hardly recognize the girl who flew alone to India, and then to Israel, in search of ..... something. I admire her sometimes - her courage, her innocence, her hope - but I don't really know her as "me."

So why did she do it? Why did Davidson spend nearly two years learning to train camels, raising cash, assembling gear, even giving part of herself away to National Geographic in exchange for a cash sponsorship to buy what she lacked?
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Animal Mentors

Tracks: What Robyn Davidson is Teaching Me about Journeys

Let me just start by saying - oh. my. goodness.

I can't remember how I heard about Robyn Davidson or her extraordinary journey.

I just remember, the moment I heard about it, I was online hunting down her book.

Titled simply "Tracks: a Woman's Solo Journey Across 1,700 Miles of Australian Outback," the story she has to tell is simply mind-bending.

Davidson embarked upon her solo adventure in her mid-20's.

When I was in my mid-20's,...
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