Psych Central


So here we are – the Great Wish Experiment, Part Two.

In Part One, we investigated how viable of an option making wishes really is in our adult lives.

Do we still take “making a wish” seriously? Do we roll our eyes at ourselves as we do it? Have we erased wish-making from our daily activities? How do we respond to others who make wishes? Do we encourage them, but secretly feel just the teensiest bit sorry for them on the inside? Do we truly believe that their wishes will come true, but refuse to believe in our own?

Making our wish list can feel wonderful. If we choose it.

There are a myriad of different options here. All are possible – our minds really are both that powerful and that determined. So what we now need to figure out is how we want it to be.

Which is a process not that much different from wish-making itself, as luck would have it.

With this post, I wanted to share with you a helpful process one of my mentors offered me to help make wish-making feel more real, more probable, more satisfying.

This is helpful because, while I often don’t take the wishes I make on my own behalf all that seriously, I quite frequently take the wishes I make on behalf of others very seriously indeed (by the way, some might choose to call this “praying”, but for our purposes here, it is really just a matter of semantics in my book).

So the process my mentor suggested incorporates my own wishes, and the wishes of others. Here is how it goes:

  1. Take a deep breath in
  2. Let it out (these first two steps are very easy :-))
  3. Call to mind a candle with a bright, steady flame
  4. Make a wish (for myself)
  5. Whisper the wish I just made to the candle flame
  6. Watch the candle illuminate the wish and give it wings
  7. Take a deep breath in
  8. Let it out
  9. Offer the wish up (to God, the Divine, the Universe, whatever works for you) on behalf of myself and all humanity (this is very beautiful, because it recognizes how simple and shared most of our wishes truly are at their core – we are all in this together)

I love this process. I do it practically every morning, and sometimes more than once if I have more than one wish. I feel the wishes in my gut – they come to me, and not the other way around. The whole process feels very connected and deeply respectful, adult in the way that the adult-me needs it to, and yet still also very humble and trusting, childish and innocent and so hopeful, the way the wishes themselves need it to.

Using this process is what helped me to realize I wasn’t taking my wishes on my own behalf seriously anymore. I also realized that I was confused about what to call “wishing” – is it “having faith”, “praying” (see earlier in this post), “setting goals”, “creating a vision board”?

The answer I arrived at is “who cares”. It just is. I want these things – I should have the guts to ask for them, to reach out for them, to open up the door when they knock.

Whether your mentors and personal heroes are motivational speakers, teachers, business leaders, gurus, pastors, yogis and yoginis, it doesn’t matter. There is a process in life of ever-present, ever-constant giving, and ever-present, ever-constant receiving. Whether we ever get the exact same dollar back as the one we deposited at our bank, when we put a dollar in we get a dollar back.

This is all we need to know. Wishing is a part of this. When we wish, we join in.

What we get – what form it shows up in, how willing we are to relinquish what we are wishing for in favor of something that is actually even better, well, those are subjects for different conversations. But the wishing part – that is where this whole process begins.

Today’s Takeaway: If you, like me, are having some trouble wishing seriously – whether on your own behalf, on behalf of others, or both – give the process in this post a try. I truly do love it – maybe it will be helpful for you too! :-)

 


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    Last reviewed: 13 Sep 2012

APA Reference
Cutts, S. (2012). The Great Wish Experiment, Part Two. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 19, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/09/the-great-wish-experiment-part-two/

 

 

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