Trying to Trust
Trust is a tough one.
Trying to trust, I have discovered, is like trying to breathe. Until “trying” turns to “breathing” you’re basically out of luck.
In the same way, trying to trust has become a useless exercise for me. I might as well take all that “trying” energy and spend it on something that is amenable to trying (whatever that might be) because trust clearly is not.
(On that note, I can’t help but notice that Yoda – that old classic – still says it best, “Do or do not. There is no try.” No kidding.)
If I want to actually trust, I have to find a way past my oh-so-industrious mind that keeps kicking up perfectly valid reasons why I shouldn’t trust, why trust is a bad idea, why trust is untrustworthy, blah, blah, blah…and sink into an experience of trust itself.
I have never been in a zero gravity atmosphere, but if I had to make an analogy about what “trusting” feels like to me, it feels like floating. It feels like letting go and – amazingly – watching myself rise instead of fall.
Trusting feels like, well, trust. It feels like relief. Honestly, it feels like being able to take a whole in-breath without having to stop several times to encourage myself to push past the part of me that is still holding my breath. It feels like that point in a movie when the hero(ine) is about to get clobbered but then just at the perfect moment the backup squad arrives and all works out for the good.
I really, really want to trust all the time. Mostly I can only manage it when I am covered head to toe by pillows and blankets and more pillows and the room is dark and I am absolutely sure I set the alarm and that only me and Pearl are inside (ie, all the bad guys are most definitely outside).
But my goal is to trust all the time. Or, put another way, to stop trying to trust. To do. Just do. Because there is no “try.”
Today’s Takeaway: What is your relationship with trust like? Do you trust easily? How do you frame trust – as faith? Loyalty? Love? Give-and-take in equal measure? Some other way? Do you want to improve on or increase your capacity with trust? What works best to help you do this?
Wheelchair race photo available from Shutterstock
Cutts, S. (2013). Trying to Trust. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 4, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2013/04/trying-to-trust/