make a wishFor some reason, the stars (planets? moons? blades of grass?) have been lining up to send me a very consistent message over the last month or so.

The message?

Make a wish. Have fun with it.

Yikes.

The truth is, I wish I felt more comfortable making wishes, but in the last six weeks I have realized that in fact I do not.

That sounds so silly, doesn’t it! It sounds silly to my own ears.

I mean, who on earth wouldn’t feel comfortable making wishes? We learn how as kiddos. We engage in wish-making with our friends, giggling about future bridal gowns  or dreaming of joining the All-Star League.

These very things – peace, happiness, love, success – are what so many of us often wish for. They sound pretty harmless – and very wonderful – to me. So why disbelieve before our wishes have a chance to prove us wrong?

Yet as we begin to ease towards adulthood, we tend to more readily speak of wishes – our own and in general – with a casualness that greatly underrates their presence and potential in our life.

Do you doubt me? Then ask yourself this: when was the last time you caught yourself tossing off phrases like “I wish that…” or “Well I guess that is just wishful thinking….” as if wishes were pretty much the last bastion of immaturity.

We do tend to treat wish-making that way, don’t we? We want to let all the adults around us know that, while we might be having a bit of trouble with letting go of the old habit of wish-making entirely, we at the same time do realize how silly it is – no childish wish-making for us! How would that look on a resume?

How indeed?

The sad truth (for me anyway) is that it seems that by the time we reach our adult years, pretty much everything we say seems almost designed to negate the very wishing we are doing – as if believing in wishes coming true is like believing in Santa Claus.

So the question then becomes, is making wishes – or even worse, believing in wishes that might actually one day come true – embarrassing?

Or is it akin to inviting their opposite into our lives?

Or both?

I have no idea. But I am in the process of finding out.

Over the past six weeks, I have made some wishes. I have spoken them aloud to myself and whoever else may be listening in a tone that indicates I am actually serious this time – a tone that sounds inviting, not incredulous. To do this, I have adopted a helpful process one of my mentors suggested that involves breathing, visualization, and spreading the wealth (more about that in Part Two).

For now, we will stop here and ponder if we are creating an environment in our own inner lives that is welcoming or off-putting to the very wishes we long to draw to us.

Today’s Takeaway: What is the “state of the wish” in your own life? Do you draw back from wishing for anything seriously anymore? Are you tangled up in issues of adulthood versus childhood, or faith versus fairy tales? Do you think you deserve the things you want – why or why not? I am asking myself all of these questions right now. I would love to hear your thoughts as well!

Girl with dandelion photo available from Shutterstock

 


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    Last reviewed: 10 Sep 2012

APA Reference
Cutts, S. (2012). The Great Wish Experiment, Part One. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 25, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2012/09/the-great-wish-experiment-part-one/

 

 

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