My Trust “Aha” Moment
So recently I wrote about trust….or rather, my lack thereof.
But then this morning I had a trust-based “aha” moment. This realization stemmed from my ongoing contemplation about the difference between “trust” and “surrender” – ie, is there any and if so, what is it?
Surrender I can do. Surrender is not a problem for me. Surrender feels like acknowledging that the unknown is a very real factor in my choice to get up again this morning. Without some sense of surrender, some willingness to surrender, some actual surrender for that matter, I would find it awfully hard to function – with or without those expensive anti-anxiety meds my doctor keeps prescribing and I keep taking.
So this morning I asked myself, “What IS the difference between surrender and trust?”
And I realized that (for me at least) it all boils down to one thing.
Trust is goal-oriented….surrender is open-ended.
When I surrender, I am surrendering everything. I am surrendering my understanding, my attachment to any outcome, my sense of what I think ‘should’ unfold or what might be best, my own (at best) limited wisdom which always wants to weigh in…..I am letting go. Completely.
When I trust, however, there is a goal in mind. I am trusting that “such and so” will “turn out well.” I don’t have to understand what “well” looks like or be attached to it looking a certain way (for instance, to getting a certain amount of money or to having an important relationship take a particular path) but I am definitely attached to the outcome fitting the definition of “well” – aka “better than it was before or is now.”
When I surrender, I just surrender. But when I trust, I “trust in.” Someone. Something. A concept, idea, destination or eventuality.
I also realized in this “aha” moment that I am pretty much always trusting in that someone or something, concept, idea, destination or eventuality to be an improvement over what is unfolding in my life-as-it-is.
So surrender is a journey. But trust has a destination.
That is where I am at today. I am feeling a little more kindly disposed towards trust after this realization. I still have a ways to go, but at least trust isn’t in the time-out corner anymore.
Today’s Takeaway: How do you relate to trust versus surrender? Trust versus distrust? How do you interact with the experience of trusting in your life – for instance, how do you know when you are “trusting” versus “not trusting”?
Surrender image available from Shutterstock.
Cutts, S. (2013). My Trust “Aha” Moment. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 28, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2013/07/my-trust-aha-moment/